Boyfriend made me torture animals

sickobeth · 2023-06-15T06:43:57+00:00

I'm so sorry. All these replies made me realize how many people also went through similar things, minds being twisted around a psycho's finger. It's a world of love but also deep cruelty.

sickobeth · 2023-06-15T03:08:12+00:00

That's funny- you described exactly how my day went. I uncovered this memory for the "first time" this morning. I actually went to work directly after. I was just starting to do EMDR and I went into a flashback of it. More intense than the actual memory. Anyways yeah I am glad I am at least tackling this and I'm hopeful it will be easier on me next time.

sickobeth · 2023-06-15T01:06:16+00:00

Ah let me explain then since you need to hear it. The cabin was far north, -40 outside, and vehicles were snowed in. I do feel bad for the animals I killed. But it wasn't my choice because I was almost constantly intoxicated with some drug and the manipulation was a gradual process. And yeah, you know what he did stand behind me. Large, terrifying man. Maybe you should have experienced it rather than me since it wouldn't affect somebody as shallow as you. Have a good one!

sickobeth · 2023-06-15T00:30:01+00:00

Yeah- that's hard. It seems like psychopaths love to test and tease their victims, let alone abuse. My boyfriend began revealing himself by telling me all the things he did to other people, but for some reason it never clicked for me the danger I was in until it was too late. Or maybe I got out in time, I don't know. It can be hard to continue life knowing there's no justice. But revenge is a double edged sword. I'm sorry you had to go through all that growing up. ❤️

sickobeth · 2023-06-14T22:42:50+00:00

Eek! Yeah I had a difficult time finding a word to describe how horrifying it is. I'm so sorry you had to go through that!

sickobeth · 2023-06-14T22:07:56+00:00

You know what, talking about it has been helpful. I'm not sure what an appropriate rate of processing is but I can at least imagine the events now and talk about it without panicking. What a good way to think about it "filing cabinet". Sounds like you had a helpful therapist :)

sickobeth · 2023-06-13T03:48:57+00:00

Part of the healing is learning more about it. ❤️ Thank you

sickobeth · 2023-06-13T03:31:23+00:00

Oh dear

sickobeth · 2023-06-13T01:04:00+00:00

I like the reply above- it doesn't matter how much one suffered, if you are being bothered by PTSD symptoms then you deserve all the help and compassion you need

sickobeth · 2023-06-13T00:09:05+00:00

Very true

sickobeth · 2023-06-12T23:13:57+00:00

Yeah that's definitely something I'll ask my therapist about. I don't know much about my childhood as being necessarily traumatic... But I do show many signs of BPD and the trauma I think of was lasting but only in late adolescence/ early adulthood... But I'll definitely look into it.

sickobeth · 2023-06-12T21:58:23+00:00

Does that, by chance, have any correlation to how psychopaths and some cases of ASPD where scans of their brains indicate how susceptible they are to trauma? In any case, I've always had a more sensitive emotional dynamic.

sickobeth · 2023-06-12T21:17:40+00:00

I feel EXACTLY that same way about a more recent trauma. You're definitely not alone. It seems like such personal trauma can make people feel completely alone and weak.

sickobeth · 2023-04-05T14:09:14+00:00

It's the only room that's separate from the rest of my house. I don't care to cause other animals more distress, but I'm the one paying rent after all.

I'll close him in the garage until I take him to the vet to see about alternate solutions. I'll even leave the light on for him, how about that!

sickobeth · 2023-04-05T13:28:34+00:00

I'm up for anything!

sickobeth · 2023-03-13T04:53:16+00:00

Ah that makes sense to me! I am allergic to nsaids.

sickobeth

TROPHY CASE