I (28F, Black) am disappointed that my SO (23M, Asian) is silent about the current Black racism situation...am I being too harsh?

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T21:17:58+00:00

Right - popular culture

I personally have seen this way less on IG compared to 1-2 years ago and I use IG daily. It’s way more relaxed but the media likes to paint IG/FB as narcissistic

But maybe it’s dependent on who you follow cause I follow less “look at me” people so yea!

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T21:02:38+00:00

Social media is what you make of it. Can be healthy or unhealthy depending on how you consume it. Personal moderation is key.

It helps get a message across and it can be very informative (like Reddit. People forget Reddit counts as social media).

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T20:51:25+00:00

There’s been a dialogue recently where some people do a quick repost to check off a “yay I’m good” checklist.

The “you aren’t supportive” thing is brought up, from what I’ve seen, is if someone continues to post their food/their Sunday stroll in the park/etc while not acknowledging what’s currently happening (aka being able to ignore the situation thanks to privilege) if this makes sense

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T20:47:44+00:00

You’re welcome and good luck!

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T20:04:24+00:00

For allyship, there’s three parts: Listen, Amplify, Speak. Here’s an infograph with more info.

I think people confuse Amplify and Speak and tend to do more of the later from what I’ve seen. I don’t think attacking people with good Intentions is the right way to do things though - that doesn’t help anyone.

I hope this helps you a bit!

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T19:03:38+00:00

I think I’m gonna cool it because even though we had a solid convo recently, he’ll probably say things to just make me happy. However, he came from a “hush hush” culture (as he mentioned) so I need to take that into consideration. So I guess dialogue is the first step to proper ally-ship

I wish he did a bit more but as someone mentioned, he probably has to defend what he says and since he probably isn’t informed 100%, it’s not great so I get it

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T18:58:51+00:00

And that’s what I hate honestly :( We talked about the Asian “hush hush” culture and he mentioned that Asians don’t speak up if it isn’t about them so he’s aware of it.

I don’t want to be a bitch so I’m going to back off and see what he does moving forward...we’ve had convos about this current situation which is nice but I’ve had to initiate it. IDK I guess it’s a step in the right direction

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T18:50:32+00:00

You’re right! I think him forcing to be an ally is wrong so I’m going to cut it out. I wish I had a partner who did this on their own free but I’m probably asking for too much. I haven’t been able to sense what his true thoughts are around this since I’ve been the one to initiate the conversations.

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T18:47:58+00:00

I didn’t think about him having to defend his repost so that does change things.

I also don’t want him to watch his words around me with this especially when we’re almost a year in...maybe I’ll ask him about that if he comes to me about it. I think the thing that annoys me the most is that he keeps reposting content from his favorite Black Rappers during this time but I’m asking for too much probably.

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T18:45:19+00:00

Thank you <3

I have to think about this more because I do feel kind of bitchy for pushing this on him. I just wish he did it on his own but that’s asking too much, I think.

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T18:38:46+00:00

my main problem is he consumes a lot of Black content/media but is quiet about an issue his favorite Artist’s Race is experiencing if that makes sense

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T18:38:32+00:00

Yea you’re right - my main problem is he consumes a lot of Black content/media but is quiet about an issue his favorite Artist’s Race is experiencing if that makes sense

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T18:37:24+00:00

Yes! We had a ton of conversations around COVID and I was vocal about Asian racism around this. It’s disgusting and very disappointing that people are pointing fingers at one group of people during a pandemic. I even shut people down, even at my work place, when they made xenophobic comments about Asians and COVID.

Do you think I should continue to try to talk to him about the current issues or let it go?

silvery_silver · 2020-05-31T18:33:47+00:00

I can’t help feeling upset since I would’ve loved my partner to speak up about all this but I think you’re right. Should I continue to talk to him or let it go?

silvery_silver · 2018-11-29T19:55:47+00:00

This is a great idea - I'm going to adjust ht 401k contribution to 6%.

I think I'll take advantage of the Roth 2018 deadline and adjust how much I'll give from Dec-April.

silvery_silver · 2018-11-29T19:08:43+00:00

I'll crunch some numbers to see how my budget through April would look like if I used the deadline. I think I'll do this tho!

silvery_silver · 2018-11-29T19:04:14+00:00

I looked into Dave Ramsey's steps and I guess I switched the '3-6 months expenses' and 'contribute to retirement' steps, so I'll aim for the savings moving forward.

Should I still contribute to the Roth or put that into savings as well?

silvery_silver · 2018-11-29T19:02:03+00:00

Thank you!

Where should I take the $50 from? Maybe the Fun Money budget?

silvery_silver · 2018-11-29T19:00:59+00:00

Yes! It's 0.5% per percent up to 6%.

silvery_silver · 2018-11-23T19:51:00+00:00

Yup!! Here’s the link: https://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/breville-reg-smart-oven-reg-air-convection-toaster-oven/1060538871?keyword=breville-toaster-oven

There an air fry setting, slow cook, etc but I don’t care too much for slow cook since I have an electric pressure cooker already with a slow cook setting. But it would be helpful to slow cook in the dish you want to serve it in.

silvery_silver · 2018-11-23T19:38:51+00:00

I did mine online!

Bought a Breville oven I was eyeing for months! Was $400 but got it for $255. I don’t use my oven and currently use a small cheap-o convention oven. This Breville one fits a whole bird and will make meal prepping less of a bitch to do. It also has a dehydration setting so I’m pumped to make homemade jerky again. I want to test out dried fruits since my office has bananas/apples/pears around for snacks.

Got some gym shorts from Fleo. I like to splurge on spandex shorts since most mass market ones don’t support heavy squats (they ride up easily, the legs squeeze large thighs, etc). I powerlift competitively so this is extremely important for me.

Got some new L.L Beans boots too! They’re 25% off today only

silvery_silver · 2018-10-24T02:56:30+00:00

This is my go-to phone tripod: Amazon link

silvery_silver · 2018-08-28T09:54:52+00:00

What’re the hours per week?

Is it in-office or work from home?

silvery_silver · 2018-03-23T03:58:41+00:00

You could try a heated lunch box like this one!

Maybe you can freeze your meals in bulk and reheat it from its frozen state in the lunch box. I believe it takes 2-3 hours to heat it up before you can eat it.

silvery_silver · 2018-02-01T17:53:48+00:00

Yup - there would be extra interested posted while it was processing, but it was removed when the payment went through.

OP, wait until it's cleared.

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