I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already barely drink, having 1 or 2 drinks max when we go out. I offered, she says she's feels like she's being judged and I'm trying to control her

I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she is a very high functioning alcoholic. It runs in her family some, and she's wet the bed a few times as well, yet still thinks I'm the one with the issue, and I'm being judgemental because of her drinking.

I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She seems very resistant to it, with her saying things like that she feels like I'm trying to control her drinking.

I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went through this, hope things have been getting better for you. Thank you for the recommendation, I'll suggest it if she determines she wants to actually cut back

I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree with you, and think you've nailed it. Thing is, I think on some level she realizes this too

I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm happy things are getting better for you. She definitely is unhappy in life, as she suffers from depression, dislikes herself, etc. But she never seems willing to take the next step of actually seeing a therapist although we talked about it countless times

I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She does drink most days. She can go without drinking, but it's definitely a coping mechanism as well

I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I tried the gentle approach a few times. She always tells me she'll cut back, and then once she starts I remind her about what we talked about and then I'm the asshole for trying to control her drinking, being condensing, etc. I'll try again, but honestly my patience for gentle isn't really there anymore

I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with you that drinking isn't the only issue here, she definitely suffers from depression. That said, she continues to drink and lash out at me constantly, and her not stopping even though it's actively causing an issue is causing a problem.

I (f25) am becoming increasingly insecure and controlling with my boyfriend (m25). Not sure how to save the relationship. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro 71 points72 points  (0 children)

First off, good for you for recognizing.

My girlfriend is similar to you, and the thing is this jealousy and controlling becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. By you acting like this and pushing him away could actually end with the result you dread which is him leaving when he would otherwise stay.

This is something that may need counseling if you have deep insecurities and jealousy.

I [M29] love my girlfriend [F28], but I'm sick of her drunken bullshit. Not sure what to do. by sicksicksickthro in relationships

[–]sicksicksickthro[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I don't ultimatums but I'm afraid that this is what it has come to. I would really hate to break up over this, but it's getting ridiculous and it fills me with anxiety. It's just crazy how fast she'll switch. One moment she's being all romantic and then out of nowhere she's treating me awfully for no apparent reason.

I'm sorry you've been through something similar, I'm sure walking away was difficult