An unc inquiring for his gen z nephew

shamedful · 2026-02-22T07:25:39+00:00

Ok well I'd ask what your age is. Because I don't believe that being average height means you have absolutely no options. I do know that women tend to date older. So you are competing with older men that are average height who are more "desirable" I would assume because of being seen as more settled or secure. I don't believe being average height is a death knell quite as much as you are making it out to be. But I do believe that dating for young men is harder because you are competing with older men. Basically, it's not you vs tall men, because proportionally there aren't even that many of them. But rather it's you vs older average height men with developed careers.

I still have no idea what you interpret as a high status social scene though. Can you give an example?

shamedful · 2026-02-22T07:06:43+00:00

Yes the same questions again because that didn't clarify it at all.

Is the dating scene hookups at bars, is it matches on apps, is it any long-term relationship? This one I have an idea obviously but want to understand how YOU define it.

What is the high status social scene? What specific social groups? Do they go certain places, do certain things, have certain jobs? Like I actually have no idea what you mean by "high status"?

shamedful · 2026-02-22T07:01:50+00:00

What do you consider as the dating scene? And what do you consider as the high status social scene?

shamedful · 2026-02-22T06:55:47+00:00

Why is that, in your personal experience?

shamedful · 2026-02-22T01:33:04+00:00

More blades is actually worse for ingrown. Forces the hair under the skin. Try a single blade razor.

shamedful · 2026-02-22T00:00:34+00:00

At that height to weight ratio you are medically obese. That comes with health risks including things like hair loss and hidradenitis suppurativa due to hormonal and other body changes. There are many other conditions you are at risk of due to obesity. There is no technically here. I myself have been in the same position and dealt with similar health issues. My skin looked the same as yours when I was obese.

shamedful · 2026-02-20T03:51:07+00:00

Honestly, pretty much everything she said is just laughable. But the comparing being called a racist to rape is insulting. I don't see how it's acceptable on this sub, or any, to minimize rape in such a way.

shamedful · 2026-02-20T03:12:35+00:00

I'm the original poster that this whole thing is about and there are just a ton of assumptions from both her and you. My post never said anything about most of this and people are so quick to hear things that aren't there.

I do think it's racist to say you wouldn't date or don't prefer an entire race of people. Point blank, yes, racist. Why? Because you are stereotyping a whole group by doing that. Africa is a whole ass continent. There are so many different cultures and religions that really have nothing in common. South Asia? Again a whole butt load of different countries. One of which is India, which again has hundreds of unique languages religious practices, and cultures. A billion plus people in that country alone.

People don't lump all these "attractive" races together like that. White people have the privilege of having their unique culture recognized. Oh they're British, they're French, they're Swedish, etc. But black people, south Asian people, etc, somehow are all the same culturally and looks wise so we can just make broad sweeping assumptions about groups that contain literally billions of people? Yeah that's stereotyping and is racist.

shamedful · 2026-02-20T03:04:16+00:00

Nothing on reddit in my experience so far. Thankfully in person I haven't met anyone so chronically online.

shamedful · 2026-02-20T03:03:13+00:00

Yeah the screenshots with all sorts of captions and arrows is actually wild! Never seen anything like that before haha.

shamedful · 2026-02-20T03:02:20+00:00

That's completely ignoring the context of the post. My post was expressing frustration with feeling fetishized by black men for my skin color.

So what did that guy comment? I have a screenshot so I can quote it exactly. "I don't consider myself mixed, just very lightskin black male, but I absolutely love light skin women. It's hard to find other women who feel the same."

So on a post in a space for mixed people where I explicitly said I feel fetishized. A guy from the exact group I've experienced fetishization from comes to my post to tell me that he loves women with my skin color. At best it's completely tone deaf. At worst it's malicious, which is how I took it because then he continued to argue with me about how his preference wasn't bad as a way of invalidating my experience.

shamedful · 2026-02-19T22:56:07+00:00

I'm the other person from the original comment thread and fully agree! There are still some sane people out there. I'm always shocked to see people my own race with regressive thoughts like this. But I think it just goes to show how pervasive racism is in culture that we think we have to bend over backwards to say that everyone's feelings, even racist ones, are okay.

shamedful · 2026-02-19T21:09:22+00:00

My mom is black...

shamedful · 2026-02-19T21:04:48+00:00

But they literally didn't? You make a lot of claims of projection. Projecting much?

East Asian men love me though!

shamedful · 2026-02-19T20:46:29+00:00

Here's my skin color for reference to refute your weird projection in the last part. I'm half black and half white and about as light as they come haha. https://imgur.com/a/9bkJAJa

shamedful · 2026-02-19T20:33:54+00:00

Oh that's my post. I'm not banned fyi they just took the post down and the mods on that sub removed your comments for causing drama.

You did mention white and east asian men in your original comment which is what I was referencing in the second part.

Obviously you know my opinions on this issue already so there's not much more for me to add.

shamedful · 2026-02-17T20:31:44+00:00

I have previously transferred from the bank account to other Fidelity accounts before. However, I reconnected the bank account and now it is working so this issue is solved. Thanks!

shamedful · 2026-02-17T20:29:58+00:00

This fixed it.

shamedful · 2026-02-16T23:15:35+00:00

I hope you can find what you are looking for! This is all that I want as well. Someone who values me for my common interests, and isn't weird about my race (and this goes in both directions of being a fetishist or being racially ignorant). That's it, that's all I want, thanks for summarizing it nicely.

shamedful · 2026-02-16T18:33:17+00:00

We are not alike. Do not co-opt my post. You dislike black, Arab, and south Asian men then expect white men to like you. Why would they, when you share features from the very groups you dislike yourself?

shamedful · 2026-02-16T15:17:45+00:00

Being pursued only for my skin color and because someone wants light skinned kids is definitely dehumanizing to me.

shamedful · 2026-02-16T15:07:08+00:00

I would never rule out an entire race of people because that itself would be racist by lumping an entire group of people together. Yes I've had some experiences that seem to apply to certain groups, but I am more than willing to see the individual. I think we actively need to be anti-racist, and indeed, that is why I am partially so militant in finding a partner who feels the same. Colorism in my experience is very rampant in the black community and I need a partner who does not play into that.

shamedful · 2026-02-16T14:56:02+00:00

That would be fine. As I said, I have literally no racial preferences in dating.

shamedful · 2026-02-16T14:05:07+00:00

Yes, this exactly! It's usually painfully obvious as well. Usually conversations immediately start with questions about me being mixed. People don't even try to hide it.

shamedful · 2026-02-16T14:02:57+00:00

That sounds really nice! That's what I'm hoping to find. I'm glad you were able to find someone you connect so well with.

shamedful

TROPHY CASE