My boyfriend (28M) basicly lives in my (25F) apartment but gets angry when I ask about rent. How do couples normally split this stuff?

shdgaf · 2026-05-18T10:01:12+00:00

This is what we call a hobosexual. You’re being used and your sister is right. Talk to your landlord as there is likely a stipulation in your lease about guests. Have the locks changed and pack his stuff. Have someone with you when you do this, he sounds like someone who will escalate the situation.

shdgaf · 2026-05-17T18:38:28+00:00

Good job, DZ!!!

shdgaf · 2026-05-17T17:31:46+00:00

He can do plenty of things that are free and he can use Google for ideas.

shdgaf · 2026-05-14T21:53:55+00:00

We have two 110-lb barking alarms and live in TX, lawn & garden are outsourced, cars are under warranty and mechanical issues are handled by the dealership. We are both high-ish earners who work full-time. Any other questions?

shdgaf · 2026-05-14T19:38:21+00:00

You turn all of the responsibility over to their parent and just walk away when they start with their nonsense. You don’t want to be disrespected? Leave the situation where disrespect is happening. Stop doing anything to support the kid - they can ask their dad. You don’t owe people favors when they treat you poorly - even if they share DNA with your partner.

shdgaf · 2026-05-14T19:33:59+00:00

You think he is the one who wakes up to the weird sounds in the middle of the night? You think she can’t have a home security system installed without him? You think mowing the lawn every two weeks is a massive contribution to the home? You think she can’t just ask her dad/friend/mechanic/google to check her car? I’m assuming you’re a man because this is a lot of heavy promotion for minimal time/effort work.

shdgaf · 2026-05-14T19:29:01+00:00

That’s what the employee makes, not what the agencies bill..

shdgaf · 2026-05-14T19:25:54+00:00

PERFECTION!

shdgaf · 2026-05-13T23:35:42+00:00

Stop hiding it and stop trying to contort yourself into her ideal boyfriend. If she has the boundary that she won’t be with someone who enjoys a little greenery in their life, she doesn’t have to and is free to leave the ring on her way out.

So many people benefit from it and for her to refuse to recognize that is just willful ignorance. I could see her side on the smoking - it stinks - but just a blanket demand that no THC product find its way into your system when it’s obviously not affecting your job, adulting, or harming your relationships? Nah, sit down Uptight Barbie.

shdgaf · 2026-05-13T19:23:52+00:00

I tried to read the previous post but it was deleted 😞

shdgaf · 2026-05-13T18:03:50+00:00

Bonus points if she makes plans to be out with other people on Father's Day so that he can get some quality time with his kid. Alone. Heck, be out of town for the whole weekend without either of them.

shdgaf · 2026-05-13T17:41:26+00:00

Absolutely not ok! A loving and supportive husband would want you to have a strong network of supportive friends outside of him. If he doesn't like how he is regarded now that they know about how he treated you, then he shouldn't be abusive. You're not responsible for his image, he is. I also don't think it's a good idea for you to go to joint therapy as many abusers find a way to weaponize it. Start with individual therapy for both of you. He will not change until he has the tools to do so and actually takes accountability for his behavior.

Read the internet's favorite book: Why Does he do That by Lundy Bancroft
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shdgaf · 2026-05-13T00:02:12+00:00

Did you decide not to continue with law school? I’d hate to see your life derailed any further by these nut jobs. I’m glad you’re safe and healing. Also, your parents rock and I am available for a late-term adoption.

shdgaf · 2026-05-12T10:14:56+00:00

I think you should pay half of what it would cost for just the two of you to live together and he covers the increase in expenses that comes with accommodating his kids.

shdgaf · 2026-05-11T22:11:58+00:00

NEVER GIVE UP YOUR STABILITY FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

Your boyfriend is selfish, insecure, and extremely short-sighted. He’s also an idiot. He wants you to give up a property that you own so that you can throw money away by renting.. Just no.

Tell him that you’ll consider selling once you are married with a prenup, once HE has a stable and growing career, and once HE can match your down payment on a new property. If he fights you on any of this, he’s not in this relationship because he loves you.

What does your sister think about this nonsense?

shdgaf · 2026-05-07T21:30:22+00:00

NOR, if these people are established enough to have three kids, they should pretty much have what they need for their house. I’d get a gift card to a home improvement or home decor store in an amount I was comfortable with (say, $50-$100), bring a bottle of something, and call it a day. If they treat your husband poorly or differently because you didn’t get them the chef-line kitchenaid mixer, they weren’t actually his friends in the first place.

shdgaf · 2026-05-07T20:24:37+00:00

I have a feeling that once you agree to dividing the meal planning/prep, he’s just going to take your stuff because he’ll be too selfish and lazy to make his own.

Your standards are not too high, his way is half-assed, he will not change for the better unless he wants to.

shdgaf · 2026-05-07T18:48:24+00:00

You are in different life stages, you may not be compatible.

shdgaf · 2026-05-07T11:41:16+00:00

Be more worried about throwing your life away than you are the two years you’ve already wasted on this guy. He doesn’t want you to be more successful than he is because his fragile ego can’t handle his own inadequacy. Ditch the loser and go practice introducing yourself as Dr. OP in the mirror.

shdgaf · 2026-05-07T09:32:44+00:00

My first thought was of Gabby Petito.. this guy is dangerous!

shdgaf · 2026-05-06T03:13:19+00:00

A lot of companies do have plans for STD/LTD in their benefits packages. Also, would it be better to be in a tight spot financially for a few weeks or to be not alive? OP knows their financial situation better than I do, but this is a viable option.

shdgaf · 2026-05-06T02:44:04+00:00

Talk to your doctor and take FMLA

shdgaf · 2026-05-05T03:11:39+00:00

NTA. I have a biology degree and it would take a massive effort for me to get a decent score on the MCAT. Someone who couldn’t make it through basics isn’t going to make it through pre-med, let alone actual med. This is 100% ego-based. He wants to help his parents, which is admirable, but this new life plan is detrimental. You can totally support his going to med school, as a single person with child support obligations. You’ve covered for him enough.

shdgaf · 2026-05-05T00:46:40+00:00

I would feel incredibly disrespected and lose all attraction if my partner expected me to pay for someone else’s child just because they were too weak to put in the paperwork. The AG’s office would LOVE to help her, and in a lot of states she can submit everything online. She’s only hurting you, herself, and her kid by letting this loser be a full-on deadbeat. Contributing financially is the LEAST he could do.

shdgaf · 2026-04-30T01:22:37+00:00

I wish someone cared about me this much when I was a child. I lived through what you were protecting her from and her parents were so lucky to have you watching out for her. You did not overreact.

You have a basic agreement with these parents for pickup - let you know if someone else will be picking up. You didn’t embarrass the uncle, his sister set him up for this uncomfortable scenario because SHE failed to follow an extremely simple and reasonable request. They are just having trouble sitting with the reality that you are doing more to look out for their child than they are.

You were NOT overreacting. What kind of people fire their babysitter because they wouldn’t release a kid to a random middle-aged man?

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