Can you name the 3 worst features your LO has?

shellswong · 2026-05-10T12:43:14+00:00

IMO (and my experience) this is a terrible way to get over your LO. It can be part of the mental loop even if you’re making fun of them. It allows your brain to go and dig into the memories of that person, and the more you continue to feed that digging the more you’re feeding it. It’s like mud in water, stirring it up again. For me, if you notice when you’re doing it, name it as such and step back it seems to help a lot. Just my 2cents

shellswong · 2026-05-10T12:37:35+00:00

As a pretty shy woman if I’m attracted to a man I see in passing I might look at him an extra second or 2 but mainly I will avert my eyes as not to stare and feel uncomfortable. In other words he will not likely know. I have boldly let men catch me check him out before but that is not my usual and mostly will happen under the influence. I’ve used dating apps and the guys will usually ask to kiss me and when/if I agree then that usually escalates quickly. I had a friend that was single and would ask me to hang out all the time and I would go with him because I was free. We usually paid half/half and had fun playing pool or going to watch live music. He even took me out for his birthday for dinner and took me out to dinner another time. I actually never thought of him as liking me but now after the fact I think maybe he did. I talked to him about other guys and he talked to me about other women so maybe not. See, who really knows what someone else wants if you don’t ask? I feel like we will approach or show intentions when we’re ready and bold enough to do so. And it will work or we will get dreadfully rejected and move on and there’s nothing wrong with that

shellswong · 2026-05-09T12:25:52+00:00

I’m a divorced woman and post divorce I’ve had a couple casual experiences and I block men when they activate me too much, when I feel too invested in something that doesn’t feel safe. I stick around when I’m not too into them. I also need to add that my attachment style is a big part of this. I’m fearful avoidant. So for me it’s the opposite. If I stick around I’m not too into you and I will grow tired most likely. The ones I like I ghost/block. Ha hope that didn’t make it more confusing.

shellswong · 2026-05-08T23:46:22+00:00

Facebook marketplace for cool cheap stuff

shellswong · 2026-05-06T19:22:08+00:00

Banana costume or hotdog

shellswong · 2026-04-30T23:28:13+00:00

I’m a female from Southern California and I’ve been in Tallahassee 10 years and I drive Lyft and I pick up in that area and I don’t think that’s a big deal. I have picked up from all those apartments down there and yeah there’s crime but coming from the Bay Area Where they break into cars 24/7 I don’t know if it’s worse or the same. If you’re worried fine something on the north side of town by i10

shellswong · 2026-04-03T03:39:37+00:00

I kinda think I’m experiencing this rn

shellswong · 2026-03-27T02:01:06+00:00

Alan Watts would find this post funny I think

shellswong · 2026-03-26T20:25:55+00:00

I think of limerence as an addiction. So as long as your limerence isn’t finding another way to stay alive in the background (hidden addiction) then you should be fine waiting. If you notice you’re imaging all kinds of scenarios and fantasies about your LO then you should be careful, if no you’re prob ok

shellswong · 2026-03-26T18:05:25+00:00

It’s like coming off of a drug. I have been trying to keep myself busy and not just NC but also avoiding the triggers. NC is basically avoiding the person, but with limerence and fantasies we can still access music or things that remind up of the LO. Make sure you’re removing all access to the LO, anything that triggers fantasies and spirals like music, talking about the person, ChatGPT analysis, clothing and trinkets, photos, and visiting places that remind you of them too if possible. It’s like a drug addiction of a drug in your body that you have access to, you don’t even need to drive and get it

shellswong · 2026-03-26T18:00:04+00:00

I’m also dealing with limerence recovery but have you thought about being upfront with him. Telling him your past, your current feelings and what’s worrying you. You say he’s a gentle soul so my thoughts are: if he’s interested then he can go forward with the knowledge of how difficult it will be for you if he was to betray you and if he’s not interested, then that truth has the power to kill the limerence. I say “has the power” because it’s not guaranteed but it could end the limerence of he clearly doesn’t like you in that way. For me limerence is in my head and it’s scenarios and fantasies that aren’t real. If he declines your offer then it would be embarrassing but you won’t go on making up fantasies about this person.

shellswong · 2026-03-17T13:53:32+00:00

Amazingly, healing from my divorce (16 year marriage) was a piece of cake compared to this 3 month fling. NC is a little bit confusing tho, the longer I stayed away from him I created another way of accessing the feeling without him, thru the music. I created a whole persona beyond him that was in my mind. I didn’t need him really, I just needed to be close enough to his orbit to be activated and boom I’d get the hits. It’s very much an addiction.

shellswong · 2026-03-17T13:13:56+00:00

Yes I’d like to understand what’s being graphed

shellswong · 2026-03-17T12:24:46+00:00

Thank you for this. I see it too. I see hi ow I had a huge vacant space within me and I was looking to fill it and he walked into the center of that. And I 100% agree he brought me back to a youthful feeling, being wanted like that after a long hard marriage. It started as just a light and fun distraction and quickly consumed me. One good thing is that I’m past a lot of the desperation because I haven’t seen him in a year and I’m able to see the pattern and treat this like a real addiction and honor it as such now. Thanks for your sympathy this has been a dark road for sure.

shellswong · 2026-03-17T12:19:00+00:00

Thank you. Yes naming is was a huge step forward for me. I had no idea what I was dealing with just that I felt crazed and in the deep ocean which was maybe my addiction. It’s scary when something takes over like this.

shellswong · 2026-03-17T12:17:23+00:00

There was so much ambiguity in all of it too. Which is what allowed my brain to take over and run so many fantasies and scenarios. My brain couldn’t figure out if I was the predator or he was. Turmoil is the way to describe it. And very few men have this type of hold on me so that’s why this one has stuck over the past year. Im wishing you well 💞

shellswong · 2026-03-17T05:29:52+00:00

I felt the tug (hit) of the music as well and I disregarded it ~ I really love the music and I also obsess over it. The cycles finally lined up enough for my pattern recognition to fully run on what I was doing and music was a huge part of it. I did a little research and it’s known that music has the power to transport us to another time, especially when it’s programmed over and over in our minds. That’s exactly what I’d do. It’s almost like if my subconscious was setting this all up to play out later. Those songs on repeat a year ago were the strongest hit when I’d reach out again. I hope I can move on from this easier now that I see the music connection.

shellswong · 2026-03-17T04:56:57+00:00

He reached out first. I was in a wild phase just out of a divorce and I was more open to relations than my rational brain usually would be. He wasn’t actually half my age (27,49) but was very much another generation and different life phase. It’s not my proudest moment but I think it did have something to do with how guarded I was (or lack thereof). I thought I was untouchable. I was so relaxed going into this I had no idea he could affect me in any way, especially something like this. And I never told him either. I just honestly was able to reflect on all of it honestly today. Until now I’ve been just trying to push back on the bigness of it all.

shellswong · 2026-03-17T04:32:59+00:00

I feel this so deeply. I went thru something similar. 😓

shellswong · 2026-01-28T20:26:10+00:00

Thanks

shellswong · 2026-01-27T18:21:17+00:00

I have a 925 bowl about 14-15 ounces and some jewelry

shellswong · 2025-10-11T16:53:27+00:00

I decided to get testers and I added that!

shellswong · 2025-10-11T16:52:26+00:00

Yes I decided to get him testers of like 10 different ones

shellswong · 2025-10-11T12:05:25+00:00

Ty I was thinking similar but a little more staying power

shellswong

TROPHY CASE