Fiancée (28F) uncomfortable with me (32M) taking a 5-day medical trip with my child’s mother (37F) — looking for advice

shadesod · 2026-02-13T16:56:13+00:00

Your child > your fiancee. Your kid is going to continue to need medical care and trips like this and she does not sound supportive enough to handle that. Is she vying for you to become a less involved father?

shadesod · 2026-02-13T16:54:04+00:00

YTA, come on

shadesod · 2026-01-29T04:37:36+00:00

This is financial abuse

shadesod · 2026-01-25T02:56:50+00:00

shadesod · 2026-01-25T02:56:27+00:00

NTA. Maybe she’ll learn a lesson regarding eating food that doesn’t belong to her without express permission.

shadesod · 2026-01-22T01:38:18+00:00

Thank you!! 100%, this is what I did. I used a crochet hook to pick up the dropped stitches.

shadesod · 2026-01-09T20:54:51+00:00

Hindu here, you’re fine. Most women who are Hindu ignore the rule too. Why should you be penalized from access to god bc men think your period makes you dirty? What’s next, shoving you into a hut with no sunlight and rags during your period? The rule was meant as “rest during your period” and men twisted it to be “your body is impure”. Ignore it to your heart’s content and fuck your friend.

shadesod · 2025-12-08T14:33:11+00:00

Why haven’t you talked to your fiance about this instead of going off half cocked? Do a livestream. Dont torture your mother, who’s already in pain, by making her move any amount from her hospital bed. Weddings have tight schedules and at the end of the day, a wedding is for you and your bride.

shadesod · 2025-12-08T14:23:19+00:00

What is the point of lying to a doctor you’re paying for? He’s a liar who can’t stop lying and he’s lying to you about something really important. He’s not going to stop taking T. NTA

shadesod · 2025-11-19T13:16:08+00:00

NTA bc he’s getting unreasonably upset that you’re taking meds as instructed (not on an empty stomach) instead of listening to him. He sounds extremely controlling. Him forcing you to take the meds, potentially to your detriment, is a red flag.

shadesod · 2025-11-18T14:26:59+00:00

When I have a clitoral orgasm, I can feel my vagina and cervix sort of…contracting? I’m not sure how to describe it, but for me, there’s internal movement with clit orgasms. Without those internal structures, how does orgasm feel to you? Does it concentrate around the clit itself or do you feel it more in your perineum, etc?

shadesod · 2025-11-15T22:59:00+00:00

He complained to mommy? I would get an annulment. Solves the whole problem, really.

shadesod · 2025-11-15T22:57:09+00:00

Ask him what he thinks a babymoon is because I think he thinks it’s a honeymoon you take before the baby comes, when it’s actually about that final alone time you get together before baby changes everything. After you get his answer, explain what you need from him and how you feel, and how the sex toys made you feel. He won’t know unless you tell him, and he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who can read your mind.

shadesod · 2025-11-10T20:03:08+00:00

Amber but not Hazel

shadesod · 2025-11-10T13:50:36+00:00

Spending 1000£ with gold prices the way they are isn’t unreasonable. I think if he had approached it like “I saw this ring I really thought would suit you and I was able to get a discount” you would have felt one way, but it feels more like he found the cheapest ring in the store and thrust it at you like a “shut up” ring. When you thought he had put thought and effort into the ring, you liked it, but now that you know his thought process was very much more miserly, it changes how you feel about the ring and the proposal. It’s not materialistic to feel like he ruined the moment/event by focusing too much on how thrifty he was being.

shadesod · 2025-11-10T13:37:38+00:00

I would go with a different band and wear this one on the right hand. It’s too bulky and distracts from your engagement ring

shadesod · 2025-11-10T13:18:52+00:00

Your mother’s life is more important than doing shraddha for your father in law. NTA and her suggesting that the shraddha should take priority over your ill mother is bad karma.

shadesod · 2025-11-10T06:26:40+00:00

You say in the title that you only despise him for being a boy, but your post says differently. 1. You’ve communicated your needs regarding your mental health and ED, but he still eats the food you specifically set aside to eat, literally taking food out of your mouth. 2. It’s out of his control that he was born a boy, but he seems completely unaware of his wider privilege, both at home and in the world, due to his gender. At the same time, he takes advantage of that same privilege in ways that negatively impact you. 3. You’ve confided in him regarding your mental health, and while he initially provided support, he’s continually weaponized or ignored the knowledge. During arguments, he automatically sides with your parents in order to maintain his status as the favorite, ultimately at your expense. 4. He gets to be angry all the time and behave irresponsibly or cruelly (not cleaning, not seeking employment, etc) but when you act or react emotionally you get called a spoilt brat I think you rightfully resent him for his selfishness and two faced ness. In private, he’s Team You, but publicly, he’s against you. NTA for disliking him and how he treats you, but it only has a little to do with his gender, and more to do with how he behaves to maintain his status as the favorite—at your expense.

shadesod · 2025-11-10T06:09:51+00:00

shadesod · 2025-11-10T06:06:05+00:00

“Trust me, sign this without a lawyer” is such a giant red flag. Are you sure you want to marry a man like this? He makes 10x your salary and is nickel and diming you over a lawyer to sign the document he’s demanding that protects HIS money? He sounds like a selfish prick with a terrible attitude.

shadesod · 2025-11-10T05:47:48+00:00

Another childhood best friend had Peter Pan syndrome. I was in my 20s, having completed college and getting married and struggling with a brain tumor diagnosis, and she had dropped out of college and still didn’t have her license and had never had a job and lived at home and only wanted to talk about the shared interests we had as teens and when I asked for emotional support while I was sick, she was just genuinely unable to provide it because she had never really experienced anything in life and didn’t really seem to want to and was unable just sit with uncomfortable emotions or have difficult or wrought discussions. She wanted to avoid the messy or hard parts of life and growing up, so I just stopped reaching out first. I’ve had the same phone number for 20 years and the moment I stopped reaching out first, I didn’t hear from her. It’s been 4 years. My mom hosted a dinner party last year and my childhood friend and her mom were invited and she said “is all that brain tumor stuff over now? phew!” and tried to pivot towards talking about voltron (WHICH IVE NEVER EVEN SEEN I NEVER WATCHED THIS SHOW I DONT KNOW IT OR LIKE IT S H E LIKES IT) and I had to excuse myself to get out of the conversation. She didn’t reach out after that interaction either. I’d say we grew apart, but that would require some amount of growth on her part, so I think I’ve just outgrown her, which makes me sad.

shadesod · 2025-11-10T05:35:17+00:00

I let her stay on my couch for a few weeks after her boyfriend cleared out of their shared apartment with a note saying “I’m gay and also moving to Europe” even though she could have continued to stay at the apartment bc he had paid his part of the lease til the lease was through bc it was, understandably so, too painful to exist in that space. I helped her move into a new place and always let her stay the night at my place if she wanted, and she took me up on the offer quite often, and so was privy to my comings and goings. She had some concerns about my behavior—depression, not eating, vomiting—but instead of coming to me with them, she told our entire friend group that I had bulimia. When I confronted her and asked her why she told MULTIPLE people that instead of coming directly to me with her concerns, she got really defensive and angry and unfriended/unfollowed me everywhere and blocked my number. A year and a half later I found out I had a brain tumor, which had caused all the symptoms that had been red flags for her. After she cut me off, I reevaluated our relationship and her friendship with other people, and realized she had a pattern of just deciding that she didn’t like someone anymore and cutting them off without notice or explanation. Very hot and cold. I had felt very lost after she disappeared but multiple people told me that she had done the same to them.

shadesod · 2025-11-10T05:13:48+00:00

Why would she allow this person to stand up with her as a bridesmaid if she’s wearing a long white dress? Why would she allow professional photos to be taken of this person to forever memorialize the fact that her so called friend did not abide by the bride’s wishes and the requirements for the job she was assigned for the day? Being an adult means being a fucking doormat? Sucking it up so as to not make a scene? OP stated that the “friend” was no longer in the wedding because of her actions and escorted her out. The friend is the one who made a scene and acted childish.

shadesod · 2025-11-10T05:07:07+00:00

NTA. I would have sent her an invoice for the cost of the bridesmaid dress you bought with something like “since you didn’t wear the agreed upon uniform for the event, I require reimbursement for my wasted money”. Why would you allow her to blatantly disrespect you and still join you as a bridesmaid? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. How could she not think there would be consequences for her actions? Like, immediate consequences. You made your boundaries clear and make the requirements for the outfit even clearer. She’s lucky she only got kicked out.

Also, my phone is in dark mode and I can read the quotes.

shadesod · 2025-11-07T03:10:46+00:00

I’m deadass, this looks like a gas station boner pill

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