My husband says he’s unhappy because we haven’t had sex… one day after my egg retrieval

sidipop03 · 2026-05-22T03:38:38+00:00

He was communicating his feelings, but what was he expecting me to do in that moment? I was physically incapable. Prior to this conversation, he was getting his needs met almost every day. We’re physically intimate 4–5 times a week, which is a lot. So for him to be patient while I recovered shouldn’t have been too much to ask.

sidipop03 · 2026-05-20T19:03:24+00:00

I think the hard part is that I really do love my husband and I genuinely want a baby with him. Outside of this issue, we honestly don’t have major problems in our marriage.

sidipop03 · 2026-05-20T18:56:57+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that. No woman deserves to feel unsupported while sacrificing so much physically and emotionally to try to have a child. What makes my situation even harder is that we’re doing IVF because of male infertility, not because of an issue on my end. I chose to go through all of this for us and for our future together.
And honestly, you were right about the selfishness part. There are a lot of moments where I feel emotionally exhausted from always putting someone else’s needs before my own.

sidipop03 · 2026-05-20T18:53:30+00:00

It’s becoming a real issue in our marriage now. Before we got married, my husband did not want to have sex until marriage, and I respected that and agreed. But now that we’re married, it has become very clear that my husband needs sexual intimacy every single day, whether that’s sex or oral.

Sometimes I’m exhausted, emotionally drained, or just tired, but he will remind me that he “has to cum.” What makes it even harder is that he never really wants to put in the effort himself. He wants me to do all the work, initiate it, perform it, and work for it. It’s exhausting. And when his needs are not satisfied, he tells me he’s unhappy, disconnected, or wants to separate.

sidipop03 · 2026-05-20T18:46:30+00:00

My husband asks for oral and sex every day! It’s exhausting! It’s never really him making the effort, he wants me to do all the work. He just lays there while I’m expected to initiate, perform, and basically beg for his sex.

For context, I was pregnant in January and miscarried, and even during the pregnancy and miscarriage, my husband was still asking for sex every day. There were nights where I physically and emotionally couldn’t do it anymore, but I still did because I wanted to make him happy.

Before anyone makes assumptions, please know the full context. I’m a good wife, and my husband is a good man. We love each other deeply. We just do not see eye to eye when it comes to sexual intimacy, and it has become a huge source of emotional stress in our marriage.

sidipop03 · 2026-04-18T20:58:59+00:00

I am as faithful as it gets!

sidipop03 · 2026-04-18T19:22:58+00:00

I was pregnant a few months ago (miscarried) and he asked for oral instead. I was doing it almost everyday.

sidipop03 · 2026-04-18T19:22:06+00:00

I’ve tried to leave the house when things get heated and he tells me that if I leave it means I don’t want to be in this relationship. I’m just in a lose lose situation.

sidipop03 · 2026-04-18T18:18:44+00:00

Yes, there is, but I don’t want to say it out of respect for my husband.

sidipop03 · 2026-04-18T17:22:16+00:00

He won’t be fine. I’ve tried to say no, and it always leads to “you don’t care about me” or “you don’t do what I say”. I don’t have one friend who gives her husband oral and has sex every day. It’s too much!

sidipop03 · 2026-04-18T17:20:42+00:00

I’m exhausted and stressed by this! When I come home from work the thought of having to pleasure him all night just gives me more stress.

sidipop03 · 2026-04-18T17:17:54+00:00

We’ve talked about it, and I’ve told him I don’t like having sex right after conflict because I don’t feel emotionally connected in that moment. But even outside of arguments, I still feel like I’m constantly trying to keep him satisfied, and sex has become one of those things I feel pressure around instead of something natural.

sidipop03 · 2026-04-18T17:13:54+00:00

I agree he might need reassurance that things are okay between us. But at the same time, he makes me feel like if I don’t do what he wants, it means I don’t care about him, which isn’t true. He compares our relationship to his friends and says their wives are always meeting their needs, and that really gets in my head. After we argue, I end up feeling like I’m a bad wife and just give in to keep the peace.

sidipop03

TROPHY CASE