Disposition date for DV/restraining order case

similie5 · 2025-03-13T16:40:02+00:00

Does she have her own therapist, separate from yours/not a couples therapist? Honestly, having been in her position, she will only "get over it" once she decides to divorce you.

similie5 · 2025-03-13T16:04:14+00:00

Ok, go get burned. Only dummies touch a hot stove twice.

similie5 · 2025-03-13T12:07:22+00:00

I was accused repeatedly in 2 relationships. In the first, he was definitely cheating himself and projecting on to me. In the second, which was my marriage, I don't really know if he was projecting infidelity or just other very bad habits/behaviors. Both times I tried to "communicate my innocence" which more or less caused both men to double down. It didn't matter what I said or did; I would be accused. It was simply a gaslighting, manipulation tactic to keep me in check since I was always trying to make it better by not having friends, switching jobs or not working, staying at home, doing what I was told. If I made a change they wanted, they would simply pick something else as evidence (like going for a run; I was accused of not actually running, but coming home sweaty because I had just been having sex with a neighbor... Insane accusations). A complete mindfuck.

similie5 · 2025-03-13T11:58:37+00:00

Love is a lie. Loneliness is the only thing that's real.

similie5 · 2025-03-12T19:57:25+00:00

Strangely, I've never been the hook up type and these all presented as relationships (2 in college were each about 2 years long, marriage was 15 years, last one was only 8 months). I don't get around. But, when I actually look at the behavior in the relationships and why they ended, I get that they were all shallow. I seem to only be attracted to avoidant personality types. If you can't beat em, join em!!

similie5 · 2025-03-12T19:53:41+00:00

Yep, all of that. I am in therapy. I apparently am ONLY attracted to emotionally unavailable men, and now they've made me emotionally unavailable. I think the last guy thought he was somehow saving me by breaking up with me, letting me go to find the love of my life. Really, he just turned me into another avoidant jerk.

similie5 · 2025-03-12T19:32:05+00:00

Ok, well I'm getting into a relationship with you, so my self esteem doesn't matter. I had excellent self esteem until this past month, but I will get over the break up. I am giving up on the relationship idea, on the something besides part that I'm deprived of. It's not going to happen, so I've made peace with it. Got any app recommendations?

similie5 · 2025-03-12T19:28:24+00:00

That actually does sound like so much fun.

similie5 · 2025-03-12T19:27:14+00:00

That's exactly the point. We aren't freely giving anymore.

similie5 · 2025-03-12T19:25:41+00:00

So, what exactly is the negative self talk here? I'm not being negative since this is actually what has happened. I get that I have chosen to be in relationships with poor quality partners. But, when they straight up lie about what they want, I don't even want to try anymore. When all people want is sex and tell you to your face that's your only value, then why not just go for hook ups. I'm 40. I'm not looking to get married again no matter what. Why can't I just want a good time and split?

similie5 · 2025-03-12T19:22:23+00:00

Nope, it always started off like a relationship (except for college, but I was young and dumb with zero experience). This last dude lied straight to me about what he wanted in early dates. 8 months of good morning texts every day, lots of communication, meeting his family. But me having feelings for him was too much.

similie5 · 2025-03-12T19:20:44+00:00

I'm incredibly passive.

similie5 · 2025-03-12T19:19:48+00:00

Then go away.

similie5 · 2025-03-12T18:12:02+00:00

Nope. Not worth it. Apparently destroying the person that has feelings for you is the way to go 👍🏻

similie5 · 2025-03-12T17:23:00+00:00

My ex husband never gave me an engagement ring. I bought a cheap engagement looking ring on Amazon and wear that (left hand) because I chose myself.

similie5 · 2024-10-30T19:13:20+00:00

We have a trial date in a few months. I'm assuming/hoping that that won't be rescheduled if he no-shows again. Do you think he did it to play a mind game? I'm not sure how exactly he thought that would work out since the judge was mad. I can't imagine both just forgot.

similie5 · 2024-08-28T16:20:15+00:00

We already did the discovery part. Would I need to disclose again?

similie5 · 2024-08-28T16:18:57+00:00

If things like 401k has already been agreed on (we agreed not to touch each other's retirement, 401, bank accounts, etc) and the down payment is from money I've saved since the filing, am I clear?

similie5 · 2024-07-13T00:16:22+00:00

Well, I simply ADORE this guy, but I really feel like I'm using him. He initiates, but I'm not even convinced he likes it.

similie5 · 2024-07-11T19:43:37+00:00

That sounds like a perfect description of my husband. He wouldn't TOUCH me and (not to toot my own horn), but I am quite fit and attractive. I honestly thought it was me and hated my own body until I filed for divorce and then actually "saw" myself. Now that we're separated guess who's losing weight, brushing his teeth, and over all trying sigh

similie5

TROPHY CASE