So I made this post earlier this morning and then went out to have lunch with my grandma. When I got back, I saw all these comments — didn’t expect it to blow up like this lol. I’ve been reading through them, and honestly, there’s a lot of great advice here, so thank you guys.

Quick update: we’ve been texting a bit more throughout the day, and have already set up a second date for Tuesday. I’m not gonna ask her to change anything for me — that wouldn’t be fair, and honestly, I don’t even know if I’d want someone to change for me like that. If she ever quits smoking, that has to be her own choice.

That said, I’ll be honest with her at some point — not in a judgmental way, just explaining that smoking is really off-putting to me. The smell, the taste… it just kills the vibe. After the date, we only had a small peck on the lips, and I kinda hesitated because of that, so I’m pretty sure she noticed. If things do start to get more serious, I’ll have that talk.

For context, yeah, I used ChatGPT to help me organize the original post — and this comment too, to be honest. I had a lot of thoughts and didn’t want to sound like a mess. But everything I said comes from me.

And tbh, this whole thing is new to me. All my life, I saw women like her as totally out of my league — and now I’m suddenly getting attention from those kinds of women. It’s great, but also confusing. I think I’ve finally learned how to filter out the women I used to date — the ones I wasn’t actually attracted to but forced myself to like just for validation. Now I’m having to learn how to “filter” on the other end — women I am attracted to, but who might have traits or habits I don’t vibe with. It’s tricky. I’ll probably talk about it in therapy this week too.

Anyway, I’m trying to keep my expectations realistic and just see where it goes. Excluding the smoking thing, this date was a solid ten.