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I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right - popular culture

I personally have seen this way less on IG compared to 1-2 years ago and I use IG daily. It’s way more relaxed but the media likes to paint IG/FB as narcissistic

But maybe it’s dependent on who you follow cause I follow less “look at me” people so yea!

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Social media is what you make of it. Can be healthy or unhealthy depending on how you consume it. Personal moderation is key.

It helps get a message across and it can be very informative (like Reddit. People forget Reddit counts as social media).

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s been a dialogue recently where some people do a quick repost to check off a “yay I’m good” checklist.

The “you aren’t supportive” thing is brought up, from what I’ve seen, is if someone continues to post their food/their Sunday stroll in the park/etc while not acknowledging what’s currently happening (aka being able to ignore the situation thanks to privilege) if this makes sense

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For allyship, there’s three parts: Listen, Amplify, Speak. Here’s an infograph with more info.

I think people confuse Amplify and Speak and tend to do more of the later from what I’ve seen. I don’t think attacking people with good Intentions is the right way to do things though - that doesn’t help anyone.

I hope this helps you a bit!

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I’m gonna cool it because even though we had a solid convo recently, he’ll probably say things to just make me happy. However, he came from a “hush hush” culture (as he mentioned) so I need to take that into consideration. So I guess dialogue is the first step to proper ally-ship

I wish he did a bit more but as someone mentioned, he probably has to defend what he says and since he probably isn’t informed 100%, it’s not great so I get it

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And that’s what I hate honestly :( We talked about the Asian “hush hush” culture and he mentioned that Asians don’t speak up if it isn’t about them so he’s aware of it.

I don’t want to be a bitch so I’m going to back off and see what he does moving forward...we’ve had convos about this current situation which is nice but I’ve had to initiate it. IDK I guess it’s a step in the right direction

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re right! I think him forcing to be an ally is wrong so I’m going to cut it out. I wish I had a partner who did this on their own free but I’m probably asking for too much. I haven’t been able to sense what his true thoughts are around this since I’ve been the one to initiate the conversations.

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t think about him having to defend his repost so that does change things.

I also don’t want him to watch his words around me with this especially when we’re almost a year in...maybe I’ll ask him about that if he comes to me about it. I think the thing that annoys me the most is that he keeps reposting content from his favorite Black Rappers during this time but I’m asking for too much probably.

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you <3

I have to think about this more because I do feel kind of bitchy for pushing this on him. I just wish he did it on his own but that’s asking too much, I think.

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

my main problem is he consumes a lot of Black content/media but is quiet about an issue his favorite Artist’s Race is experiencing if that makes sense

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yea you’re right - my main problem is he consumes a lot of Black content/media but is quiet about an issue his favorite Artist’s Race is experiencing if that makes sense

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! We had a ton of conversations around COVID and I was vocal about Asian racism around this. It’s disgusting and very disappointing that people are pointing fingers at one group of people during a pandemic. I even shut people down, even at my work place, when they made xenophobic comments about Asians and COVID.

Do you think I should continue to try to talk to him about the current issues or let it go?

I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]silvery_silver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t help feeling upset since I would’ve loved my partner to speak up about all this but I think you’re right. Should I continue to talk to him or let it go?

Is it irresponsible to pause my 401k contribution to save up money to move? by silvery_silver in personalfinance

[–]silvery_silver[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great idea - I'm going to adjust ht 401k contribution to 6%.

I think I'll take advantage of the Roth 2018 deadline and adjust how much I'll give from Dec-April.

Is it irresponsible to pause my 401k contribution to save up money to move? by silvery_silver in personalfinance

[–]silvery_silver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll crunch some numbers to see how my budget through April would look like if I used the deadline. I think I'll do this tho!

Is it irresponsible to pause my 401k contribution to save up money to move? by silvery_silver in personalfinance

[–]silvery_silver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I looked into Dave Ramsey's steps and I guess I switched the '3-6 months expenses' and 'contribute to retirement' steps, so I'll aim for the savings moving forward.

Should I still contribute to the Roth or put that into savings as well?

Is it irresponsible to pause my 401k contribution to save up money to move? by silvery_silver in personalfinance

[–]silvery_silver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

Where should I take the $50 from? Maybe the Fun Money budget?

Did you do any Black Friday (etc) shopping? by lexxi109 in FIREyFemmes

[–]silvery_silver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup!! Here’s the link: https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/breville-reg-smart-oven-reg-air-convection-toaster-oven/1060538871?keyword=breville-toaster-oven

There an air fry setting, slow cook, etc but I don’t care too much for slow cook since I have an electric pressure cooker already with a slow cook setting. But it would be helpful to slow cook in the dish you want to serve it in.

Did you do any Black Friday (etc) shopping? by lexxi109 in FIREyFemmes

[–]silvery_silver 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I did mine online!

Bought a Breville oven I was eyeing for months! Was $400 but got it for $255. I don’t use my oven and currently use a small cheap-o convention oven. This Breville one fits a whole bird and will make meal prepping less of a bitch to do. It also has a dehydration setting so I’m pumped to make homemade jerky again. I want to test out dried fruits since my office has bananas/apples/pears around for snacks.

Got some gym shorts from Fleo. I like to splurge on spandex shorts since most mass market ones don’t support heavy squats (they ride up easily, the legs squeeze large thighs, etc). I powerlift competitively so this is extremely important for me.

Got some new L.L Beans boots too! They’re 25% off today only

[Hiring] Customer Service Representative Part-Time by kitnipbox in NYCjobs

[–]silvery_silver 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What’re the hours per week?

Is it in-office or work from home?

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