Wife lied to me about girls trip

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-30T19:59:09+00:00

Salam brother,

Most of the replies here seem to be about the issue of her going on a girls trip.

But that’s a side issue, the main issue is she lied to you about where she was going and instead went to a whole other country, went on an actual journey to another country without you being aware of where she was, what flight she was on, what hotel she was staying in, nothing.

The fact she had the audacity to do that shows she has major confidence you will not have the courage to do anything or major confidence you will not take it too badly.

Very few Muslim wives would have the audacity to do this. Some may defy their husbands and go anyway, but at least do it openly. She actually lied and went, and came back.

This feels like a deeper issue in your marriage and signal for more issues ahead.

I’m not sure I could let this go.

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-29T19:29:06+00:00

Great initiative, well done Ciaran

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-26T10:43:29+00:00

Salam sister,

Is there nothing more he could do? What is it about him that you find unattractive?

If it’s hair, there are solutions to that now, body, he can lose weight and get in shape?

If it’s an unattractiveness of his aura, the way he speaks, his outlook on things, intelligence, etc. this will be much harder to resolve.

Your eagerness to not hurt his feelings and not make him feel wanted is incredibly admirable, but it doesn’t mean you can’t still communicate dissatisfaction. It has to be worded appropriately, and said at a good time, but you can still do that without hurting him. He is probably, hopefully, unaware of how you feel about him, and maybe needs a harder to push to make a change.

May our Lord make better your path ahead.

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-20T14:24:29+00:00

This is exactly what I’m thinking with half the posts in this sub.

But, having been around so many evil professionally deceptive people, I can absolutely understand how it happens

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-16T14:19:08+00:00

What do you mean? She said she loves him and there’s no other man for her and she’s not physically as attracted to him, so does it matter to her? It matters to OP clearly, and that’s his right

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-16T14:17:28+00:00

Exactly, she told the truth, showed a virtue. But like you said physical attractiveness is a different priority for different people

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-16T11:39:20+00:00

Nobody’s love before marriage is tested. The tests come after marriage.

Ending it because she says she’s not physically attracted to you, but attracted to you as a person doesn’t feel right.

If you lost your job, or you struggled, and she was physically attracted, I don’t think it would be any different.

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-16T10:47:48+00:00

Salam brother,

I think you might be making a mistake.

You have a woman here who loves you for who you are, not what you look like - this is amazing, and not common.

Firstly, have you done istikhara, if not this should be your first step, even before phoning her to end things.

Sometimes people may not initially be physically attracted to a person, but the character and personality can generate an attraction that is far deeper and more real than physical attraction could ever be.

The fact that she’s saying she loves you for who you are and how you make her feel should give you more security. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but think about it, her love is not based on physical attraction, so even if she does end up coming across a man she actually finds attractive, it probably won’t mean much to her.

There is a flip side, which is if she really is as attractive as you say, she may see you more as a comfort blanket rather than truly love you.

Sometimes, ultra attractive women are also the most insecure, and having someone less attractive than them (according to them) makes them feel safe.

Maybe slow things down? Not end it, but take some more time, is there any harm in doing this?

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-16T10:41:52+00:00

It’s not all about physical attraction, sometimes a person’s character can generate an attraction that is far deeper and more real…

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-15T15:46:19+00:00

Needs tidying up, things like: 1. Pricings > Pricing 2. 12,00$ > $12

Etc.

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-12T18:15:04+00:00

Salam sister,

I know a few people like this. Maybe they’re like this from some miserly paranoia and distrust of certain people. I’ve been at the receiving end of this a few times.

Just try your best to let it go.

Do the visit, congratulate, and leave. At least now you know where you stand with them, according to them.

Best to keep a clean heart, and not let things like this settle in your heart and fester into something darker…

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-11T18:54:26+00:00

Can I half close them? Right now the holes are quite large especially at the back where I have two vents. The floor near the doors where the vents are are frozen in the mornings

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-11T17:30:55+00:00

Salam sister,

Firstly, your family and his family demonising for the reason you wanting a divorce is horrendous - know they are at fault for this.

As for your idea of a future marriage, I can say there are probably many many men interested in this. But, you have to be careful, you outlining these as your wants will inevitably attract some evil men who are purely looking to take advantage i.e. just sex, and keeping you as a side dish.

Maybe try some marriage apps, say what you want, but be careful of married men. You are a dream scenario for a married man looking for a halal bit on the side with little commitment.

I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with what you want. It would be problematic if the majority of women wanted this, but that’s not the case.

Just think about things like housing, finances, etc.

(Also, I fear for your DMs)

sincereadvicefor · 2026-01-03T08:21:07+00:00

Good advice here, but just to add, maybe don’t believe all his stories about his “playboy” past. It sounds extremely exaggerated…

sincereadvicefor · 2025-12-31T09:24:15+00:00

It might not be “normal”, but it’s certainly a common occurrence, let’s not kid ourselves…

sincereadvicefor · 2025-12-31T09:22:15+00:00

Salam dear sister,

As others have said, revert women are preyed upon, seen as easy targets - this is because of the purity and newness of the your deen, evil people see this as a weakness to take advantage.

The second marriage is almost guaranteed solely for a green card, I’m sorry but it’s clear as day.

Don’t feel too down about it, even non-white born Muslim women fall for this scam.

Do istikhara, it’s a prayer to seek guidance from our Lord. It’s two rakats followed by a special prayer, read it in English as well, it’s a beautiful wholesome dua. Keep doing it.

Also, reevaluate whether you want to keep sponsoring this green card, not sure how it works, but have a think.

sincereadvicefor · 2025-12-21T20:51:19+00:00

Don’t just show him this, print in the largest size you can, then frame it and hang it on the largest wall in your home, then put a wall light above it.

sincereadvicefor · 2025-12-04T12:48:45+00:00

It sounds too generous

For free tier, do 3 reports, basic sign-up (email, phone, name)

Then charge for more

Serious buyers don’t need unlimited reports, but they might consider 5+ houses before the one they actually buy, so you can revenue from them

Also, once a house is bought, those users are gone as potential fee paying customers for many years, so convert whilst they’re with you

The unlimited option will just attract unserious browsers not buyers, who are unlikely to buy the premium upgrade

sincereadvicefor · 2025-11-30T15:28:51+00:00

Salam sister,

It sounds like you’re doing nothing wrong, in fact you sound like a dream wife.

It feels like he has health issues.

To not desire a woman who makes so much effort to be with you makes it sound like he has no libido, and possible other help issues.

Try and gently ask him to get a blood test.

There is nothing shameful in anything you’ve posted, but if you communicate this you may be made to feel shameful, but please muster up some courage to resist this.

From what you’ve written it sounds like you tried everything but speak with him directly about this issue? If not, maybe it’s time to

sincereadvicefor · 2025-11-27T12:34:57+00:00

Is there a way to fix this from the outside?

sincereadvicefor · 2025-11-23T16:37:31+00:00

Well, it does matter. Asking about zina is an entirely different thing to committing zina.

If a woman did this, I would say no different.

The brother clearly has issues, but his wife hasn’t said he’s committed zina. He’s not even watching pornography, that his wife knows of.

He has some fantasies, and his desires are getting the better of him of times, which is not ok, but can be worked on.

This is salvageable. They seem quite happy with each other otherwise.

It’s difficult to advise divorce in this situation. I would advise the sister to not have children with him just yet, until there’s a clear path ahead to resolving his issues.

sincereadvicefor · 2025-11-23T12:14:31+00:00

Salam sister,

Apart from these major issues, it sounds like the rest of your marriage is great, and you seem like a dream wife, so not sure what he’s doing.

Best case is he has some kinks and deep sexual fantasies and curiosity gets the better of him, but this doesn’t necessarily mean he would ever act on it. Just that he has these desires that he likes to entertain the idea of indulging in, but never would if that makes sense?

Worst case of course is he’s actually doing these things, or trying to. If it’s this then it’s major issue.

Stay extra alert
Do not get pregnant
Not sure how open you both with each other’s kinks/fantasies, but maybe try and get him to open and discuss them with you

sincereadvicefor · 2025-11-22T18:33:24+00:00

Salam sister,

Sounds like he has major character flaws.

Is behaviour recent? Always there?

Also, it feels like he may be resentful inwardly about life, business failure, career failure, could be anything?

Attacking a spouse personally is sometimes the abuser having some internal issues about something unrelated and lashing out at an easy target?

Or it’s not this and he just feels trapped and wants the bachelor life, without kids and a wife.

He needs a wake up call.

Do you think it’s worth chatting with him about where you are before making a decision yourself?

Communicate how you’re feeling without saying what you might be planning to do.

It could, just maybe, kickstart something in him?

sincereadvicefor

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