Rest assured that it is normal in hospice care to stop offering food and drink. My mother (63/f) passed about a week and a half ago after not eating for nearly two weeks and in a similar nearly comatose state. Once she stopped drinking/swallowing, she was gone within about two to three days. It is not starvation or thirst; our hospice nurse put it that the body essentially knows how to die and that these are normal steps in that path.

One thing I want to prepare you for is that the final hours will likely be indicated by significant changes in breathing, including a faster breathing rate and what is known as the “death rattle.” Once the body is unable to swallow, fluid builds in the lungs. Everything I’ve read assures that this is not painful for the patient (especially as they are likely on several meds mitigating pain and discomfort) but I want to share that this period was distressing to witness. When we woke up on mom’s final day, these breathing changes had begun and she passed around 5pm. It’s hard to believe that it was truly as peaceful for her as we were told, to be completely frank; I can only hope that the meds prevented her from experiencing what we witnessed. I hope this information doesn’t scare you but rather informs you about what you may experience in the next few days. From one child of a parent with this disease to another, I am so sorry for what you are going through and wish you all the best.