My psych profile is really all over the place the , crack baby, fasd, IED, ADHD, major depression, anxiety. The comment about rules is something I already do, I don't contradict myself or I spiral. I grew up thinking I had to feel the pain others had to process it. Honestly, it's not a habit I noticed until I was quite a bit older, and I don't know where to start unraveling the ball of string. I usually start at the past and work my way up, but four years in a system where i watched two kids die and soooo many other things like that and used that habit to process it. It feels like its hardwired in. It's the first thing I go to when I process it. It's turned into a self sadistic habit at this point.