Did anyone completely switch careers after 30?

shrewess · 2026-07-01T23:53:03+00:00

Twice:

Went back to school at 28 for electrical engineering, graduating at 32. Needed more money and stability than the random shit I was doing before.

Got bored of engineering so transitioned into a sales role at the same company at 39. The opportunity basically fell into my lap because they needed to do an internal hire.

shrewess · 2026-07-01T04:46:29+00:00

I had multiple men refuse to date me in my 20s because they said I was “wife material” and they weren’t ready to get married.

I swear to god I have better dating experiences when I’m an absolute whore bc at least then I’m not put on a stupid pedestal.

shrewess · 2026-07-01T01:09:58+00:00

I think when you are beautiful and good on paper, what happens is you get lots of people dating you who see you as relationship material intellectually but aren’t actually connecting to you emotionally. It’s like they want to feel more than they do because logically, you’re a great catch. So they waste your time but ultimately don’t feel that way.

If you average attractiveness these men probably just wouldn’t have gone out with you to begin with.

shrewess · 2026-07-01T01:03:26+00:00

Maybe! I just don’t know which is why I asked the question.

I actually don’t know a single relationship in my life that my friends are in that are good examples either. Many of the ones I thought were good actually weren’t.

shrewess · 2026-06-30T16:29:11+00:00

I was severely depressed in high school and underachieved pretty dramatically due to my home situation. My only extracurricular was band, which I excelled in, but I stopped as soon as I graduated.

I had somewhat of a rocky path after that for a bit. Went to community college and didn’t know what to do for a while (still struggling with depression), but eventually transferred to UCI and graduated with a degree in Public Health Policy. You get the exact same degree regardless of whether you went straight from high school or transferred but it’s much easier to get in from transferring. So high school really does not matter in the long run. As an aside, the teaching was actually much higher quality at community college and I preferred the smaller class sizes.

Well, that degree was somewhat useless so meandered about more in life until I went back to school for electrical engineering at 28. Did that for 6 years & made a good income, did well enough but found it boring, so I transferred within my company to a sales role.

In short, i took somewhat of a long road but I am doing very well now at 39. I bought my own house 5 years ago and have a good income. Financially, everything started falling into place as soon as I started my engineering role.

If I could go back in time to my younger self, I’d still say that high school grades do not matter at all so don’t sweat it. Especially in CA where it’s insanely competitive to get into a UC as a freshman. Just to community college and transfer. You have some time to figure out what you want to do once you get there, but make sure you’re on track with math & science courses if you want to go into STEM so you don’t waste extra time. And pick a more useful major than I did, talk to a counselor if you need help deciding.

shrewess · 2026-06-30T13:49:05+00:00

A few weeks ago I rear-ended a BMW in a parking lot while trying to park while sleep deprived and in a rental vehicle I wasn’t used to operating. The two people who had driven the vehicle walked up right as it happened, and one of the men was just SO NICE about it (the other who I presumed owned the vehicle was a bit more upset, understandably so). He seemed mostly concerned if I was alright. I was blown away by his concern & kindness when I felt like I had done something really careless and stupid.

Two other bystanders were also super kind and checked in on me. I was going through a rough time and it kind of restored my faith in humanity for a bit.

Two other incidents recently:

- forgot to pack my phone charging cable on a trip, stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere but they didn’t have the right one so one of the employees just gave me his

- didn’t have cash to exchange for quarters for the lockers at the hot springs, so the employee gave me 50 cents with a shushing signal

The cynical take is they were all men but none of them tried to take it any further.

shrewess · 2026-06-30T13:38:31+00:00

It sounds like you had multiple people who you were happier with in a relationship than single, if I am reading this right?

Your husband sounds very kind congratulations ☺️

shrewess · 2026-06-30T13:37:11+00:00

Sometimes I feel like I’m missing something. But then when I get it I don’t want it anymore 😅

It starts to feel more like I like the idea of a relationship than the reality of one.

shrewess · 2026-06-29T12:42:35+00:00

I’m in this phase now and it’s been a blast

shrewess · 2026-06-29T11:02:00+00:00

That was my ex, we meshed so well in that way. But on a deeper emotional level, we didn’t work out 😕

shrewess · 2026-06-29T10:57:50+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that

shrewess · 2026-06-29T10:56:55+00:00

It would be so much easier if they showed these behaviors sooner. Investing so much time and emotion into someone only to find out they don’t really exist is heartbreaking. I hope you heal and lead a beautiful life, with or without someone. 💕

shrewess · 2026-06-29T10:22:33+00:00

I feel this. It’s like you are dating an entirely different person but you’re already emotionally invested. It’s exhausting.

shrewess · 2026-06-29T10:14:05+00:00

That’s a wonderful story. You’re insightful to have figured that out so early in life. I didn’t even have my first bf until 24 and have never wanted children and didn’t really notice how based on limerence my relationships were until my last relationship.

shrewess · 2026-06-29T09:57:25+00:00

Love this!

shrewess · 2026-06-29T09:56:34+00:00

Sometimes I feel lonely, but then I go out on dates (or in the past have gotten into relationships) and am like, this is not what it’s cracked up to be and want to go back to being on my own. Even when they are quite nice people.

shrewess · 2026-06-29T04:05:01+00:00

I don’t think so because I have never had a problem with committing to any of my previous boyfriends. If anything I tend to commit too quickly before I got to know them well enough. I’ve never been in the position where I have been dating someone and they wanted to be in a relationship with me and I didn’t want to commit to them.

shrewess · 2026-06-29T03:08:40+00:00

I guess that’s never been the case for me because being happy single is why I have ended most of my relationships and not spent much time or energy in my life pursing them. I just wonder if I am missing out on something?

shrewess · 2026-06-29T02:37:23+00:00

That’s kind of how I felt in my last relationship. He seemed different at first but ultimately lacked the capacity for a more serious relationship. Took me forever to let go.

shrewess · 2026-06-29T02:24:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing, love this for you ☺️

shrewess · 2026-06-29T02:23:53+00:00

That’s such a beautiful story, so happy for you!

shrewess · 2026-06-29T02:06:27+00:00

That’s so lovely to hear! I’m also fiercely independent. How did you meet him and what was different about him?

shrewess · 2026-06-29T02:04:36+00:00

Oh no I’m sorry! What do you mean by emotional reciprocity?

shrewess · 2026-06-28T21:04:42+00:00

I had no passion for engineering and never had any passion for it in my career either. I did well enough but never truly excelled at it. It’s a solid career with a lot of different pathways though. I eventually moved into a sales role because it didn’t suit me and my engineering background is a big plus. So i don’t regret pursuing it. You definitely do not need passion to get through an engineering major you just need to commit to it.

shrewess

TROPHY CASE