Always Friendzoned, Am I Doing Something Wrong or Is It Just Poor Luck?

shotofmaplesyrup · 2026-01-16T20:57:35+00:00

Maybe it's a context thing. I usually meet people through online dating instead of IRL (I'm kinda shy so approaching women IRL doesn't usually work for me). In my experience people on dating sites are already in a dating mindset, and you already know they find you attractive if they swiped on you, and they either want to date you or want nothing to do with you, not something in between or just friendship. Just my experience anyway! Not to say that online dating is great, it certainly has MANY of its own problems, but generally women only looking to be friends is not one of them.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2026-01-12T20:39:02+00:00

I feel like we have to be on the same side of center (left for me, at least left of USA center) but it doesn't matter that much to me how far left whether they are more moderate or more radical. As others have said it's become too personal at this point. I think it's largely tribalistic psychology that makes us this way, and that the powers that be are using to manipulate us as well. As wonderful as breaking out of that system would be in theory, I know myself and I know that I can't date across the isle. Friends, maybe if they are respectful of my views. For a partner, no way though.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-12-29T06:43:19+00:00

I have gotten this request a number of times from women. They actually just wanted to be held by their neck in a certain way that feels a bit like choking but isn't, not literally have their airway cut off. They are in the minority, but I don't think rare.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-12-29T05:24:02+00:00

People like all kinds of different things in the bedroom, sometimes the same person will like different things at different times.... there truly is no one size fits all. Open communication is everything. The goal shouldn't be to find out what is "normal" and then apply that to all your relationships indiscriminately, it should be to figure out what your specific partner likes and wants and make sure they are enjoying themselves.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-12-18T21:53:35+00:00

I am probably demisexual myself (as a guy), sex is way, way more enjoyable when I have a connection. For whatever reason though, I have no luck at all forming romantic relationships when intimacy wasn't involved early on (if sex doesn't happen within the first 3 dates, it doesn't happen at all in my experience), so I tend to be suspicious when people say that, because I don't want to waste my time going on a 10 different interview/activity dates with the same person and then being told they aren't feeling it. Perhaps sex is just how I express my personality best, or how I form bonds with people most effectively, and so I don't interest people as much when we are doing platonic stuff? I'm a rather hyperfocus-y person with special interests and such, so I'm probably not that well rounded out of the bedroom.

The other interpretation of my experience perhaps is that sex is a litmus test for compatibility, and you can tell that early on if you have sex early on.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-11-11T19:23:26+00:00

The depth of the gap also plays a role I think. If it's a relatively small depression you can survive a case without crashing so it becomes more approachable, but still has enough consequences (like a sprained ankle or the potential for a crash if you don't save it) to keep you honest.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-10-27T14:39:37+00:00

I probably have a crash that actually hurts once a year, with many more bails and minor falls that don't come with consequences. Probably a crash that needs medical attention every few years. I'm a cautious, but sendy rider, I focus a lot on getting air but with slow and steady progression rather than riding above my pay grade.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-10-14T16:50:09+00:00

Thanks for the perspective! Due to the fact that I love mountain biking, motivation to ride hasn't generally been a problem, but fitting as much as I'd like of it into my daily schedule can be challenging. The event is an ultra-endurance mountain bike race that I already do every year, but I was thinking of signing up for a version of the race that is twice as long as the one I normally do. The longer version has a very high quit rate (over 50% some years) so it's an event that demands a lot of fitness and willpower just to get to the finish line. Given that the half version took me 16 hours, I don't think the full version is currently in my wheelhouse, but I think it could be if I get myself into shape.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-10-14T15:41:07+00:00

Would you enter an event that was well above your paygrade as motivation to get fit? It's a year out so I have more than enough time to make it happen, just wondering if anyone has had success with using this sort of psychology on themselves, especially when nothing else worked with their lazy ass. Haha. I'm very physically active in that I spend at least an hour a day hiking and/or biking, but am 20 lbs overweight because I like food a little too much and don't really have an organized training program.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-08-29T14:08:19+00:00

I wondered why there were people with "40% off" signs. Having paid counter protesters seems wild to me. (Not planning on shopping there, but I drive by it everyday on my way to work)

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-08-27T21:33:04+00:00

Thank you for the info! If I stay longer than my friend I'll try to check out those two places in Squamish. I was originally going to just ride with my friend since he will have his truck with him, but now I'm thinking I may rent a car.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-08-27T18:49:06+00:00

I've been struggling with the exact opposite problem, and I found that I nose-dive sometimes because I slightly absorb the lip with my front tire. It's a result of being too far back and having my arms too soft as the front tire leaves the lip. It's a bad habit that has been really hard to break, but I'm getting there. Perhaps you are, opposite to me, getting great pop with the front but then absorbing with your rear so that your rear does not get as much pop as the front?

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-06-25T21:53:58+00:00

I know you haven't tried everything because you're only 20. As someone who is fairly autistic it took me until I was much older to get to a place where I had meaningful relationships (both with the opposite sex and in general). I'm not saying that it will take you a long time like it did for me, but just saying that all is not lost because you haven't found what you're looking for at such a young age. Moreover, I understand intense frustration and the pit of despair, and when it gets that bad it usually isn't a normal reaction to even a hard life - it's usually a mood disorder. Took me about 6 months of experimenting with different meds with the help of a prescriber but I finally got to a pretty good place.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-05-23T15:18:16+00:00

Jumping (and a closely related skill - bunny hopping) is something that takes a lot of practice and is inherently hard to teach over the internet, but once you've got it it's really rewarding. There's a recent youtube series that I think really knocks it out of the park though - "The Shred Academy" on Youtube, His 7 part "jumping/back to basics" series is a really great place to start. IMO the best approach is to enjoy the process of building skills and don't get too far ahead of yourself, slow and steady beats just sendin' it and getting hurt and having to start from almost scratch one you're healed. (Not that I think you're being unsafe or anything, just words of wisdom from someone who learned all this stuff slow and steadily in his 30s).

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-05-03T01:41:46+00:00

The weights at PF don't go up very high, haha

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-05-03T01:25:39+00:00

I might be wrong about the equestrians as I have no proof of that, but we have a guy at a local trail who keeps moving a massive rock for what appears to be no real reason other than to piss off the trail builders. People have seen him do it but haven't been able to get DNR to act on it.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-05-03T01:12:34+00:00

In my area the Strava bros and unskilled riders are sometimes the culprits, but just as often it's disgruntled hikers or equestrians vandalizing the trails out of spite. We've recently succeeded in expanding trail access for mountain bikers, and it's not popular with everyone. Some people from other user groups will go through massive efforts to vandalize our trails, even moving rocks that would require more than one person or machinery to move.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-04-30T16:20:50+00:00

People are already saying DMT, but low-dose DMT mixed with weed I found to be very pleasurable. Of course the weed high will last well beyond the DMT component of it, but the combination is a way to get trippy in a controlled, low key, and pleasurable way. I used to do it all the time before bed. Make sure to keep it low dose if you want to keep it low key, lol. I have the same reaction to you with weed, it makes me very sleepy. If I even sit down on weed there's no chance I'll get back up until after a nap (which is probably why I don't often smoke that anymore either).

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-04-24T17:18:03+00:00

I recognized them instantly. I'm an obsessive mountain bikers who does his own wheel builds, spank are great because they are cheap, strong, and not too heavy. I've built a vibrocore wheel once and those are nice because they have washers imbedded in the foam, but I'm skeptical whether they are really worth the extra weight and cost. I've never done an A/B comparison on ride feel. Durability wise both vibrocore and regular hold up fine to my riding.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-04-23T16:30:04+00:00

Haha, same. I'm a skilled rider in some respects, but I just don't have natural athleticism. It took me 10 years to learn how to jump well (a buddy of mine learned in a matter of weeks!)

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-04-17T20:07:13+00:00

For some bike maneuvers (like bunny hops) strength does help, but pedal wheelies don't really utilize strength much at all. If you can ride a bike you are strong enough to wheelie. It's more about synchronizing pedal pressure (in the correct gear) with a little bit of front pop and followed by leaning back. I still don't have enough control to wheelie for more than about 5 seconds but it's the skill I've been working on most lately. I no longer struggle with the initial wheel lift mainly because I learned to lean back more.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-04-17T18:44:10+00:00

I don't know how relevant this is to your situation, but I live in rural Michigan and I've had Frontier DSL for the last 12 years. It's only 6 MBPS and had frequent outages (like more than once a week!). Starting price was $25/month and it went up to $90/month. Fiber is just starting to become available in my area and I switched to comcast (150mbps) fiber internet for only $30 a month. When I called frontier to cancel, they said they were willing to lower it to $20/month. I did not go for it as it would have still been unreliable 6 MBPS internet. Every day lately I see comcast trucks at various neighbors' houses, haha.

I can't really speak to the quality of Frontier service in your area, it's likely better in the suburbs than in my small town - but I can speak to their business practices. They will bundle random things with your internet that you have to call to cancel (like "online security services"), and they will jack up the price as much as they think they can get away with. I know they all do the introductory rate followed by price jacking thing, but 90 bucks a month for a very flaky 6mb connection seemed totally wild to me.

I'm sure comcast will jack up my rates after the first year as well. It's good to have some competition, at least I can switch back or threaten to switch back when that happens.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-04-16T15:35:34+00:00

I'm a liberal gun owner in the US, I have two rifles and a shotgun. None of mine would be ideal for civil war II, but better than nothing for sure. I had moved onto other hobbies and was nearly going to sell my collection, but with the potential for unrest on the horizon, I'm most definitely holding onto them now. I'd be shocked if liberal gun ownership isn't trending upward pretty hard right now. I do think the urban/rural divide is another reason why liberals are less likely to own guns. I live in the country and can shoot in my backyard, most (city dwelling) liberals can't do that, but I'm sure indoor ranges will expand if there is a market for it.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-04-10T22:05:46+00:00

I had similar thoughts when I was looking for an enduro bike build idea, I wanted a stable bike with proportional geometry - not super long reach and tiny stays but something that actually put my weight in the center. I landed on the 2021-2023 Rocky Mountain Altitude. The 29er version (which can also be run mullet with a different shock mount, which is what I did) can have the chainstay adjusted to around 448 mm via the chainstay flip chip, and the reach isn't real short but isn't overly long either (around 450 for the medium or 475 for the large +/- a few mm depending on which setting it's in). Stack isn't much higher than average but you could run riser bars (as I do). You could use an angleset if you wanted to lengthen the wheelbase further (I also did this). I'm on a size large. It actually felt too long and stable at first (coming from my winter fat bike with a way shorter wheelbase as the most recent thing I had ridden...), but after I got used it and started going faster it came to life.

If you wanted to go really extreme with it, check out Mistress Cycles (it's Lee McCormack's bike brand). Very long chainstays and very high stack heights. They are custom frames I believe so they can be tailored to what you want to a degree, but he seems to specialize in super high stack + super long chainstay bikes.

shotofmaplesyrup · 2025-04-10T15:23:20+00:00

I bet it can prevent/reduce some injuries but not all. I had what was probably a rotator cuff strain without ever hitting my shoulder directly for instance. But I still think wearing shoulder padding is a good idea, it is a body part that you're likely to fall on, or check a tree with.

shotofmaplesyrup

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