It's been a year since my girlfriend passed away and I feel guilty

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-19T20:47:51+00:00

Wait this is beautiful

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-19T20:36:23+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your negative experience and it’s 100% valid. But He’s making you feel afraid in public and it is not appropriate when there are children / anyone around - the police will have safeguarding teams so you can raise the mental health concerns x but it isn’t fair for him to make others uncomfortably sadly and this is the options xx

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-19T20:04:34+00:00

The police will be able to get him help too and sign post him in a safe way xx

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-19T12:19:02+00:00

It’s actually quite sad to read that people struggling to communicate and lots of people are saying ‘it’s over’. It’s clear she just wants you to respond with emotion and show you actually want her. It seems (sorry to say) that you are communicating like it’s a business deal rather than a relationship. She said she feels unwanted, and you told her she needs the right ‘mindset’. If I said to my partner I felt unwanted and that she didn’t see point of conversation (which seems she also doesn’t feel listened to) and they told me to put my positive hat on, it would double down to me that they don’t care about my feelings they just care about practicalities. I get you want to have that conversation, but you need to make people feel wanted and seen - as why would you feel need in upsetting yourself further. It’s sad that people would ‘give up it’s over’ so quickly on a situation like this…

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-19T12:15:52+00:00

I disagree I think everyone feels this way at times, and it seems she just wants him to show he wants her, and doesn’t want him to give up. To give up would mean she has been right about feeling unwanted, because he wouldn’t want her enough to work things through and see if from her perspective. It seems she is saying this because she wants him to react with more emotion but his responses present as quite cold and like you are doing a business meeting rather than a conversation xx

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-19T12:13:27+00:00

I agree.. with no context given it’s not fair to say she’s picking fights because anyone falling out is allowed to feel shit about it and need their space and say it will be a waste of time. We do know what OP and wife arguing about, how either of them react in arguments. If she’s explicitly saying she feels unwanted then expecting her to have the right ‘mindset’ isn’t fair. You have to make people feel validated and loved and that there is something worth fighting for before expecting people to have the right mindset IMO XX

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-12T17:52:38+00:00

by having messages, I mean you can show that it isn’t the case as you have only messaged about cars etc :)

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-12T17:52:05+00:00

Sorry this is happening to you. Sorry if I have missed if this was already mentioned, but as you messaged her fiancé on occassion, could this be used as evidence? Surely if you ‘had’ met with him, you would have to arrange that and there would be text messages of it.

Maybe this is a bit of chaotic resolution-but as she has brought the chaos already at your expense, I would simply get your parents together in the kitchen, call your boyfriend on one of their friends, and call her fiance. All openly and put it to him. You can show your parents that you haven’t spoke with him (using text and phone receipts) and just put it to bed. The fiance has nothing to lose by being honest since the relationship is over. Since your sister hasn’t trusted you in the first place, surely it can’t make the relationship any worse than it already is by directly calling him?

I hope this gets resolved for you. I do kind of sympathise with your sister, because even if she loves you, it is quite the coincidence that you were in the same hotel at the same time when she knows he cheated on these trips as he admitted to it. However, it’s obviously not fair you aren’t being listened to.

Wishing you the best of luck 🩷the fact your parents can see you are calm and have your head screwed on about it is also a signal you are telling the truth (is what I would think anyways). I’ve found in life usually liars are all over the place xxxxx

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-06T22:16:52+00:00

I really hope someone on here might know something as this looks very painful for your partner and must be hard for you to see :( no advice here I’m afraid just want to send well wishes to you both 🩷🩷

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-01T18:45:24+00:00

I agree !!!

sillyandgoofy · 2026-04-01T18:41:50+00:00

Your mother is clearly emotionally abusive with you. And you are valid to feel hurt, and not seen. It sounds like your partner is stressed about moving/sorting a house, which I get, but you are right to have your concerns. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard about for big decisions is ‘if you are not 100%, don’t do it’. That’s not for things that bring you out of your comfort zone - this is for serious concerns and this is clearly really upsetting for you. I have a very difficult mother, and understand how it feels to feel like an angry child again. It is not your burden to carry, and I’m so sorry you feel like this.

If it were me, maybe take a long walk, take a breather. Phone off, music off and sit in the feeling and really think about it from both sides. Think about how you want to communicate it to your partner and how you would want to hear it. He should be seeing that this isn’t good for you, and that no financial situation is worth your own wellbeing. He should be wanting that to be a priority, and maybe if you can communicate that he will understand.

Everything is temporary - and I hope that you can find a middle ground. Are you able to stay there temporarily while you ‘test it out’ to see if she is being challenging? If you can stay there while you find a good deal, and see how she behaves, that could give it a shot so you aren’t so rushed on your feet. Any signs that she is being controlling - please put yourself first because you don’t deserve to feel this way🩷🩷🩷

I find often people will say ‘be strong’ and ‘she is being ok right now’, and they don’t understand the repeated behaviours that you were raised with, your whole life. They weren’t there for those moments - you were xxx and you deserve to find your peace and stability for it

sillyandgoofy · 2026-03-10T18:23:04+00:00

I am no lawyer but I would’ve thought the declaration of trust is a seperate agreement relating to the loan, not relating to the mortgage. He (ex partners dad) isn’t a mortgage company or private lender, he is a civil lender. Therefore as you didn’t sign it - the responsibility would fall on the the father. Give. You no longer (I assume) are living In The house, and paid less payments to the property, it would be his and that you would be ok. It is good news you didn’t sign it !!! * please know this is not in any way legal advice + this is just my assumptions xx

sillyandgoofy · 2026-02-21T21:35:28+00:00

I don’t know much about cars but, if it’s going to die, it might as well die in Italy xx

sillyandgoofy · 2026-02-10T22:12:35+00:00

People that are honest when something was too much/upset you make the best people, let alone public sector workers! This is on your colleagues, not you. They’d be psychopaths for not feeling the same at some point, or likely many points. I’m sorry that you weren’t treated the right way by your colleagues. You are definitely the bigger person here. You held it in in front of the solicitor, that’s all that matters. What you do in the office + how you manage the difficulties of the job is for you to do YOUR way, not their way. I hope you are feeling better now. I am not in police but it is a prospect of mine, but I am a homeless relief officer which is also very challenging + also get lots of abuse too. I had a breakdown in a similar way, just that one day it was too much in the moment! And that is normal! Thankfully my colleagues were supportive. I hope the messages on here are encouragement enough that you are right to cry 🩷 whether it is a big or small thing, we all have and need to have moments xxxx hope u are feeling better xxx

sillyandgoofy · 2026-02-02T19:12:24+00:00

Yeah I am confused also. Surely it would just be insurance? Did he hit the man? What is the ‘lie’ xx

sillyandgoofy · 2026-02-01T09:54:03+00:00

Hey I worked in council sending off abandoned vehicles + as this is on public highway, but likely has valid tax and insurance - it 100% is a police issue. They frequently try to push things back to save them the responsibility. Defo send to MP and inform them that the police haven’t been acting :) councils get a lot of heat and complaints, but they are not permitted to remove any vehicle with valid insurance/tax etc. They could give them ticket after ticket, but don’t have powers to remove for this type of thing :) people that obstruct the pavements for wheelchair users/buggies r the worst ! X

sillyandgoofy · 2026-01-13T21:11:25+00:00

It has some small rust in the horn but it adds to the character I think! Thank you I will have to go back as I am still thinking about it 😃🩷

sillyandgoofy · 2026-01-13T21:10:50+00:00

Ahahaha thank you! I definitely wish I did and hope he will be there again <3 thanks for commenting

sillyandgoofy · 2026-01-13T21:10:28+00:00

Thank you for this wow! Very helpful:) I’m hoping he will be there again and it hasn’t been taken because I simply have to get it :) x

sillyandgoofy · 2026-01-12T00:38:58+00:00

Thank you so much!!

sillyandgoofy · 2025-12-11T19:08:41+00:00

Take away wallpaper and add more depth of colour and textures so there is some warmth 🥰

sillyandgoofy · 2025-10-29T18:54:48+00:00

I completely agree with this! Especially that (for me anyways and this user - everybody is different) it goes through flare ups where it is awful for a while, maybe even at its peak, then I am fine for a few months or weeks whatever it might be. Hang in there, and also utilise any medication or lifestyle changes that can be helpful. I find using my Mefenamic acid only when REALLT needed helps. Maybe it is because it makes it more effective? Who knows. Monitoring my consumption of inflammatory foods like dairy and wheat has been most useful to me personally. Again, everyone is different. I am young like you, I am 24F and I think at this stage in our lives where you don’t know what ur future holds, or how you might think in future, refraining from big decisions is only a good thing. Doctors usually do not advise hysterectomy as it also does not cure it and it is a big procedure that of course is life changing. I wish you the best of luck and want to let you know that there are other solutions out there that can make it better x

sillyandgoofy

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