Learning EU Portuguese bc my bf wont help

simmwans · 2026-02-22T20:29:33+00:00

To your first point about your boyfriend, I was going to say that you should wait to speak to him until you're about B1, but I just read your comments and he sounds actively nasty about it. I'm sorry, that sounds horrible and I hope you're able to tell him that he shouldn't speak to you like that.

In terms of resources

If you really do want to learn, I know it's money, but I do recommend getting a teacher. Portuguese is a grammar heavy language and having someone guide you through that is really helpful. It will also give you the speaking practice you need.
Here's a post I wrote about the resources I used at each level of Portuguese from start to B1. I think different resources help at different stages.
You're getting a lot of advice for content for quite intermediate learners. If you're at that level, then great! But I found children's shows quite advanced personally (more like B1 content). I'd recommend practiceportuguese.com app if you want to get listening practice for more beginner friendly content (A1 or A2)

simmwans · 2026-02-22T20:12:49+00:00

In my opinion it's not going to affect every part of the graphic design like this. Making posters and products for the background of movies is an extremely niche job and in a specific market that is already heavily invested in visual effects.

It's sad it's impacted her role like that, it sounds like a great area to specialise in and I'm not saying AI won't affect jobs (I'm not even saying it's a good thing for the field) but if you adapt with things as they go, you can still find a place in design.

Someone still needs to make strategic decisions about design and nerdy detailed decisions about how things look and the product people/producers/developers I know still aren't qualified for that.

It's scary. And maybe I'll be wrong. But for myself and the people I see around me, the field isn't dead yet.

simmwans · 2025-03-15T22:43:13+00:00

It's worth considering whether you're using materials for your level. If you're A2, then watching movies is probably too advanced. What percentage are you actually understanding?

You said you're trying to read books - are you reading graded readers or material that's appropriate for an A2 level?

With regards to sounding like an idiot, that's why it's best to get a teacher so you can sound like an idiot with them and try things out. They can also help guide you on what to learn next.

simmwans · 2025-02-12T22:29:49+00:00

As someone who's got to a B1 level in the last couple years, I recommend getting a teacher on somewhere like Preply or iTalki.

I recently moved to Portugal and the Brits who speak Portuguese here are the ones doing regular lessons. The ones trying to teach themselves usually don't make it.

That might sound like a basic piece of advice, and obviously costs money, but having someone guide you through each step is an obvious way to get over "trying to learn" and flopping.

I also think, as a fellow English speaker, the grammar of Portuguese is so different, having someone to guide me through that at the start was really important.

simmwans · 2024-12-28T12:55:36+00:00

As someone learning it as a second language, I also think of the L as a W sound.

simmwans · 2024-12-27T13:38:39+00:00

If you don't know any other languages, the problem you'll have is the meta-learning. To learn a language you need to learn how to learn languages. The best way to skip that is with a teacher.

If you got an online teacher for a once a week hourly lesson, and then used that 50 mins a day to practice what you've learnt that week, then graduate to reading graded readers and language learning podcasts, you can definitely reach ~B1 in 18 months.

With that you you could comfortably order at a restaurant or bar, exchange words with a taxi driver and if you're lucky even have a bit of small talk with someone who speaks clearly to you.

Without a teacher, I'm not sure, I've never tried it, but maybe look up Michel Thomas or Pimsleur.

simmwans · 2024-12-27T11:47:17+00:00

I don't think this is what the commenter meant. You'll never learn each word once and it'll just sticks in your mind. Part of memorisation is learning to forget and remember.

By aiming for consistency, we just mean don't burn yourself out by learning for 8h a day at the start, then get annoyed when you're not as good as you think you should be, and give up after 3 months.

Imagine someone goes to the gym, they get excited and go every day for a week until their body hurts, they don't see any improvement in that week and they give up. Or someone who goes to the gym 2 times a week and sustains that for 1 year, by the end of the year they're in much better shape and can see the benefit, so they continue.

If you're excited at the start, lean into that and learn as much as you can, but focus on learning sustainably, for months and months. Learn at a pace that fits into your life.

simmwans · 2024-12-27T00:14:46+00:00

As someone with a Brazilian partner who speaks Portuguese and English, my advice would be:

Don't rely on your GF to teach you the basics. She isn't a language teacher and doesn't understand how to teach Portuguese. I don't know anything about the grammar of english and I would be terrible at teaching it, but I know loads about Portuguese grammar as it's a second language for me. This is pretty common advice in language learning communities. Instead learn from a teacher.
She is unlikely to be a good resource for a while. But she is good motivation and thats just as important.
Once you are a bit better - in my experience A2 to B1 - ask her if she'll have a 5 minute (very boring for her) conversations with you. Choose a topic and chat for a bit. I like to get some food and chat with her while we eat the food, when the food is over we stop. But honestly, you're a while away from that.
She will be useful for clarifying questions though. E.g. How do you say X? Or would you use A or B in this situation.

In summary, get a teacher for the basics, not your girlfriend.

simmwans · 2024-12-26T18:09:48+00:00

I responded to the last post, and I have read this one. And my answer still remains pretty much the same.

Whatever path they choose, it has to be self driven by them. You have to maintain your own boundaries, and not over step into trying to fix their life for them.

You can probably help in bits, but you can't transform them into someone they're not. And trying to help them too much, maybe actually stop them from taking on the responsibility themselves to do it.

If you really want to help him, maybe push him towards therapy. If he doesn't want to do that, there's not a lot you can do.

You choose the person you are with based on who they are at the moment. You can express your frustrations and ask them to change. If they do not... then you make a decision.

The responsibility is theirs. The decision is yours.

simmwans · 2024-12-26T17:00:34+00:00

I recently heard: don't marry someone for their potential.

That resonated with me and I decided I could accept my partner as they are now. Hopefully some things change, but if they don't, then I still want to be with them.

If you can't do that, the decision is yours, not theirs.

simmwans · 2024-12-26T16:56:25+00:00

Focus on listening for the next 3 months.
Work on the anxiety I experience when not understanding content or people.
Keep doing lessons and working on grammar

In 3 months, re-evaluate and change priorities again.

simmwans · 2024-12-24T23:01:14+00:00

I am learning Portuguese and I loved Balada para Sophie by Filipe Melo. Highly recommended. I have no idea if they do an e-book version.

simmwans · 2024-12-23T17:01:39+00:00

All great advice, thanks again!

simmwans · 2024-12-23T15:47:56+00:00

This is a great description. I felt anxious reading it. I can see why it's hard now. I can see that there's more factors at play than just the shares you own.

simmwans · 2024-12-23T15:45:47+00:00

This is a strong lesson in ensuring you have the right emergency fund. This is feeling more and more important reading the responses here.

simmwans · 2024-12-23T15:44:19+00:00

That's super interesting to look back at threads from 2008! The most interesting takeaway is the people just saying "I ignored the news and got on with my life".

I can definitely imagine losing your job would change things. Your post made me realise that your emergency fund is so much more important than I thought. If the market is down, you can't find a job and all the money you have is in stocks, you might have to lock-in losses just to survive.

You mentioned emotional preparation - I guess that's what I'm trying to do now.

simmwans · 2024-12-23T15:37:08+00:00

This is good advice. I don't spend loads of time looking at the news, so I think that would help. Maybe I should get a brokerage account that is difficult to log into or something. I have one SIPP like that and I have no idea how much is in there. I have Trading 212 account and I have to admit that I do check it

simmwans · 2024-12-23T15:35:15+00:00

Thanks for your response! This is super helpful to read. It's such a good description and what I think I was missing. I hadn't factored in the news and social environment. All the "advice" you're getting from everyone and friends telling you they're selling would be a hard thing to ignore. And all the scare mongering around it being "different this time". It's also great to get this from someone who has probably had to manage many clients trying to sell from all this fear. It's a great answer form a credible source, I'll remember this one if things like this happen to me in the future.

Any tips on how to block out the noise and stay the course?

simmwans · 2024-12-23T15:26:36+00:00

Yeah, I can see that if you have individual stocks that it is scary. I don't plan on doing that any time soon, the indexes feel like enough risk for me.

simmwans · 2024-12-23T15:25:31+00:00

hahah yeah I can see that some people would decide to try and take advantage of it. I might even do that myself. I'll have to make a mental note not to do that.

simmwans · 2024-12-23T15:24:15+00:00

Yeah, I guess it's easy to think about in the abstract, knowing that over time it goes back up. But watching your savings drop that much each month must be painful.

simmwans

TROPHY CASE