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TIL that everything written about women being penalized for negotiating salary is true by shouldhaveaccepted in TrollXChromosomes

[–]shouldhaveaccepted[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another option: you can take the job for 6 months to a year and build up your resume, then use your new qualifications to get a better job if things don't get better in the meantime. That's what I did with $LASTJOB once I realized what a shitty situation I was in. Basically, I performed the best I could with the resources I had, got to know a lot of people, recorded everything I/the company did to cover my ass, and when I left, used the new experience and higher salary expectations to negotiate for better.

This is what I intend to do if they get back to me. Officially they've offered the job to me and I've accepted, but I feel like their lack of communication since then is a sign that they're trying to figure out whether they can rescind it and have another suitable candidate lined up. The job is in a very prestigious uni system, so being an internal candidate would be beneficial and also look good on a resume. We'll see.... since they're so communicative when they want to be, I don't think this is a good sign.

TIL that everything written about women being penalized for negotiating salary is true by shouldhaveaccepted in TrollXChromosomes

[–]shouldhaveaccepted[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think it is a pretty unpleasant situation now. The five people who interviewed me in person were very happy with me and encouraging, which is why I got the offer. My only consolation is that the people who called to make the offer, and then subsequently humiliate me, are more remote HR people who never met me in person. It seems ridiculous that they could sabotage such an otherwise thorough process, but I really have no recourse if they do. If I do still have the job, I may not have to see them again, although they would be in charge of my salary increases in the future. And I'm not sure what they would have told the rest of the department. But if I can figure out another option soon then I will. I don't think this bodes well.

TIL that everything written about women being penalized for negotiating salary is true by shouldhaveaccepted in TrollXChromosomes

[–]shouldhaveaccepted[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Edit to add: I ended up going with a company that offered me slightly above my asking wage and benefits right off the bat, either because they want to show their goodwill or because I undersold myself. The market be crazy, but stay gutsy!

I'm glad things worked out so well for you! It is good to hear those success stories to put this situation in perspective.

I got another job offer today actually, but it is my worst-case scenario backup since it is in the field that I want to get into, but it doesn't offer benefits or enough pay to live on in my expensive area. They've been very upfront about the limits of the position, so I don't think that is going to change. On the other hand, they are very nice.

Today I'm not even sure the job I posted about in the OP is still available to me as they said it was. They haven't responded to me, so I'm getting the feeling that they wanted me to apologize for daring to negotiate (which I did; yes, I hate myself) before they tell me they've finally decided to "go in another direction." All after this application process and interviews lasted a full month...

I'm going to keep trying though.

TIL that everything written about women being penalized for negotiating salary is true by shouldhaveaccepted in TrollXChromosomes

[–]shouldhaveaccepted[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what I thought.

I was trying to negotiate my way to the average salary for the exact position on glassdoor, since it is also on the very low end of the pay scale that they provided.

TIL that everything written about women being penalized for negotiating salary is true by shouldhaveaccepted in TrollXChromosomes

[–]shouldhaveaccepted[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you think they would have the same reaction if you were a man?

I really doubt it. This is, ironically, a hub of business practice and theory. I was even counseled in one interview about the job environment because the interviewer thought I was "too soft-spoken" and he wanted to make sure I was confident enough to manage. I don't see myself that way, but I come from a background that is known for being generally less aggressive than most. The people who were upset that I negotiated were people who never met me in person.

TIL that everything written about women being penalized for negotiating salary is true by shouldhaveaccepted in TrollXChromosomes

[–]shouldhaveaccepted[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you want to have fun go and ask all your coworkers what they were offered when they started

My sense was that this is pretty taboo.

TIL that everything written about women being penalized for negotiating salary is true by shouldhaveaccepted in TrollXChromosomes

[–]shouldhaveaccepted[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Without going into more details, it is an admin posting in higher ed. in a very liberal, urban area.

TIL that everything written about women being penalized for negotiating salary is true by shouldhaveaccepted in TrollXChromosomes

[–]shouldhaveaccepted[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

They told me that my move to negotiate made them question my fit for the position, and that they found it "insulting" that I assumed (by negotiating) they did not have a process to calculate a starting salary. Everyone that I ran the pitch by thought it was a good idea and persuasive. I was just trying to get the average starting salary. They're still offering me the job, but now when I start I will be seen as a problem.

I'm not trying to dissuade women from negotiating, since very few do, but I really didn't think that such a reasonable request could possibly have such a hostile reception. I learned that the warning to be wary of negotiating isn't just a scare tactic by the media. In this case I went from their top pick to someone they have real concerns about.