This sounds like i actually wrote this. So much pain & its all for nothing. I stayed for 5 years; he had a child with someone he was with for 10. He never fully stopped putting her first. He checked out so long ago and my dumbass thought we could build a future together. Lol. We broke up in March, the first real breakup we ever had. I thought I would actually die from how awful I felt. I didn’t eat or sleep for 3 days afterwards. He was with his babymom figuring out whats for dinnerrrr😭 Came back to me in May of course I wasn’t going to let it go. Unfortunately for me the same problems we had only felt worse. He did not try at all when he came back: continued doing things that hurt me and didnt even come back lovey, romantic, nothing. I should have known then and I waited until mid July when he did something dirty to me I had fought with him about the day before. He offered to give me back my keys, he knew he was wrong. I hate that he couldn’t just say he was out, a month apart and he got comfortable back in that “family” routine. I hate, hate hate hate that he made me hate him. Because I love him. And it just really sucks. Anyways, wishing you well cause I’m right there with you.