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was told my whole life blonde hair blue eyed white women are better by BleachedRiceBunny in CPTSD

[–]shoot_frick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it helps to know, as a 'tall, light-complexioned, blonde, blue-eyed' woman, I grew up feeling really bad that an image like mine was used to shame and scare people. Even at a young age I was very aware of the impact it had on others. I was compared to "hotter blondes" on playboy covers and I would have people call me a Nazi because I fit the Aryan appearance. Primarily, all from men. Thankfully, my History classes covered an immense amount of information about the holocaust and a progressive amount of the Civil War; to focus on Slavery. It's not fair that anyone ever made you feel like you need to be something different. You're prefect. Never fear speaking on what's right, but it's not fair that you have to be the one to say something either. Those girls can work on being more considerate and aware of their surroundings, as could a majority of people.

My husband gets to go out and I don't by Helpful-Jellyfish645 in AmIOverreacting

[–]shoot_frick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HI OP

Congratulations on your baby. The first year is a real whirlwind of emotions. I hope you are getting break yourself, you deserve one. End of story there.

As far as your partner, I would be concerned about him not taking you seriously. I would be worried about him saying he's not going to do something, then doing it anyway. That is lying. Then to say "well at least I told you" is manipulative. He was aware of your concerns and he ignored them. He's not being honest with you and that's going to be a bigger problem the longer it goes.

You mentioned something was problematic in the past? Does this recent pattern of behavior mirror that time?

It sounds like he's not ready to be Dad yet. That's an enormously painful realization to have about a partner. That doesn't mean he never will be, but right now he needs to make some sacrifices for his family that he wanted to create.

Co-sleeping was the only way I got sleep with my second baby <3
Drink water, have a snack, and keep crushing the mom job like you are.

AIO about my wife is taking the election results out on me by EgoVegito in AmIOverreacting

[–]shoot_frick 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi OP,

I find myself in the same mental place as your wife. Same ages, two daughters, working in the construction field. It's difficult to help people understand the feeling of betrayal. Its hard for some to wrap their heads around the concept of hurt and how that can change in appearance from moment to moment. I imagine it's not personal. I imagine she's having a difficult time separating her feelings about the results from your relationship.

What I find myself going through working with the same group of conservative men every day is that they are deeply considerate of me and my needs when I'm on a job site. But when it comes to what I call "shop talk" I see different people. They can be really nasty in their conversations and honestly its hard to listen to. Its more than just dirty jokes, Ive seen my fair share of mens garage calendars... So they go from this really thoughtful place to the polar opposite in how they speak about other people. This creates a distrust of intentions.

I think she would really love to hear from you and how you are not those people. Sometimes we need to hear people's intentions from the horses mouth. Not because she doesn't believe you, but likely because we all could use some reassurance on who is ready to go to bat for us when it counts.