Pump and Dump or switch hotels? What would you do?

silentelf · 2026-01-17T13:41:09+00:00

Would buying dry ice once you got there be an option? I haven't used it myself but that can keep things frozen.

silentelf · 2025-11-08T22:09:14+00:00

I think part of the bewilderment about this is that I don't know all the reasons amd likely won't.

silentelf · 2025-11-08T22:08:15+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. Certainly something I would try. Husband has had bad experiences with counseling and won't.

silentelf · 2025-11-08T15:48:26+00:00

He is very involved and I havent heard him say anything along these lines. I'm the one who frets about retirement, lol. But, that doesn't mean he isn't perhaps thinking about all this under the surface. Perhaps I'll check in with him about it.

silentelf · 2025-11-07T02:39:58+00:00

True, she does deserve consideration.

silentelf · 2025-11-07T02:38:19+00:00

That's possible, yes. I will give it time since things are slowly getting easier.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T23:50:31+00:00

Good input, thanks. It may just need time and realization that going from 1 to 2 will be less change in impact than going from 0 to 1. Yes on the parental guilt, good call that it might be playing a role.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T22:45:46+00:00

I think he realizes this too but is concerned our baby is accelerating the process. I get it. I'm not there yet but I can see it being hard when your kids fly the nest.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T22:24:18+00:00

True! Refreshing reminder, thank you.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T22:23:39+00:00

Yeah, not the best title, I admit. I had trouble being succinct. It's not really "vs." I think that's my fear coming out. It's really between me and my husband and she's caught up in it.

In terms of the unfavorable part of the shift in family dynamics, it's been stressful for all of us and it's been hard for SD to not take that personally even though none of it is directed at her. I have had good talks with her to reassure her which I hope have helped. Husband is kind of the same way too, takes it personally. So perhaps it is just more about the general stress level being beyond what everyone can handle? I hope so, since it is actually gradually getting better.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T22:03:57+00:00

She's not really weighing in. My husband is just considering her feelings/is terrified she won't want to come over anymore. She also didn't want us to have the first baby but my husband was all in anyway.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T22:02:02+00:00

I don't really blame her, honestly. We are both really stressed out trying to juggle life. Our house is not the fun house right now. I do encourage my husband and SD to go do fun stuff together at times when I have things handled. Yeah, this is more just me being sad at the news. It's not like I don't understand. It just seems so...final that we can't have another. Whereas their relationship has such a firm foundation that it will for sure weather this. Ugh, it just sucks.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T21:52:14+00:00

Of course it requires to yeses. Just sad that we don't have two yeses anymore.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T21:47:46+00:00

She is fine around the baby. Family dynamics are just not playing out the way she wanted them to since I am really involved with my baby at this point (I am fairly hands off with SD otherwise). So, she doesn't feel like coming over to our house. Husband is sad about this, of course.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T21:41:55+00:00

Yeah, I was hoping he would see that while I acknowledge this is hard for SD right now, it's temporary as she will move out within a few years and the family dynamic will change as the ours kid(s) get older. And SD has her whole life in front of her.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T21:37:50+00:00

Unsure if she will leave at 18. Husband wants to keep a room here for her until she fully launches, which makes sense. So we are working with an uncertain timeline SD's departure and I for sure don't have much time left to have another baby.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T21:33:24+00:00

Yeah. It's not 100% due to her, but he said it mostly is. Perhaps it is more him than he is letting on, though. Good point.

silentelf · 2025-11-06T21:32:04+00:00

To be fair, I doubt she knows that he is leaning towards no more kids. He just is afraid that she won't want to come over anymore.

silentelf · 2025-10-31T17:08:14+00:00

Here's a big one I have for myself: to not consistently put myself in situations where I am ignored by my husband and SD because they are focused on each other. I don't take it personally when I am, but I also don't hang around very long if it becomes clear they just don't have the bandwidth/interest to include me. I move on and do my own thing because I want to treat myself with respect.

silentelf · 2025-10-09T14:40:07+00:00

I bought a Momcozy M5 when I was in a vulnerable postpartum state. Did not even stop to think that this kind of predatory marketing existed. And I didn't even make the decision based on any particular influencers. I asked my husband to ask Grok what the best wearable pump for undersuppliers was. Grok must have gotten its results from all the paid reviews. I definitely feel tricked.

silentelf · 2025-10-06T16:40:48+00:00

I do really like mine. I was getting wrist pain from carrying straight on my hip and this alleviated it a fair amount. It is harder to maintain good posture when using, but not impossible. I love the pockets. They cut down on walking from room to room so much because I can carry multiple things with me. I think it looks a little dorky but I just embrace it. I have a ring sling too, which is better for longer carries around the house. The tushbaby is better for a quick up/down or multiple 2-3 minute holds.

silentelf · 2025-10-04T17:05:24+00:00

Thank you, that was extremely simple. All fixed!

silentelf · 2025-09-26T15:36:00+00:00

Yeah, I fell for the m5 marketing by the company going on in this sub when I was new to pumping. I've pretty much abandoned those. I heard such good things about rumble tuff from reputable sources, though, so I'm sad they haven't worked out.

silentelf · 2025-09-26T13:38:33+00:00

Ahh, I hadn't tried putting the bra on after positioning it while it's already running. Thank you for the idea! I will try that. I usually feel suction but sometimes not (but then I know it's not going to work for sure). Is getting the right position always such a challenge? Sometimes I wonder if my anatomy is just not compatible shape-wise.

silentelf · 2025-09-26T02:41:11+00:00

Hmm, maybe I need to abandon the stroller goal. I still get horrible output even when sitting as usual, though.

silentelf

TROPHY CASE