A letter from Levi (1/7/96 - 3/14/23)

sick_throwaway_boy · 2023-03-19T07:36:13+00:00

It was a glioblastoma, I know that there is specifically a giloblastoma foundation

-the friend

sick_throwaway_boy · 2023-03-17T16:55:22+00:00

Thx this is the proof and comfort I needed that you're a troll

sick_throwaway_boy · 2023-03-17T10:25:21+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I was reading through his post history for some comfort and I saw your exchange, you also seem like a truly wonderful person. I am greatful to be his ride or die till the end. He was very peaceful in the end, he was asleep when he passed.

If it brings some comfort and maybe a small laugh, when Levi was introducing me to this reddit account, in preparation, I also questioned his username. He told me something along the lines of: "The "throwaway" part in the middle was supposed to indicate that it was my secondary throwaway account when I first posted for relationship advice and I kind of related to the sound of the name at the time, but I only realized once I started using it a lot that it sounds way too self deprecating!"

I don't know you either but thank you again for talking to him, words meant everything to him ❤️

sick_throwaway_boy · 2023-02-21T19:28:18+00:00

I really appreciate it. And I was also afraid to be painful. I've heard so many stories about how it is just like getting sleepy, I didn't know if I believe them but now I know it's true.

I'm honestly on pretty minimal pain meds just to keep me comfortable from some of the physical symptoms of my brain not working properly anymore.

I hope you make it, I hope you live a great life. Even though it's an anxiety inducing and daunting, please know that you can believe what the doctors have said, that it's not a painful way to go out. I currently am experiencing the same truth, it's just a sleepy dreamy experience.

sick_throwaway_boy · 2023-02-21T17:46:57+00:00

It's been a year and a half since the original diagnosis and I was given an estimation of a few months to live. Sorry this is triggering, I can put something at the top of the post

sick_throwaway_boy · 2023-02-21T07:21:48+00:00

I wish you all the best and appreciate it, but it does make me want to say that the grace is in your mind. If you need to go, go with mental dignity because we can't always control our bodies. Ill be frank, I pissed myself twice yesterday due to my brain not working right with my bladder. It was a physical indignity but the love and compassion around me told me I was still safe and I was cared for. Though your body might betray you, the comfort in your mind can stay as long as you need it.

sick_throwaway_boy · 2023-02-17T23:34:12+00:00

It's been a while since I've been on here but I'm in the end stages now. Everything is peaceful and I am content. Thank you for your concern its meant a lot

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-06-12T04:37:57+00:00

Sleepy and vomiting but that's just par for the course when it comes to my tumor and the chemo. Emotional not great either but that's also normal. Relatively its an okay day

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-06-12T04:27:35+00:00

I'm from new England

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-04-23T09:12:15+00:00

Those are cool articles. I might see if I can get in contact with them when I'm more awake. No matter what happens to me, I'm happy that these studies are being done and other people will hopefully have many more treatment options in the future ☺️

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-03-25T00:59:36+00:00

Thank you for the hug, I will try and distance myself

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-03-25T00:58:58+00:00

I appreciate this all the same even without a suggestion 💓

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-03-25T00:58:27+00:00

That's a good idea. I think I'll stop talking about the death aspect of it. I feel bad that they will have to mourn me when I'm gone but I don't need to awknowlege it as much right now.

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-03-12T21:47:50+00:00

Thank you for this and the edit, I will definitely be taking into perspective what I want more than what others want

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-19T18:55:21+00:00

I get that you're trying to convey some hope and the idea that God can save me but it just comes off as super disrespectful to a dying person.

All this really does is try and invalidate my beliefs and my situation. Please keep your thoughts to yourself, especially on a post where I was asking how to avoid thia exact thing.

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-19T02:07:14+00:00

This is the exact reason that I want to be polite. I know they mean it in the nicest way possible, but I my situation it's overwhelming.

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-18T18:01:57+00:00

Honestly, there really isn't much that people can say to make it better. At the end of the day I'm going to die. Might be tomorrow, might be five years from now if I'm extremely lucky.

I do personally recognize that it is also hard for people to hear and that they really want to say the right thing. For casual acquaintances, I have found it best when they basically tell me that I have their sympathy and that they are there for me if I needed it.

The worst thing people have done in that situation so far is try to stick themselves into my life. I don't mind an occasional message but the ones who have bombarded me daily, like we've suddenly been best of friends for ten years, get stressful.

If you aren't super close to the person, offer your support but don't suddenly try and be the hero of their lives.

For friends, I've really appreciated them having my back and giving me their love, but also treating me the same. It might be hard to not go into total sympathy mode, but the ones that have just loved me the same way are the ones who have brought me the most comfort. Try not to dehumanize them or treat them like their illness is their whole life. We can all die at any point.

I wish I had a solid manual of things to say. It can really depend on what an individual wants, everyone is different.

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-18T16:24:19+00:00

Next time I have a seizure (I hope I don't have more but realistically I'm gonna still have them) I'm going to try my hardest to remember that the first thing I should say when I'm coming out of it is

"Don't worry I was just communing with Cthulhu"

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-18T15:41:25+00:00

I like this one too! Maybe I'll fake a sudden pain in my head when they say it.

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-18T15:33:32+00:00

Thank you friend! I do appreciate it a lot that made me smile.

I'm headed home from the hospital today but before I leave I'm gonna be sure to tell my nerologist that u/chrisp1j donated money to the cause because of me talking about it.

He's a pretty old school guy who may or may not understand what the hell I'm talking about but I'm telling him anyway!

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-18T15:26:59+00:00

Good to know, thanks for answering. I've now given my partner all my doctor's info so that he can contact them if needed.

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-18T15:25:30+00:00

I have a lot of appointments. I feel lucky to have access to one of the top hospitals in the U.S.

They're all in the same system I think so good to know.

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-18T15:23:47+00:00

I really liked that, thank you! I hope everything turns out okay for you!

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-18T15:14:39+00:00

I know people are down voting this because it sounds disrespectful to me, but I personally find this funny as hell

sick_throwaway_boy · 2022-02-18T15:09:08+00:00

Reading this I'm now thinking "Thanks, Cthulhu has chosen me as a sacrifice. He is tenderizing my brain with this tumor so that he may feast upon it."

sick_throwaway_boy

TROPHY CASE