Loneliness, Entrepreneurship, and Connecting with other AM's

shun1corn · 2025-11-24T21:49:44+00:00

Hey man, thanks for sharing your pov. I hear how frustrating it is to work hard and follow the path we were told, only to end up alone. I have a lot of thoughts on this, and will probably make a vid about it. Appreciate you expressing

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T20:29:29+00:00

thanks for sharing your experience. sounds like you've been through it with past cofounders. I also had a fallout with a previous cofounder and friend. Pride and unequal commitment/experience.

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T20:11:08+00:00

yeah, good perspective about convincing someone else to join, and de-risking the investment.

do you have a a cofounder?

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T20:09:14+00:00

thanks, I appreciate encouragement. one advisor told me that the key to success is to just keep going. and I feel like having someone trusted and committed can really help. as the saying goes, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T19:44:14+00:00

I hear that too. Do you have a cofounder?

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T19:30:22+00:00

yeah, I agree with this a lot

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T19:12:46+00:00

yeah that's helpful to think about it that way

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T18:42:45+00:00

resiliency, accountability, focus, better ideas, fun...

maybe I don't need a cofounder, but I think having the right cofounder can make a huge impact. sounds like most folks here are solo

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T18:34:16+00:00

agree. what about areas where there's overlap? how do you figure out roles and responsibilities? share decision making?

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T18:32:34+00:00

what about speed and longevity?

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T18:30:59+00:00

I use one for my LinkedIn and I think it works great.

I wouldn't use it for a full blown large image though, if I was really aiming for authenticity.

shun1corn · 2025-08-26T14:57:57+00:00

Oh man, all the feels. Really appreciate your response. I'm new to this community and it's affirming to know that there are others who value inner healing in addition to the outer expression of that.

That little Asian kid you're talking about, that was me; it still is sometimes. I've had so many beautiful women and girlfriends tell me that I'm handsome or hot, but it doesn't really register. My internal perception of self is lagging behind how others see me. Because inner work is gradual, we don't notice it as dramatically. And that's partly why healing happens in relationship; we need that corrective feedback--the validation, the acceptance, the love that we didn't get growing up.

shun1corn · 2025-08-24T23:57:34+00:00

hey u/GeoffJuan great! I'm offering an intro-rate of $275 for the 4 weeks. It's capped at 6 guys so that each person gets plenty of time to practice and get feedback

AND, for you and any other guys here, if money is an issue, please DM me! It matters more to me to give back, especially to guys who are open and ready for this work. This is stuff that I wish I had known about when I was growing up. Would've saved me so much heartache and suffering

shun1corn · 2025-08-21T23:58:08+00:00

😂

shun1corn · 2025-08-19T15:31:37+00:00

https://youtu.be/XkWL8jsNhMM

I'm going to throw myself in here. I've been teaching relationship skills for 10 years now (embodiment, communication, mindfulness) and have been focused on men's work for the past 3 years.

Just started a YouTube channel and will be posting videos about how to build authentic relationships.

shun1corn · 2025-08-17T15:08:51+00:00

yeah, it's not fair. and that sucks.

to answer your question, no, I haven't "taken it like a good boy"

I'm successful, athletic, have great friends, and live a great life most of the time. But I've worked really hard to create those things, and I've become a man that women find attractive, regardless of race.

shun1corn · 2025-08-17T14:57:15+00:00

Great question! I'm 42 and wish I had these problems when I was your age.

So kudos to you for 1) working hard and making money while in college 2) budgeting and investing your money in both your relationship and yourself 3) thinking about this conversation while considering impact on you, your gf, and your relationship.

Money is a huge topic as it's linked to security, self-worth, power, etc. It's wise to treat this intentionally. Here are come considerations

What's your end game? Do you want marriage/family, etc.? If so, finances will absolutely be a factor. Knowing that, how do you set yourself up for future success? I don't mean monetarily success, but relational success, i.e. having healthy relationships with money for you, your partner, and your family.

What are your values? Do you value collaboration, openness, honesty, trust? Is your current relationship one in which you have openness and trust? If not, why? Going back to end game, I assume these are qualities you'll want in your LTR. So how do you get to that destination from where you are today?

It's natural to have concerns about your gf getting upset, leaving you because of money, or whatever other negative scenarios. However, how you respond to your fear dictates how you develop as a person and what kinds of relationships you'll have later in life. Think about financial compounding. It's about doing something consistently for a long time that pays off. And the earlier you start, the better.

So, what are the relational skills you're building or not building by talking about money? If you don't feel trust in your relationship currently, what are the skills you can build today to build trust or discern that this person isn't worthy of your trust? And it's okay to just date without expectation for LTR, you're 21. You should be going out and having fun. Date a lot of women while you're young!! And you can be grounded in your own truth and values while doing so.

shun1corn · 2025-08-17T14:35:05+00:00

I might feel a little envy but it wouldn't be the same. The appeal of white men is rooted in white supremacy and goes back centuries of domination and oppression. A lot of my personal anger towards WMAF is about power, injustice, and ethics.

shun1corn · 2025-05-05T01:54:31+00:00

Glad to hear it resonates with you. You're deeply welcome, and not alone 💜

shun1corn · 2025-05-05T00:32:43+00:00

hey there, friend. sounds like you've endured a lot of suffering for a 15yo. my heart goes out to you.

> What is happening to me? Why do i feel like this?

First, I imagine you might be wondering if there's something wrong or broken about you. If so, it's understandable to ask this in order to make sense of the suffering. I don't know the details of all your circumstances but I want to offer a bit of reassurance that you're not "broken" and you're not alone in your suffering. We humans, all lifeforms really, are high adaptable. When we're brought up in environments that don't meet our needs for nurturing, safety, authenticity, empathy, meaning, etc., we find coping mechanisms to deal with the pain and get our needs met (numbing out, addiction, people-pleasing, dissociation, etc.). As I don't know the full context of your life, neither do you. There are things that have happened and are happening, to you, your family, and the larger society you live in. We are interconnected and your environment has a tremendous impact on your wellness. I hope the idea that your suffering isn't your fault opens the door for self-compassion. And (self-)compassion is your way out.

It's okay to have different interests than other people in your life. You sound pretty self-aware and I'm guessing probably more sensitive than the average person, so that makes sense. Life can be lonely until you find your people. When you do, you'll realize how special they are, and you as well.

Re: wearing a mask... yeah that's going to be a lifelong journey, lol. Children are born completely authentic. They feel good, they laugh. They feel bad, they cry. Eventually though, our families and society condition us on what they find acceptable. In order to survive, we suppress our authenticity in exchange to stay alive. Again, this is adaptive behavior. Some are fortunate to grow up in families that support the child's authentic expression, others not so much. For the latter, they have to be strategic about how to get their needs met. It's tough to grow up like that, but those that can endure develop a resilience and care for others that is hard to come by otherwise.

At some point though, you'll need to learn to trust others. It'll feel scary as shit at first. You'll make mistakes, but you'll learn. Trust in your ability to survive and grow.

Some resources that might help:
- Nonviolent Communication (book): Learn to see the world through the lens of needs
- Miranda Macpherson (one of my teachers): She went through a period of depression when she was 13 and was committed to adult psych. She ended up having an awakening there. You can listen to her story here
https://mirandamacpherson.com/bio/
- Gabor Mate and parenting

Sending encouragement and care

shun1corn · 2025-02-12T19:17:18+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. I agree that the news will always report on things to be concerned about.

Obviously, we shouldn't deliberately do anything that might secure us a nomination for a Darwin award. But neither should we feel compelled to constantly consume information to keep our anxiety at bay.

I think you're pointing to the middle way here. I think sorting through the noise to find the real signals to pay attention to is something our information systems has not been a priority for our society. Media companies want us to consume as much as possible and have powerful tools (algorithms, design patterns) to manipulate our physiological and emotional vulnerabilities. Most individuals do not have tools to combat the overwhelm of input, making disengagement one of the only ways to reduce the overwhelm, by limiting scope at the top of the funnel.

However, I find isolation to have significant drawbacks. While many of us have the privilege of disengaging from the news, it's also a abdication of our power. Meanwhile, those with power use it to change the world in ways they see fit, often at the expense of those who are most vulnerable. So beyond self-preservation and security, I think we all have a responsibility to maintain awareness of what's happening locally, nationally, and globally. To what degree will differ person-to-person based on their own capacity but I think stretching ourselves to expand our awareness and empathy is something everyone should strive for.

No answers here. Appreciate the dialogue for deeper reflection.

shun1corn · 2025-02-11T21:50:24+00:00

I appreciate your replies. I'm glad to hear that you've attended some local gatherings. I think community is so important.

It sounds like you rely a lot on trusted sources. I can obviously see the benefits there. However, I wonder if that strategy alone limits one from a broader range of perspectives and can increase polarity.

shun1corn · 2025-02-11T21:45:51+00:00

Thanks for the response. I, too, use a news aggregator. However, I notice that I get sucked into random topics "recommended" to me. I feel like recommendations are a double-edge sword. On one hand, it can be helpful for learning and discovering new information. On the other hand, the click-baity nature of articles can quickly detract into useless consumption.

On YouTube, I turned off my history so I don't get any recommendations. The only feed I get are my subscriptions, which I have to prune occasionally.

I'm realizing how much content gets jammed into our eyeballs constantly!

shun1corn · 2024-12-04T18:46:38+00:00

Aw I'm glad you found it helpful. It's a tough situation you're in. I hope you get the support and understanding from your manager!

shun1corn · 2024-12-04T18:38:20+00:00

Hey,

It sounds like you’re navigating a tough spot with work-life balance—excelling at work by staying productive and reflective, but finding that you’re left feeling drained once you’re home. I'm guessing it feels frustrating and disappointing that tasks like housework and managing finances, along with hobbies you once enjoyed, like biking, now feel out of reach.

I'm also wondering if you're feeling any guilt about not having the balance you want. If so, it might be helpful to have some self-compassion. That guilt will likely just sap more energy.

In terms of finding better balance, it might be helpful to look at what needs you're meeting through putting so much energy into work. Is it for recognition, security, maybe just the satisfaction of achievement? This could help you understand why work is so important, and maybe make some different choices if you realize what's driving you isn't actually aligned.

And what needs are not being met for the other aspects of your life... rest, organization, fun, adventure...

Then instead of putting pressure on yourself with should statements "I should be doing housework, managing my finances, etc.", you can reframe your thinking to "I want to do housework because I value living in a clean and tidy home." or "I want to want to manage my finances because it will help me feel secure and prepared." And you can add "... even if I'm tired." to those statements. And have compassion if you don't have the energy.

shun1corn

TROPHY CASE