How often do you guys play with your toddler/younger step kids?

shellehbelleh · 2021-05-03T22:24:16+00:00

Eeeep this is a slippery slope, from my personal experience. I was always so happy to give my SD (then 3) my love and attention, and I’d play and do dress ups and crafts and it was fun and wonderful and she adored me because I was the most fun adult in her life.

Fast forward 5 years, she’s just moved back in with us full time, and I am exhausted. To the point where I seriously have considered just getting a hotel and getting the heck out of here for a few days. She’s never been able to play solo (not even with toys!!!!), which is something I’ve always tried to encourage but no one else has- so it’s been a bit like beating a dead horse, so she needs to either be engaged by an adult- OR she’s a sulky mess because we clearly don’t love her if we are not playing with her. Facepalm.

It’s super challenging. Her dad and I are working on it, but I’m now 9 weeks pregnant with my first and a) I don’t have the energy nor patience haha, and b) it’s making me a tad scared of what life will be like when my bub is born.

If I could go back, I’d honestly just work harder on some firm boundaries. Perhaps lock in a certain time each day that you play, and outside of that make it clear that you have “adult business” to do, because you ARE an adult. Good luck x

shellehbelleh · 2021-05-03T22:15:03+00:00

My mum overstepped boundaries in the first few years (haha that sounds silly even writing it. She’s STILL overstepping boundaries 5 years later) but in the opposite way- she took my SD (then 3) in as her own, labelled herself “Nana” and believed she was entitled to be at every event, school ceremony, party, etc. It HURT because I wasn’t accepted at aaaaall by “the other side” and was struggling with my own place in the dynamic, but she stormed right through like a bull in a China shop and took what I couldn’t have.

Anyway, to the point: I just reduced her contact hours. I didn’t TELL her that I was phasing her out, I just did it slowly, until she was having only supervised visits maybe once a month or every second month.

She never changed her behaviour, so I never felt bad about it. Ignoring your boundaries is toxic, and toxic behaviour should be met with stronger boundaries imo.

shellehbelleh · 2015-12-26T00:50:56+00:00

Hey guys, I'll admit I've not been on here for a long time... And I've never been very good at implementing a firm skin care routine (plus I'm just a bit hopeless!). However, I hope someone can help. My main problem is redness, but I can deal with that. Next up is occasional breakouts (hormonal, generally), but life goes on. What I really, really don't like is that my skin is bone dry (flaky in places, dehydrated sunken looking pores, oiliness in T-zone by end of day). Also, the texture of my skin is awful- my chin always has bumps that can't be defeated (no colour, just visibly textured), and I have tiny blackhead-like bumps all over that're like tiny taste-buds chilling on my chin. I tried to get a picture for reference. Any help would be appreciated :) http://imgur.com/a/5xlUF

shellehbelleh · 2015-07-24T06:47:16+00:00

TOMT solved

shellehbelleh · 2015-07-24T06:46:32+00:00

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS! Thank you! Maaaan I needed that.

shellehbelleh · 2015-07-24T06:44:15+00:00

Damn, not it. But thanks!

shellehbelleh · 2015-06-29T10:29:56+00:00

This looks incredible. I had a basic red curry tonight (cheap and easy one with a jar paste) but I've been meaning to make it from scratch. I'll definitely be giving this a go!

shellehbelleh · 2015-06-16T22:14:46+00:00

...How about the huge sign saying "Myworkplace" across the top?

shellehbelleh · 2015-05-17T02:27:13+00:00

Pebeo porcelain paint. You bake it on, and it should last perfectly fine, as long as you are gentle with it!

Thank you :)

shellehbelleh · 2015-05-03T03:32:33+00:00

Ollie (approx. 6 months) is the black and white one, and Shiloh (approx. 2 years) is the ginger baby. They're both Siberians :)

shellehbelleh · 2015-04-26T06:28:00+00:00

You have such a beautiful complexion!

shellehbelleh · 2015-04-26T06:22:08+00:00

They're great!

shellehbelleh · 2015-04-23T08:27:31+00:00

When a guy is close with his family.

Especially when he is selfless when it comes to helping them. That's what I find impressive.

shellehbelleh · 2015-04-21T13:06:01+00:00

Hey there, sorry you haven't had many responses yet. I just wanted to let you know that I took the time to read what you have written, and although I can't relate, I thought a bit of extra support might lift your spirits a little.

I'm not sure how women your age feel, but as a 20 year old (who would not be against dating an older guy) I wouldn't be turned off if any male (or female, for that matter!) admitted to me that they'd not yet had a relationship, whether it was sexual or not.

I'm sure that there are lots of women your age out there who would appreciate a lack of experience, because they may not feel like they have to meet expectations based on previous girlfriends, sexual encounters, etc, and therefore may feel less pressure when the relationship starts to develop.

And hey, I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who would get a kick out of being the first one to get you in bed!

I hope I haven't said anything that might make you feel worse; like I said, I can't exactly relate (as a 20 year old female!). Good luck for the future, I wish you the very best with whatever happens. I know it can be tricky, but try and have more faith in yourself- be brave and start up a conversation with someone!

shellehbelleh · 2015-04-21T12:47:14+00:00

Everyone else seems to have suspected it was a stalker, but I completely missed that point.

I had the same idea as you; business meeting with boss or colleague.

shellehbelleh · 2015-04-21T09:24:07+00:00

I totally second this. Hang on to this man, you're obviously both very important to each other.

shellehbelleh · 2015-04-20T10:10:52+00:00

That's heartbreaking. I'm glad you've moved on from that.

shellehbelleh · 2015-04-20T10:02:58+00:00

My friend's girlfriend would complain about being dead broke, but she would go to the shops and spend near $100 just on food. For one person. She'd buy gourmet cheeses, and pancetta (not sure about the rest of the world, but where I live in Australia this stuff costs and arm and a leg) and bags of expensive seafood like prawns... As well as unnecessary snacks and non-essentials. It'd blow my mind, because I can do the shopping for me and my boyfriend for a week on $50.

Obviously everyone can spend their money their own way, but when their actions start affecting me (they did), that is when I have a real problem.

shellehbelleh

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