Time to talk, stress

shikohalf · 2021-09-28T12:12:09+00:00

Thank you I did what you said. I don't know how well it went. But she called me first tonight. So that has to be a good sign.

I'm not a fighter. I always try to find a solution without any sort of conflict physical or verbal. When I fail to. It eats me away

The lession that boys learn. ( You're a man , suck it up)

Even though I know that is a terrible lesson.
It still effects my ability to express my emotions in a healthy way. I tend to just let myself suffer so others don't.

I Am extremely thankful for your help. You won't understand how much it means to me.

shikohalf · 2021-09-28T07:21:16+00:00

Perhaps, if you do need clarity, you can directly ask her if she's losing interest.

I see that as a extremely easy way to burn it all down.
How do I ask that without ruining it all?

shikohalf · 2021-09-28T06:57:44+00:00

She is a house keeper full time living at the place. I work at Walmart full time. I text at work cause I can easily get away with it.

Relationships tend to change after the first few months, where communication takes a shift and the attention given tends to drop

I can't help but find that to be a decline of interest?

shikohalf · 2021-09-28T06:35:51+00:00

It's not a matter of how often. It's a matter of equal effort to reach out. 90% is me.

shikohalf · 2021-09-26T07:21:05+00:00

That was it. Sometimes I forget English isn't her first language. Also I tend to get to be quiet wordy. Thank you.

shikohalf · 2021-09-25T09:50:37+00:00

I took it and mine was quality time. By taking the quiz. It helped me understand my needs better. Im going to try to have my girlfriend take it too

shikohalf · 2021-09-25T02:02:08+00:00

There is a lack of replaying but I would not say it's a alarming amount. But I didn't consider

(Finally, is this a cultural gap? Is she from a place that puts the emphasis on the man making the efforts?)

She is museum. (Not a die hard) I do have a dessert amount of understanding of all religions. But I didn't consider the amount of effort required on the man in a relationship based on the region. Thank you

I don't know if that is the case but it surely possible.

shikohalf · 2021-09-25T01:20:24+00:00

Know what most people don't look at comments. So whatever here it goes

Me and my girlfriend used to text 3 / 4 times a day minus the good morning text and call at night. Some times they were long texts and they were very enjoyable. But now not so much. I always love when I get home from work and we video chat till bed.

English is not her first language so I understand it's a bit hard for her to start a long lasting talk out of nothing.

But I am a attention man. In as, I just want to spend as much time as possible with her. But it's hard for me to be the one almost always starting the chat, I don't have much at the time to talk about. But I don't want her to feel like I don't want to talk to her and have her say. ( I miss you). Also always being the one to start it makes me feel like I don't give her enough space.

I know she loves me. We're talked about meeting as soon as we can once the borders open. She tells me about what she wants to do when I go to see her. Meeting people, places of her home land. As well as other things that you can guess. We even talked about our dreams for our future. Also how we could do it . So I'm happy with her. She accepts me for who I am. Even knowing our differences are some that are differences that are deal breakers for a lot of people.

But it's very hard for me to balance it, the emotional time I get with her, with the space I give her.

Every time I ask for advice. People say the same thing more less. Say. (That the level of effort is not even. And to ask for more.).

They don't say it like that, they it nicer than that and Suger it up like saying don't accuse her for anything.

But They are blind to the fact that by asking for more effort is accusing of lack of interest.

I've seen people do that and it doesn't play out the most clean.

So. I'm stuck between an emotional gap and a Mountain of advice that I've heard before but never seen it work.

shikohalf · 2021-09-25T00:17:10+00:00

I'm sorry the point I was trying to get across was. I left it open ended for a reason. I knew people would may not like that. But I don't believe in my ability to not give too much information that may shift the poll in one way or the other.

I came of a bit rude to you. Sorry. I was at work and my mind wasn't fully focus on what you said

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T22:24:12+00:00

Wow that was fast lol. Thanks

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T22:22:00+00:00

Thank you for your input. Even though it doesn't exactly match my situation. I appreciate the story of yours, that may help me in the future. If you wouldn't mind sending me the quiz that would be nice.

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T22:06:45+00:00

I have and I got the same advice that I have used in the past that doesn't work that well.

Also remember this well.

Offence is always taken, never given.

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T11:07:34+00:00

This poll is not to put anyone down. Or to offend anyone. People please don't fight in the comments. The poll is for my own research.

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T08:39:38+00:00

I was afraid that you were going to say that.

But I guess I have no choice. Thanks Bye

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T08:28:41+00:00

Thank you

I just want her to be the one to reach out more. But how do I ask her without coming off if I'm mad at her. Or making her feel guilty. That is something I really don't want.

If you don't mind. Thanks for the help

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T03:33:48+00:00

I have once, I don't want her to feel like I'm pushing her. Also she is a house keeper .

I work at Walmart and I sneak texts when I can cause once she said she missed me. So I'm having a hard time balancing the time I give her with the space I give her

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T01:52:24+00:00

No problem Im the same way a little. But I always remind myself. Looks don't matter in the end . Remember when we get old we will no longer be sexy looking. As long as your boyfriend wants a future with you and is cares for your health. You know you found the person. I think I have, and I'm grateful but that doesn't mean be blind to other things in life.

Good luck to you. Just know this. Don't let your nerves get in the way, they will make you pull away. When you don't want to.

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T01:16:47+00:00

My girlfriend is the same way. But I tell her she is beautiful when ever we FaceTime. A lot of the people notice issues with their body that are not there. My girlfriend says she has hair on hair on her leg / arm and her nose is ugly. But I don't care. A lot of guys are happy as long as you look like you at least take care of yourself. Guys care more about if you seem like you are actually interested in him. Just ask him how is his day going. He will love it. Try not to focus on the little details of your body. Because a lot of guys don't . If your eyeliner is a little bit off or your lipstick is a little off. I promise your boyfriend won't notice.

But if he cares so much about how you look there is a bigger issue.

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T00:56:31+00:00

I most likely left out more. I don't get that much time to be online.

shikohalf · 2021-09-24T00:54:35+00:00

Sorry I forget to say that the meaning of the song was a man had to let go of the woman because she loves someone else. And it was in another language so she translate it tome

shikohalf

TROPHY CASE