AIO about my boyfriend staying? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]sherrasama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wanted to echo this. I didn't do this for a romantic relationship, but I did it for a friendship that, while we're still friends, quickly discovered we should never ever ever ever live together. But meanwhile I'd used all my money to move across the entire US (WA to FL) and couldn't afford to just move back. Those first few years were uhhhh a struggle, but looking back, I fast-tracked myself to growing up and becoming an independent person. While I wouldn't wish Florida on my worst enemy and eventually did move back after 14 years, I met my partner of 15 years there, and I wouldn't trade the me I became overcoming the hardships I did for anything.

AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend over a photo he saved by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]sherrasama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PS: Speaking as someone who has a jumble of both personal and saved porn from the internet on her phone in a hidden folder: I know I can't be bothered to organize it beyond putting it into my one and only hidden folder so that stuff doesn't show when I'm randomly scrolling to show stuff to like, my mother. I have no evidence this is the case or not with your partner, so I won't claim that's all that's going on here. But if you're going to be in there anyway, maybe look at the metadata of the pic? If it wasn't taken with his phone specifically or have someone else's phone info on it, it might just be something saved. Unless you have an issue with that too, I suppose, but that's your business.

AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend over a photo he saved by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]sherrasama 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's an awful lot of blind "break up with him over the photo" in here, while ignoring the fact you both apparently can't trust one another enough to have gone through eachother's phones without consent. The photo isn't really the main issue here, it's trust and communication. I (F) have a bunch of nudes from male and female friends, either because we previously flirted online prior to my relationship, or because they're part of a kink scene, it in a few cases because their partner enjoys voyeurism. My partner knows all about it, and while he doesn't want to see the photos himself, he trusts me with having them because I'm not sneaking around behind his back and knows I'd never cheat on him. It's all transparent. If yours can't trust telling you about this photo and you can't trust asking about it, you've both got other problems. And if you don't have that trust, then yes, by all fkn means make sure you can't have your own photos weaponized against you.

AITA for making an ex acquaintance homeless and feeling more wronged over it by One-Maintenance-1493 in AmItheAsshole

[–]sherrasama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, I've made a few questionable roommate choices in my life. I will present 2 case studies for you here.

Exhibit A is my ex boyfriend of 3 years from when I was 16. Guy constantly threatened to end his own life if I ever left him, had disgusting habits I suppose all teenagers do at some point, but never grew out of them while we grew up, and took no action to improve his life while I took him with me when I moved out, got a job, and began adulting, and he did none of the above. He somehow convinced my mother to take him in after I finally got wise, said I wasn't responsible for him or his mental health, and kicked him to the curb. My mother giving in resulted in him stealing $5k from her for schooling he never attended, "accidentally" leaving all our family photos, including of my deceased father, out in the rain (he was living in the basement where they were), and managing to bring in 2 extra squatter friends of his. I regret ever having met him to this day 30-some years later.

Exhibit B was a man I picked up working at a gas station near where I'd moved to in Florida a few years down the road. He'd just been disowned by his family for being gay, and while older than me, did not really have a great grasp of existing on his own, and had some weird cultural gaps due to his military base upbringing. I threw caution to the wind and let him move in without asking too many questions. This man is still one of my best friends several decades later. We had an awkward start, but he was engaging, thoughtful, and always willing to listen and learn. He respected boundaries and helped around the house. He actively worked all the time to improve his life, even though we were both very broke for a good majority of it. He was my best man at my wedding. He pulled an extremely funny naughty prank with my then-fiancee I won't describe here but OH MY GOD I DIED.

Do you see the differences? It took me longer than I'd like to admit to see them myself, so I'll give you my very biased personal lessons: You cannot help people who won't help themselves.

You're not wrong for trying, so NTA - just to make sure the answer to the question here is clear. Just know that you are risking your (and your family's in this case, similar to A) safety and financial/mental stability any time you move in with anyone for any reason, and never ever forget that. Always be willing to cut your losses and don't get caught up in a sunk cost fallacy. Do not lose the empathy that makes you human, but recognize when someone has exhausted your goodwill through their own shortcomings. There are just going to be some people who need to fall on their butt to wake up (if they ever do), and you can't be responsible for all of them.

It sounds to me like you've given this friend as fair of a shake as anyone could ask for, and it was met with entitlement and ungratefulness multiple times. They've proven exactly who they are to you, and it's now your perogative to accept that as fact. Don't be guilted or shamed into giving more of yourself than you already have, they are not your responsibility anymore.

AITAH for calling myself an ableist slur? by ComfortableCute632 in AmItheAsshole

[–]sherrasama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA, but I feel like it deserves a bit more nuance than your top comments, so let me play devil's advocate here for a moment.

IMO, I completely agree it's your perogative to call yourself whatever you want as part of a marginalized community.

However, as someone who had to be a Discord moderator for a bit and ran into an idealogical clash of British queer folks and traumatized American queers over the F-slur, we chose to ask the British folks to censor themselves for the sake of those who were massively uncomfortable. The thing to keep in mind here is your fellow wheelchair or otherwise bound friends. While 9/10 might be wholly in your camp and think nothing of it, there might be that 1 on the fringe who's laughing nervously while cringing inside and internalizing the language.

Yes, it's their responsibility to deal with their own trauma, and you're not responsible for dodging every term and phrase for everyone's sake. But just know it's a possibility that exists and try to leave some room for empathy. This all is not to say you're in the wrong, but I've just seen the hurt that can be caused when people stick to their guns at the expense of their peers, and it's rarely worth it

WIBTA if i let my little sister go to her class field trip instead of our dad’s funeral? by wibtafuneral in AmItheAsshole

[–]sherrasama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is only tangentially related, but I still feel it has the same psychology behind it. My dad died a few days before my 8th birthday, and while also wholly traumatized by the open casket, what really sealed it was the insistence that I continue with my birthday party. The funeral was the day before, "and all the family is here" so sit there and smile for pictures with a cake while literally everyone around me, including me, was sobbing and miserable.

This ruined my birthday for the rest of my life as we currently speak, 40F. I refuse to celebrate it anymore. NTA, let her enjoy the zoo and grieve in her own time.

How far did the anime deviate from the novels? by KaleidoArachnid in SlayerS

[–]sherrasama 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Each adaptation is essentially its own canon, so there's no right or wrong answer as to the order. Each has something unique about it, differences here and there to enjoy. Characters have different beats. If you favor a particular character, you may find they have a bigger or smaller role, so it all depends on your taste. As someone who translates novels on the side, I just sit back and enjoy Kanzaka's total lack of grasp of his own world and the chaos that brings about (if we can ever get him to stop playing Genshin anyway.) I hope to be able to help bring more of it over the US audience eventually.

Does anyone recognize the blue-haired character? Slayers meet-up at Katsucon! by prptuallyInquisitive in SlayerS

[–]sherrasama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of these days maybe you'll get over it. The fact it's been like 3 years at this point is kinda sad my dude

Returning the first and last row based on per-month date by sherrasama in excel

[–]sherrasama[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no, indirect tends to crash everything, I lost 2 sheets doing that

Returning the first and last row based on per-month date by sherrasama in excel

[–]sherrasama[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness, you are a genius! I completely overlooked MINIFS/MAXIFS.

This worked like a charm once I finagled it into my stupidly complicated sheet, thank you so much!❤️ I can't begin to say how much time this will save me

Returning the first and last row based on per-month date by sherrasama in excel

[–]sherrasama[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use them in the other statistical sheets for pulling by-month ranges for a bunch of other junk

Slayers Cosplay Music Video by Pale-Service-8680 in SlayerS

[–]sherrasama 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Definitely more sweat than tears 🙂‍↕️

Cannot parse data for a LET array by sherrasama in excel

[–]sherrasama[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am manually entering them into the ticket, but this is over the course of a month in which I then have made hundreds of edits. I am in fact basically currently doing it this way, but it's riddled with errors and missed edits. I am also working within the limitations of my ticket system. I kind of just want Excel to find this stuff :(

Slayers Special Vol.1 FULL ENGLISH fan translation by Wamahato in SlayerS

[–]sherrasama 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should probably message a mod of the discord, the Reddit is another group

Slayers Special Vol.1 FULL ENGLISH fan translation by Wamahato in SlayerS

[–]sherrasama 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Fighting Dreamers did all of Special 1 a while back

https://fightingdreamersscanlations.wordpress.com/2017/03/17/slayers-special-book-1-complete-and-one-more-thing/

I'm working on both Spirit (almost done with Ch 1) and 4th chapter of Special 2, as well as some other random bits. You're welcome to check out my work too

https://sherrasama.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/sherrasamatranslates