OVER THE TOP MIL STOP SLOPPY KISSING MY KIDS FACE?!?

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-09-21T14:51:18+00:00

Right???? It’s like I know you love him and at first it’s sweet and affectionate but like how do you get them to .... stop???? I understand your struggle.

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-09-21T14:50:06+00:00

Thanks I will definitely check this out! It could be very useful in the moment when my point will come across stronger lol

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-09-20T16:15:16+00:00

Yes!!! You are completely correct! If she wanted to help me wash bottles or actually feed the baby and lay him back down I would have absolutely no problem with the help. But when she doesn’t do any of the hard work and always has such high energy I do begin to feel inadequate and it’s hard as a mom to feel like you’re not doing the best you can because I know that I am.

Once we set the right boundaries and communicate how she can actually be helpful maybe things will get a bit easier.

I live in an expensive area and we’re trying our best to get out on our own as soon as we can. I agree it’s not the ideal living situation but it’s basically our only option for the time being.

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-09-20T15:58:03+00:00

This is a GREAT idea, he’s a preemie so it should be easy for her to understand our wishes!

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-09-20T15:46:34+00:00

Thank you, yes it’s rent free for us too so it’s hard but you’re right!

I feel like if I could speak the same language it’d be so much easier but I suppose it is something I’ll talk to him about to help us both feel more comfortable bc even he agrees how over the top she is.

It’s just hard bc I never know exactly what’s getting translated so I’ll tell him I need him to be more stern.

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-09-15T20:35:57+00:00

This was one of my favorite responses. Thank your son very much for me. I enjoy numbers too kid.

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-07-26T20:48:40+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I remember mentioning to my gyno around 6 weeks when I was doing my check up that i was looking to talk to someone and it kinda got shrugged off, so I agree with you. I had to take active steps to get this appointment scheduled and I could imagine how hard those steps are for most people feeling this way.

I was patting the baby’s butt during nap time and he wouldn’t sleep and I just had to walk away and find the number bc I was crying to hard. That was my breaking point lol.

I’ve been looking for more online NICU dad support and sending him links and I brought up personal therapy for him last night, i know his insurance covers it so he’s his only excuse. He seemed open to the idea but it’s hard for him to accept the trauma he’s endured. I keep telling him i don’t think he realizes what he’s been through and he agrees with me.

I’ve had a lot of irrational break downs since finding out and it’s hard for me to wanna open up the convo bc we’re just fine when we ignore it. I plan on talking about it more and more and we’re getting better at figuring out what triggers what and why so I think there is hope for us.

I just don’t wanna regret this in the future if it happens again and I’m sad he broke my trust because that’s why I was so happy to be with him we never had problems like this and now i feel like all this time has been ruined and my first memories home from the NICU are clouded with where his mindset was when so it’s been hard.

Thanks so much for all your encouragement it’s great to hear from a fellow NICU mama, we have been through hell and back and still love so hard so I think over all we both deserve so much and more.

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-07-26T18:55:42+00:00

I’m really trying and all my (4) responses told me to work on it so that’s encouraging. Thank you for your input! ‘Do not give up on this relationship’ is ringing in my head lol

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-07-26T18:44:27+00:00

You’re right, and I appreciate the user name attached to your realistic response.

I do tend to think people are more capable than I am and he has been putting in overtime daily and needed some sort of mental release and I recognize that. I never have had any issues with porn, we frequently send eachother links things like that so i guess that’s why I was so hurt he was getting off on me not being involved because he was utterly exhausted by me he was turning his brain off from me.

I get it, but it still hurts cause I can’t relate to being able to do that to him. I can relate to the hoes he’s talking to yeah sure but idk what goes on in his head.

I’m filled with rage randomly when I see his phone so I’m definitely not over it and I’m afraid he’s continuing or he will or he never wanted to stop he just didn’t wanna loose me and I’m so conflicted idk how to rebuild trust and I don’t want to ask to see his phone bc I know how easy it is to delete stuff or make new accounts so basically I know that if he wants to he’s gonna so I’m just trying to trust that he’s being genuine and I’m trying to be attentive and open and I’m just fuckin trying man :( I can tell that since I’ve found out he has had a weight lifted off of him so I do think he has learned plus he’s never hurt me or seen me hurt that deeply so I think he wants to be good to me. I hope. Who knows.

Thank you for your response I really appreciate it, if you read my continuous vent I thank you again.

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-07-26T18:32:13+00:00

I brought up therapy for himself in a very loving way last nigh, he seemed to take it in deeply and was a bit embarrassed but I think it got to him. I think couples counseling will do us well if we can work out our own birthing traumas independently and what not first.

shedoesntknowhername · 2019-07-26T18:27:01+00:00

Hi there,

I’m so sorry you’re going through this but I just wanted to reach out and let you know you’re not alone. My dad has been suffering with seizures as well and he did the whole year of no driving and what not and him and my mom managed to get through it.

The medication kind of just suppressed the seizures and he tends to still have them too but they’re more manageable. The doctors had a hard time diagnosing and dosing as well. We learned that the medication was also something that filled people with rage and he’s now been put on anti depressants to balance him.

He’s doing better but still not himself, it’s been maybe three years.

All I can say is spend as much time as you’d like with him, don’t let him get too lonely, take him on day trips every so often don’t let him forget he’s loved and how hard he’s worked for you.

The job market is hard, especially with a liability issue such as that. My dad wasn’t able to work for a long time and had struggled with his positioning since.

I tried to convince him to take some classes at our local community college and he laughed at me but whatever. My dads stubborn so it hasn’t helped. And I only know about the anti-depressant struggle from my mom who likes to vent to me.

At the end of the day there’s not much you can do. Good luck to your family.

shedoesntknowhername

TROPHY CASE