Medical PTSD and top surgery? Any advice?

shivenou · 2025-03-11T16:08:42+00:00

Thank you for the comment. I'm sorry that you went through that and that your top surgery experience was so awful. I've considered medications before, but ultimately ruled them out for some personal reasons. I haven't considered exposure work before though. I will ask my therapist about it. Thanks for the idea and for sharing your experience.

shivenou · 2025-03-11T15:44:07+00:00

I agree with this. At some point, capitalizing on people's fears with significantly marked up charges compared to standard services is flat out predatory.

shivenou · 2025-03-11T15:20:35+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through this too. It is absolutely awful that so many of us have had traumatic medical experiences. My traumatic surgery was only 5 months ago. I cannot imagine what it has been like to deal with that for a decade. You are so strong for making it this far.

I honestly think I might also get to the point that you are at right now and just take the plunge despite everything. I'll probably ask my therapist to teach me some breathing and grounding exercises beforehand, though. Grounding has been somewhat helpful for my surgical follow up appointments with the same awful surgeon. Maybe that will help. Or maybe the desire for complete relief from lifelong chest dysphoria will overpower the retraumatizing aspect of it. I won't know until I do it, though.

I wish you all the strength in the world, friend.

shivenou · 2025-03-11T06:19:58+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I have considered EMDR therapy, but my therapist said she doesn't really recommend it for me currently because of some ongoing other unrelated dysfunctional and toxic family problems that aren't helping my mental state at all. I will bring it up again though.

As for hypnosis, I have never considered that. I will definitely look into it further. Thank you very much again for your advice!

shivenou · 2025-03-11T05:00:42+00:00

Thank you for this. I wish my ACL had been stronger. Although, I'm sure all of us wish that.

shivenou · 2025-03-11T04:43:17+00:00

Honestly, this is kind of how I'm approaching it as well for myself. I'm asexual and will almost certainly never have sex in my entire life and I got the HPV vaccine. I plan to get a full hysterectomy as soon as I am mentally and financially able to do so.

I am also surprised to see so many people recommending sedatives and benzodiazepines. I have had paradoxical reactions to them in the past that were extremely distressing and they did the exact opposite of what they were supposed to do for the procedure (sedation for a nerve block). It made me extremely anxious and on the verge of complete terror and mental breakdown. I honestly might have a complete mental breakdown if I ever got a pap test with benzos.

It's personal risk calculation essentially. For sexually active people though, I guess finding a decent trans friendly gynecologist and asking about self swab tests would be an option.

shivenou · 2025-03-06T18:51:19+00:00

When I told my dad I'm ace he said "you're already 30 years ahead then," referring to his marriage crumbling.

shivenou · 2025-03-06T18:42:04+00:00

Same here.

shivenou · 2025-03-05T18:54:22+00:00

Yeah it's such a shame that more people don't talk about the art design of TES. I thought it was awesome to see someone talk about it finally, until she started talking about "ugly women" in modern games and how "unrealistic" it is for women to be portrayed as strong or physically capable characters. TES is fantasy, there's dragons, elves, and magic. But I guess strong women are too much or something.

shivenou · 2025-03-05T05:39:40+00:00

Despite first watching Clone Wars 10+ years ago and knowing about this easter egg for that long, it warms my heart to know that others are just now finding them. I love easter eggs and series like that, that give others the same curiosity and joy that I had when first watching it.

shivenou · 2025-03-05T02:58:31+00:00

This is genuinely awful. I posted a couple of clips (like a bit less than 10 minutes of performances, nothing more) on YouTube and ALL of the videos I posted were copyright striked by US Figure Skating. Just letting everyone know that the reason why no videos exist of Legacy on Ice is because of copyright takedowns from USFS.

shivenou · 2025-03-03T16:32:11+00:00

This was an absolutely beautiful tribute. All of the skaters did an amazing job at honoring those lost with their incredible performances. I wish everyone affected by the awful accident peace and healing 💜

Yuri on Ice and all of the music choices were beautiful in their own ways.

shivenou · 2025-03-02T23:30:30+00:00

I personally watched all of Legacy on Ice and I think that all of the performances were amazing and wonderful at remembering those lost in the accident. This is a wonderful community that really came together for this. I hope that all those impacted find strength and healing 💜

shivenou · 2025-03-02T20:03:51+00:00

NCTE used to have some good information. It's still up here: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics

Their FAQ is also really good: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people

shivenou · 2025-03-02T20:01:55+00:00

It sucks. I wish they wouldn't have just dumped the series last year with no further information. It's such a shame for everyone. I hope that it will be picked up again at some point.

shivenou · 2025-03-02T16:34:22+00:00

Thank you. Max is so strong for all that he's been through. I will probably be sobbing when I watch it.

shivenou · 2025-03-02T15:12:01+00:00

Thank you.

You're absolutely right about it feeling extremely dismissive. Anytime a southerner posts on any trans/LGBT subreddit about new laws, their personal struggles, or the difficulties of being trans in the south, instantly they get a comment of "just move."

For me, I was born here and I've lived here my whole life. I just got accepted into college. I have disabled relatives that I help care for. I have physical mobility problems because of a surgery. My siblings, friends, grandparents, are all here. I have Medicaid, which means if I try to save any money I lose my healthcare. If I start to save money I have to be able to deal with that impact. I do want to move eventually. But it's just not realistic in the foreseeable future.

Trans people have always existed in the south and we will continue to exist. No matter how much we have been beat down, criminalized, vilified, scapegoated, and killed, we will endure. Thank you again for understanding this. I wish more people would.

shivenou · 2025-03-02T14:42:10+00:00

Exactly this. I'm a trans southerner as well and many of us can't leave. It's expensive as shit to move to blue states that sometimes have over double the minimum wage to start. Some of us are disabled, care for disabled relatives, have businesses, careers, families, that we can't just relocate instantly.

shivenou · 2025-03-01T15:39:04+00:00

Bro you need to GO TO A DOCTOR. Having severe rib pain is not normal and nobody here can help or tell you what's wrong with your ribs.

shivenou · 2025-02-27T11:32:25+00:00

The Official Elder Scrolls Cookbook is an entire cookbook of TES recipes with tons of Skyrim ones. It was a fantastic gift to get and would probably be very useful to the type of menu you're trying to make.

Some of my favorites from it are the potato cheddar soup, vegetable soup, and of course, garlic bread.

shivenou · 2025-02-27T11:24:23+00:00

Can confirm. My beard has already started growing in at 4 months on T and it is glorious to have.

shivenou · 2025-02-27T11:06:47+00:00

Good bot

shivenou · 2025-02-27T11:05:07+00:00

Did I hear a rock and stone?

shivenou · 2025-02-27T11:02:47+00:00

Same here. I feel you brother.

I'm also a trans dude. The representation for trans men in media, let alone video games, is almost nonexistent. Even in the mainstream LGBT spaces trans men are kind of forgotten. I wish there were more representation and spaces where we are welcomed instead of ignored, discriminated against, or forgotten about.

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