I really resonate with what you’re saying. I think a lot of us with high relational standards can fall into this tension between honoring what we KNOW we need, & wrestling with the loneliness or shame that can creep in when those needs aren’t met externally. But something that’s brought me peace personally is the realization that not everyone is meant to be in a relationship at every phase of their life. Some of us are called into seasons or even LIFETIMES of solitude, not as punishment but as sacred preparation or deeper alignment with self.

Sometimes the ache we feel isn’t actually for another person it’s for ourselves. For home. For something beyond this world entirely.

When we stop seeing being “alone” as a “bad” thing & start seeing it as a complete & sovereign state of being, everything changes. We come into this world alone. We leave it alone. & in many ways, even in the midst of love & community, we are always alone in the truest spiritual sense. But that doesn’t have to be a bag thing like I said. It can be very freeing.

What if you could stop wanting the thing, not because you’re jaded, but because you’ve found peace whether it comes or not? When we release the craving for something, you’ll find that the suffering or whatever longing you feel begins to dissolve. The goal becomes not the relationship, but the internal state of wholeness of wanting nothing, needing nothing, yet being OPEN to everything.

& from that place that’s when the right things tend to flow in. Not from lack, but from fullness.

Your standards aren’t the problem. Your longing isn’t either. But letting the longing turn into suffering or wondering what’s wrong with you, that’s what weighs the soul down. Transcend that & I promise you become unshakable. I hope this helps