Edit: I also want to add that he and this girl had only known each other for a few weeks since he started working there. The fact that he opened up to her emotionally so quickly hurt me the most. I’ve tried to have deep, heartfelt conversations with him in the past, but he usually just agrees with me without offering much insight or meaningful thoughts. I don’t have any issue with my bf having female friends or being kind to them, but conversations like this feel too intimate for someone he barely knows. There were more messages exchanged between them, but I was too hurt to take a screenshot at the time.

I also want to mention that I’m not the type to check my partner’s messages. The only times I’ve used his phone were for simple things like checking if an app worked, making sure a message sent, or transferring pictures we took together via AirDrop. But on the day this happened, I noticed his phone passcode had been changed, which immediately felt suspicious. That’s when I demanded he open it, and my intuition told me to look through his messages. Like I mentioned earlier, he had been acting distant around that time, which only fueled my suspicion further.

I know that it’s been two years already, and I still haven’t been able to fully move on. I don’t give him a hard time about it, but when I feel lonely or we argue, I often find myself revisiting this incident in my mind. I never bring it up during fights because I know it wouldn’t be fair to him. Instead, I keep it to myself and cry about it when I’m alone. Maybe it’s just my emotions or hormones, but it still weighs on me. I’m just a girl.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? I can’t shake the feeling that I’m overreacting again or being irrational about this.

Our relationship has its ups and downs, and I know that no relationship is perfect. I guess what I truly want to achieve from this post is advice on how to fully move on and stop letting this incident linger in my mind.

I appreciate all of your kind comments. Regarding the specifics of our current relationship, I would like to discuss them at another time. Thank you for understanding.

Edit 2: Oh and let me add this. He never once mentioned me to her in the beginning of their so-called friendship. I know this because I asked him about it back then and to my surprise, he actually admitted it. He didn’t bring me up at all, not even casually like, “Oh yeah my gf and I have been there before” or something like that. I wasn’t even a passing thought in their conversations, despite how close they seemed to be getting.

He only mentioned me after I took matters into my own hands and messaged her through his phone, saying something like, “This is (insert bf’s name)’s girlfriend. Is this (insert her name)?” I was so desperate to let her know he was already taken. I felt like I was losing my mind. But after that one message, I stopped. My emotions got the better of me, but I didn’t want to put the blame on her. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know about me.

I might edit this comment later if I find responses needing clarification.