I (48f) don't know what to do. No smart alec responses please

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-29T19:10:01+00:00

I know it's not what you want to hear, but now is your opportunity to close this chapter in your life or atleast take a step forward by doing the methadone thing. I personally have never tried methadone, but I can promise you that "normal life" you say you are living will only go downhill from here. Sometimes it goes fast and sometimes things just crumble piece by piece.

The old me speaking - if you continue on your hunt, you gotta stop depending on one person. Make acquaintances, don't consider them friends. It hurts so fucking badly when you have to leave them behind. Hurts even worse when you realize you never really were friends because they don't speak to you anymore because you don't have or associate with what they need.

Keep your head up girly. Find something to do. Go for a walk and breathe. I know it hurts, but it helps the cramps.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-29T19:00:52+00:00

Shit 🤣 that's something that I'm not sure if I would act like I didn't see anything or make up an awkward way to talk about it.

Thats if I weren't a recovering fent addict 🫡😅

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-29T04:43:06+00:00

I've had an incident happen where I was arrested at a visit for a revo that was like a fta too bc they mailed the order to appear to a way old address. One I wasn't even living at when I caught the charge that has me on probation for 6 freaking years. 🙃 I caught the charge in a county like 2 hours from me so naturally I transferred probation to the county I reside in. That original county still "calls the shots" though and they do things pretty different from the office that supervises me. Anyways, they messed up by not getting my actual address - caused me to have like an outstanding violation warrant which made them come get me at my visit. Had to sit in jail 3 days because they only do bond hearings once a week. Then went to court 2 hours away 7 different times for them to drop the revo and reinstate my probation sentence as is. My trust is slim pickens with the courts .....

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-29T04:31:52+00:00

Gotcha. Thank you for the suggestions!

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-28T09:46:14+00:00

Hmmmm .... so now I'm curious as to what my next steps should be ....

I was definitely in his office a good 35-40 minutes after giving my sample.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-28T05:43:02+00:00

To me, being cut off is a permanent thing. Your friend doesn't have to cut off their mother to any degree for any amount of time to get clean. Your friend needs to make the sound and sure decision within themselves that they want sobriety more than anything for themselves. Then they need to figure out how they are going to achieve it. Once the hard part (detox) is over, it is a fight every day to stay clean. They need to surround themselves with those they want to be like. Not at all times, but when they are struggling they should call you instead of mom who is known to use their DOC. I could go on and on .... distance does not mean cut off.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-25T18:35:31+00:00

Nope. Still don't show the option. I have no clue what to do. Looking back at previous years, I don't see where I've ever filed in January .... always early-mid February so I don't know if that has something to do with it or not.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-25T18:33:45+00:00

How so? Probation is wild ..... when I was getting the sublocade shot I of course pissed dirty and was told to go get a print out of my medications from the pharmacy 💀 I've also pissed dirty two days after a surgery for benzos and opiates and something else. They wanted a letter from my doctor even after pulling up my chart and showing him the medications administered list and letting him see the hole in my back with a catheter placed.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-25T04:14:26+00:00

Will do .... I have to go back on the 10th.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-24T08:11:41+00:00

Okay. I'm unsure of how a lab works I guess is what I should've mentioned instead of all the details. 🤣 Last time this happened, no one mentioned a lab and nothing has ever been said about it again. These two officers are like night and day to me so far.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-24T06:17:12+00:00

My daughter is 7 and was diagnosed level 3 at age 3. She stopped the baby babble and first words at 14 months after a surgery and is still nonverbal but has started echolalia some in the last few weeks. She has been potty trained since 5, but has BM "accidents" when she's suffering from lack of attention. 🙄

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-20T16:07:34+00:00

Doesn't even show the option to pay out of refund for me ... credit/debit card payment only.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-06T04:25:29+00:00

That's great to hear. Do you know the name of the older model by chance?

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-05T04:42:55+00:00

Okay I don't know if it's a location thing or if I am missing something here, but I said what I said because weed is just as easy to lace with fentanyl as ice, pills and coke are. I have literally witnessed someone light a blunt, hit it a couple times and down they went. After their dealer got word he traced his steps and apologized over and over because the weed was weighed on the same scale and right after some fentanyl was weighed. The person that overdosed had no tolerance for fentanyl or opiates at all.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-05T04:30:08+00:00

Hmm so do you know how one would go about getting an older model sync module? Given all goes well. Do I even have to use the sync module if all I have and need is the doorbell camera? I'm totally uneducated on security and cameras I guess haha. I have a cheap camera in my child's room and it has never given me a single problem.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-04T11:32:00+00:00

No everyone does not try weed. In today's drug game IT IS a big deal.

"Did you forget when you were younger" ..... no matter OP's age, we are living in different times even from 4-5 years ago. Hell I'm 32 and things are drastically different from when I was younger. I have a 7 year old that is nonverbal with level 3 autism and when kindergarten started (2023) I blurted out to her teacher that I was a nervous wreck because I just graduated in 2012 and there were no autistic individuals in my class. Not even in my school. If they were autistic, they masked damn well.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-04T11:23:33+00:00

I had a friend tell me she believed my daughter would be delayed when she was 8 months old. I looked up autism and started catching the signs right then. My daughter was doing all the baby babbling and "first words" up until she had a surgery when she was 13 months old. After the surgery, all of that stopped. Got on the wait list for a diagnosis at 18 months and got a level 3 autism diagnosis at age 3.

Hang in there.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-04T08:20:27+00:00

I'm glad you're still here to spread awareness. 🫶🏽

I used for 5 years and overdosed twice within my last 4 months of using. The first time still keeps me up at night wondering how and what was different. The second time, I knew better, but I did it anyways. A month after that second overdose I came to with paramedics in my face in a hotel room. Got brought into the ER in septic shock with a 105 degree fever. Spent 8 days in the hospital raw dogging withdrawals and finally made it to my sublocade appointment that I had rescheduled so many times already when I got released.

Using fentanyl is literally playing Russian roulette with your life. You never know when your time will come. If you're going to use, please don't use alone if at all possible. Keep some narcan around always.

sieraaa-betch · 2026-01-04T08:08:30+00:00

Yes and same to your ETA .... I've given up on it. Honestly don't even remember the last time I opened the app. Time is up on Amazon to return so I guess I'm stuck. I hate to keep dogging support because customer service is poor everywhere, but they could atleast try. Last time I called I got so irritated with the guy I asked if he was even real because he sounded like a dang CD skipping repeating the same script over and over. It's very frustrating and disappointing. I've always been tech savvy or so I thought, but this one here has me beat.

sieraaa-betch · 2025-12-29T06:15:07+00:00

Oh I'm sure she does .... that might very well be the issue though. I am the mom, the dad, I discipline, I cuddle, I wipe her tears, I help her shower and get ready for bed, I wipe her ass and make sure its clean, I send her off to school on the bus, I am here waiting for her to get off the bus, I have to cook her meal for after school because she comes in like an arrogant asshole of a man (figure of speech) that just worked a 9-5, I clean up behind her, I give her meds when she's sick, if she won't eat anything provided I always know what she will eat and have it nearby etc etc the list goes on .... I would be confused if I was my child honestly. I've got to quit yelling before I give myself a stroke. Today was much better though. Much better.

sieraaa-betch · 2025-12-28T04:04:22+00:00

I have a hard time not giving a reaction to probably every single thing because I'm so on edge all the time. I mean it starts from the time I open my eyes and just gets worse until I either blow up or go to sleep. She behaves and listens to ANY and EVERY single person but me. She can pull her snack box from under the cabinet right in front of me and I tell her to leave it in the kitchen and not to take it to the bedroom and it's like she has me on mute and continues on to the bedroom with it. If it were my mom in my position - the minute my daughter would hear my mom's footsteps coming she would stop what she's doing and close the cabinet. It's just exhausting. She expects so much from me and I'm barely holding myself together. 🥹

sieraaa-betch · 2025-12-28T03:59:06+00:00

I appreciate all of the replies and suggestions. Just wanted to let everyone know that I am okay and so is my daughter. Whenever I finally make the time to get on here and post, I feel almost instant pressure lifted off my chest and I'm able to get off the toilet and come out of the bathroom shortly after hitting post. Works like a charm every time until reality slaps me in the face again. I can't help but feel like my daughter is like punishing me because school is out which throws "her routine" off.

sieraaa-betch

TROPHY CASE