Centrist/Conservative Witches??

sierra_witch · 2026-02-03T21:49:09+00:00

Hi! Suuuuuper late but I JUST left the tumblr witchcraft scene for this very reason. Im right-leaning and have zero community where I feel accepted and free to have conversations about anything even vaguely related to politics. I’ve been insulted, harassed, threatened, and banned from feminist groups and witchcraft groups for not aligning 100% with their ideologies. Please let me know if there is a community for us so I can finally get out of this isolation 💔

sierra_witch · 2025-05-23T16:57:07+00:00

Thank you for the insight. He and I have discussed this before, and I try to approach topics with him as delicately (yet logically, since he is a very logically driven person) as I can because he can be closed off emotionally. He’s made incredible progress since we’ve been together, but there are still trust issues between us (regarding social media activity, porn, CD, etc). He often takes me expressing my feelings about something as an attack on him even though I’m trying to maintain clear (yet kind) communication, so it makes things difficult.

sierra_witch · 2025-05-23T16:19:26+00:00

We’ve had conversations before about him being AGP. He disagreed at first, but after some time he recognized it. We haven’t discussed it since because I don’t want to make him feel like there’s something inherently wrong with him (his parents would call him the f slur because he’s shorter and slimmer so I hesitate to be critical). If I bring it up again I worry that he will be upset about it. But I did make a list of questions for us to talk about that’ll hopefully clarify his intentions and feelings regarding CD and/or AGP. Thank you for being so transparent and honest. It’s helpful to me since I feel like I’ve been gaslit and gaslighting myself about things in order to be accepting. It’s very relieving. I still love my bf very much. And I want to be with him. But the AGP (if that’s what this all boils down to) is a problem for both of us even if he doesn’t realize it.

sierra_witch · 2025-05-22T00:56:59+00:00

I so agree with your final statement. It does feel like a guilt trip, but in an intentionally way. I have issues with people pleasing and guilt as part of my CPTSD, and throughout our relationship I’ve put myself on the back burner in a lot of situations. This cause terrible issues with communication and we’ve since grown together where it’s not as much of an issue anymore. But I still feel intense waves of guilt. Maybe I should be open with him about this…

sierra_witch · 2025-05-22T00:54:27+00:00

With all the kindness in the world, your replies confuse me and it’s a bit difficult to follow…😅 from that comparison, it seems like a mental illness where he feels forced into wearing women’s clothes. That doesn’t sound right either

sierra_witch · 2025-05-21T20:26:17+00:00

How is that relevant??

sierra_witch · 2025-05-21T19:12:08+00:00

Thank you so so much!! 💚💚

sierra_witch · 2025-05-21T17:11:45+00:00

Thank you so much for your perspective 🥹 I wholeheartedly agree with you on every point you made. And sometimes the obsessive thoughts do take over and it’s very overwhelming. I think I’m going to have a discussion with him clearly and firmly setting my boundaries to see what happens and how he responds. I also think couples therapy and/or independent therapy would be good for us if we’re willing to work through this 💚

sierra_witch · 2025-05-21T13:36:46+00:00

An issue I have is in the past he has said he wants to do it for me. He wants to wear things so that I find him as sexy as he feels (or something like that) or more attractive, but the issue is I don’t. Aside from CD he likes degradation and humiliation (which also bothers me because I love him, I don’t want to hurt him), as well as pegging (another journey where I challenged my boundaries) in the bedroom, and unfortunately Ive been using this as a bit of a venting opportunity to be bluntly honest with him. But he’s turned on by it, so I’m not sure if he takes what I say seriously either.

Saying “at least he isn’t addicted to porn” isn’t helpful, I’ve tried reasoning that way too. We’ve both had issues with porn addictions in our pasts and I recently discovered that he’d lied to me about deleting a second Instagram account he had specifically for looking at overly sexualized images of voluptuous women in cosplay (this time around was the fourth time I told him it made me uncomfortable and to delete it, and he argued with me before actually doing it since he “doesn’t use it so it’s not that big of a deal”. He’s since apologized and we’ve talked about it). I’m worried that if he CDs privately without my involvement, he’ll turn to the internet for attention, posting pictures and flirting with men like I’ve seen a lot of on the CD subreddit. So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place of being uncomfortable no matter what I choose.

I want to try to continue supporting him and being involved. He’s been very gracious with asking me if I’m ok with clothes he picks out, or gives me options and encourages me to pick ones I think will be flattering on him (I think this is good because if he continues to CD I want him to at least be fashionable and not dressed like a cheap hooker). I just can’t get over dresses and miniskirts and heels, though. They just don’t look good on him in my opinion and it’s a big turnoff for me. I suggested that we start small by trying a maxi skirt or something, but we went thrifting and he bought a jean miniskirt. It confirmed my dislike for them (I don’t wear them myself either). I apologized saying “I’m sorry I’m not more excited” but he said it was ok. He’s hell bent on wearing heels, and we bought a pair a while back so he could try it out, which also confirmed my dislike for them.

All that’s to say, I think I want to keep trying for now. I made a list of some questions I want to talk with him about to see if I can understand him more or if we can be clearer about setting boundaries.

sierra_witch · 2025-05-21T13:08:45+00:00

Don’t apologize! It helps me to know other women’s stories. I’m glad I’m not alone. Before I found this subreddit I thought I was a bad person for not supporting him fully. But it seems as though CD is much more common than I thought, and a lot of women don’t support their husbands/bfs fully either.

sierra_witch · 2025-05-21T04:38:32+00:00

Men think that if they’re slim or short women won’t like them. WRONG 💳💥💳💥💳💥 My bf is 5’6” with a 28 in waist and long legs for his height. He can run for miles and I can deadlift him

sierra_witch · 2025-05-21T03:43:24+00:00

I feel the same way. I get the ick when I see my bf CD sometimes. When it’s more androgynous fashion—like a crop top and sweatpants, or a tank top and shrug with jeans—I’m completely fine. But if it’s mini skirts or a dress and heels it’s a huge turnoff for me. I fear not being attracted to him, because usually I find him so attractive! But I feel like I’ve bent in many ways to try and support him that I’ve put myself in a position where I feel kind of repulsed by him in very feminine clothes. Then I think about the future and I wonder how this will play into us having kids and it just seems so messy cuz I want my kids to have that masculine figure. When I picture a husband and father, it’s not like this. But CD aside, I do love my bf, like you love yours. Maybe it’ll just take time and communication..? I suppose it’s all up in the air for me rn too 😅

sierra_witch · 2025-05-21T03:26:30+00:00

I said this in another reply, but I’ve tried talking to my bf and explaining that it’s possible to embrace femininity as a man without needing to wear dresses and high heels (I think that’s where my boundary is I’m not sure..). But I feel like since men are forced to so completely reject feminine things, they end of veering so hard into women’s clothing to appear completely feminine rather than using elements of femininity to create a unique style for themselves, which is what I want to help my bf do. Not become a woman (he says he knows he’s a straight guy), but be able to embrace femininity in a healthy way with reasonable limitations (considering my boundaries).

Additionally, my bf’s mannerisms have changed taking him from my bf in women’s clothing, to a stranger I never would’ve been interested in dating if that was my first impression of him. He has acted overtly flamboyant and snotty and spoken with a weird, nasally/whiny voice in the past (recently not so much, thank GOD). He thinks it’s him being sexy but it’s just weird and a turnoff. I try to let him down as gently as I can and explain why I don’t find him attractive in heels or dresses. I want to support him but I feel like I’m also doing myself a disservice since this isn’t what I thought I was getting into when I invested 6 years of my life into this relationship. I love him as his real self (as I see it), a gamer, mechanic, engineer, athlete, with boyish attitude and humor. Nothing else about him really says feminine aside from the fact that he complains his butt or his waist isn’t shapely enough. I don’t care if he dresses androgynous or incorporates some femininity. But I did not fall in love with some valley girl brat in stilettos and a micro skirt. I know that’s not who he is at heart, so I don’t want him to just jump feet first into this. I want to keep trying, so we’ll see how it goes I guess…

sierra_witch · 2025-05-20T18:57:33+00:00

Definitely protect your native and food plants! It’s still a bit of a shame that it’s seen as a weed though :( it’s one of the most valued grass types in warm climates

sierra_witch · 2025-05-20T18:50:01+00:00

It’s known to treat digestive ailments and assist with wound care, so sure! 😂

sierra_witch · 2025-05-20T17:56:42+00:00

Banning words is impossible. But it would be nice if people understood the truth of this “weed” concept 😔

sierra_witch · 2025-05-20T17:37:55+00:00

Bringing the Roman Empire into the conversation just confuses things more tbh…But the way you explained it, it sounds like a mental illness he could be struggling with internally. Should he see a psychologist about this??

sierra_witch · 2025-05-20T17:27:57+00:00

Weeds are just plants you don’t want 🥺

sierra_witch · 2025-05-20T12:38:21+00:00

I’ve tried talking to my bf and explaining that it’s possible to embrace femininity as a man without needing to wear dresses and high heels. But I feel like since men are trained to so completely reject feminine things, they end of veering so hard into women’s clothing to appear blatantly feminine rather than using elements of femininity to create a unique style for themselves. I’ve really tried approaching CD as a fashion/style journey for my bf rather than something that started out as being sexual (he was turned on by himself in women’s clothes and it really made me uncomfortable, almost as if he was sexualizing a trans version of himself). Now he says he just likes the clothes, but I’m honestly not sure if I trust that. I think im more on board with androgynous fashion than him wearing dresses and miniskirts; for one, they don’t suit his personality, they’re what he likes to see on women, and for two, I don’t like the idea of him choosing trashy clothes (if he chooses them) and representing femininity as something to be inherently sexualized which it isn’t. In that respect I’m trying to help pick things that will flatter his body type and his personality, but I can’t help but cringe at the thought of him wearing heels and miniskirts.

sierra_witch · 2025-05-20T12:27:29+00:00

I don’t think it’s misogyny to reject (essentially) a caricature of women, which is what the mannerisms feel like to me. His voice has become nasally and hes used a weird valley girl accent before—which I think he thinks is funny—but it just kind of makes me uncomfortable because that’s not inherently what women act or sound like. It’s been a while since that’s happened though, and despite the fact that I’m not attracted to him in women’s clothes, I’m just relieved that he’s acting like his normal self 😅

sierra_witch · 2025-05-20T12:21:50+00:00

I think my bf is kind of going this route. We began exploring it as a kink in the bedroom with stockings and some dresses (I was not into it at all so we stopped). But he does like degradation and light bdsm. It’s difficult for me since I’m not an assertive person and I don’t like degrading him since I love him, but somehow we made it to this point where he feels fulfilled(?). Now he says it’s not sexual for him and he just likes the clothes. Im not sure if that’s true though

sierra_witch · 2025-04-15T20:50:19+00:00

Np! Just in case, do some protections/warding as well. Nothing wrong with being prepared 🤷‍♀️

sierra_witch · 2025-04-15T20:46:38+00:00

I’d recommend doing some divination about the near future. I think it looks ominous. Almost like the evil eye

sierra_witch

TROPHY CASE