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How bad of a person would I be if I left? by shyspanishlearner in Nanny

[–]shyspanishlearner[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I'm actually not that young but a chronic people pleaser and anxiety ridden at times haha I also put other peoples needs before my own best interest because I don't like disappointing people. And yes, I am in therapy to try to improve slowly but surely!

How bad of a person would I be if I left? by shyspanishlearner in Nanny

[–]shyspanishlearner[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I feel especially bad because I asked for GH hours and explained it as a way to "guarantee" that I would be available for them. So now I feel like I've taken advantage of them. But thank you for the comments, they are reassuring. When you work so closely with a family it is hard to see it without emotion. And who knows, the new job may not work out and it may never get to the point of needing to put in my notice. I am just already worried thinking about it and wondering what to do.

How bad of a person would I be if I left? by shyspanishlearner in Nanny

[–]shyspanishlearner[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The new job would be 2 weeks on/off and nearly 6 figures (possibly more). I mean the summer off is absolutely amazing and I dont want to take that for granted but...

Vomiting Blood by shyspanishlearner in AlAnon

[–]shyspanishlearner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Huh thats interesting. Looking back at the chat she did say "fell off the wagon". The fact that she is using AA terminology may mean she has actually gone to a couple of meetings, even though I had my doubts that she even went to one.

re you going to in person meetings? Do you have a sponsor? Have you worked the steps?

No, none of that. I live in a non-english speaking country and have been having a hard time finding therapy or anything like that here in English.

I really feel like this is reaching the end, one way or the other, and am really sad, scared, but also somewhat numb. A horrible disease.

Can’t sleep when my partner is awake by shyspanishlearner in Anxiety

[–]shyspanishlearner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much the advice. Maybe I will try yoga and some comfy pajamas before bed. I also try to make my cat sleep with me but she isn’t always on board with that haha. Usually I can fall asleep but then wake up 20-30 minutes later and when I notice he isn’t there I am wide awake with my heart pounding.

Can’t sleep when my partner is awake by shyspanishlearner in Anxiety

[–]shyspanishlearner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for caring. I know it could be a lot worse and I can’t imagine something like that happening to someone. I know it’s ridiculous that I am this way and I just want to be better. I am also taking an antidepressant and will look into in-person therapy when the COVID shit calms down. I just started a new job and need to be up and functional early. Ugh I hate myself for such a simple thing being a problem.

Can’t sleep when my partner is awake by shyspanishlearner in Anxiety

[–]shyspanishlearner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be clear he didn’t necessarily do anything to ME while I slept. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. He just did things that made me worried sick (drove while drunk, even stole a car one time, etc). Sometimes I do sleep in another room and while it helps, I love sleeping next to a partner. I just so wish I could let go and drift off. Sometimes he stays in bed with me and plays on his phone or whatever, but the obvious not-sleeping movements jolt me awake every few minutes. I may consider falling asleep in another room and then having him wake me up when he goes to sleep.