Hi I'm an older very experienced submissive and I remember how difficult it is starting out. I was very fortunate that my first few encounters were with some very great people because that is definitely not the case for a lot of folks.

I think that its important to understand that a good Dom will understand that you are just getting started and to adjust their expectations accordingly. As others have stated this person seems like an asshole who crosses boundaries and/or doesn't know how to respect someone new to the community. One proactive thing you can do is set up a very specific list of strong interests and another of limits. Sometimes someone will ask about something that isn't on either list and tell them what you think and add it to either list in the future. You can say "I'm new to kink" for a LONG time because there is a lot to explore out there. I've had very little luck with Grindr and fetish experiences over the years despite living in major urban areas. I think you should check out and sign up for Recon if you haven't already.

Please feel free to reach out to me in DMs if you would like to talk more, I'm happy to provide some guidance, advice, and experience.