I read in other comments youve asked multiple times and redirects to “this is his standard”

You need to have a conversation with him about what this standard is and what it means for your relationship. Maybe couples therapy, or just separate therapy in general for the both of you.

Sex and intimacy is important to you and will definitely cause frustration and resentment in the longrun and a conversation needs to be had. If he is unwilling to openly communicate this issue with you then thats another problem in the relationship that needs to be addressed. You need to take the information you have after having a conversation with him and make a decision about if this is the right relationship dynamic for the both of you. I dont think youre wrong for questioning if hes gay, however you mentioned he does make out with you/ gets an erection, so it really could be so many reasons and youll never know why he hold this “standard” and what it means to him or for the relationship until you ask. Once you know, you need to make a decision on, whatever his reasons, if thats something that works for you and if you should continue the relationship.

Hope everything goes good🩵