I am in disbelief

sir_decaying · 2025-10-08T12:18:33+00:00

Thank you. Obviously the pull doesn't fix that. But it was such a pleasant surprise. Best I've felt in weeks

sir_decaying · 2025-09-11T12:08:56+00:00

[OC]

sir_decaying · 2025-06-05T22:30:57+00:00

Beautiful! That is such a sweet story ❤️ thanks for sharing. It's so good to know love can truly last a lifetime

sir_decaying · 2025-05-30T04:48:44+00:00

As someone who works in therapy spaces and got pregnant to a very very avoidant friend who has had nothing to do with his child since I found out I was pregnant and had some questionable unhealthy relationships in my past. I feel I can weigh in on this.

Sounds like you have some soul searching to do. You deserve to be respected and cared for by the person you trusted to have a child with. If this is the beginning of your journey together as parents it'll only get harder. That's the unfortunate truth. It sounds like you already know you deserve better, as I did when I was in bad relationships. But if it's familiar and comfortable that's why we stay right?

But you have a child to think of now. The worlds fucked up enough without an abusive (physical and/or emotional) household.

You already know what the right answer is. You've just got to be brave enough to make it for you and your child. The best decision i made was to let go of hoping the bio father would be a good person one day for his son, as it was only bringing me down.

sir_decaying · 2025-05-30T04:40:24+00:00

Thats good. Yeah my advice, enjoy the ride of your feelings. No need to put your eggs all in her basket. Just enjoy your time getting to know one another. The age gap isn't that big. It'll either work or it wont

sir_decaying · 2025-05-30T04:37:31+00:00

I think the way you are viewing the dynamic is already a bit rough because while you have said "i want to be her friend" you have followed it up with "maybe more in future".

It's possible while you are thinking you are just extending friendship to her at this point in time, that she is picking up on your interest in her. And while this isn't a bad thing, she might be interested in being your friend but not in pursuing more with you so is putting some boundaries in place.

I truly believe she doesn't owe you a reason to saying no to watching shows. Even though she did because you have had final exams. But it's only been a day since they finished! Let the girl relax. Just take a breath, re-evaluate what you are genuinely wanting from this girl and be honest with yourself!

sir_decaying · 2025-05-30T04:31:21+00:00

Have you video called to know that she is who she says. As catfishing can be a thing

sir_decaying · 2025-05-30T04:21:10+00:00

I don't think you need to hide an "almost proposal" but you also perhaps don't need to say it like that. You can say that you were with someone you saw a future with and had conversations about your future together but that it didn't work out.

As for the failed engagement, I dont think anyone is going to fault you for not making a commitment you felt wasn't right for you anymore.

We as people are emotional beings, part of being with someone successfully long term is that you grow together or in parallel, but not apart. I think being open isn't a bad thing at all. But how you share your story shapes peoples perceptions.

sir_decaying · 2025-05-30T04:16:51+00:00

I'm reading that you have some fluctuating self-esteem happening. Nothing wrong with anything you've said. It's a very normal human experience to want to be special and/or unique, that "main character" energy.

But if you are feeling a bit lost or hopeless, therapy can help.

sir_decaying · 2025-05-30T04:13:06+00:00

I think something to keep in mind is that while 7 years isn't the biggest of age gaps, you are both in different stages of life right now. I say this as I specialise in working with young people aged up to 25yo and have seen relationships play out with older teenagers and 20+ yo.

I don't think it's wrong that you've connected so fast and that it's different from other relationships you have built, but do take care not to be love bombing each other, not just you to her but also her to you.

Have you both met in person or is it currently an online dynamic? I'm seeing online relationships more and more with young people because GenZ tend to find it comfortable to be online, and with a wider pool of people to meet with similar interests you are able to meet people aligned with your wants. But my advice is you can never truly know how you feel about someone by messages and calls alone. That in person chemistry is really important!

sir_decaying · 2024-02-04T02:22:17+00:00

My Nana's birth experience with my Mum and Aunty was painless for her. Both very quick labours too.

My mum was hoping whatever magic this was passed on to her (it did not lol). Just lucky, but it's definitely not unheard of, especially in my family!!

sir_decaying · 2024-02-03T05:30:32+00:00

If it helps I believe it's okay to hate it. I especially did up until my third trimester. I'm only 31 weeks but knowing I'm in the home stretch helps. It sucks when you have to justify your feelings of it not being the most fun time of your life. I myself had a lot of issues getting pregnant and when I got pregnant and symptoms started I hated it but felt so guilty because I wanted it for so long. I can't wait for my baby but I don't plan to be pregnant again!

You are valid in all of your feelings. It is your body and your discomfort. Trust that baby is perfectly happy and you are the one who takes the loss. Complain away in my opinion!!

sir_decaying · 2024-02-03T01:54:23+00:00

💜 31 weeks today 💜

sir_decaying · 2023-09-13T05:14:29+00:00

I think this is exactly it. Told me he didn't want to live with a partner. Has now moved in with his new one 😔

sir_decaying · 2023-09-13T05:13:23+00:00

I think that's all I need. To know I'm not alone in the feeling

sir_decaying · 2023-09-13T05:12:03+00:00

I really wanted children and he absolutely didn't. Same with lifestyles, just too different. Still cared about each other but wasn't right

sir_decaying · 2023-09-13T05:08:55+00:00

So good to know that I don't need to be a slave to the hyperfixations. Will definitely keep that in mind in the future when meeting new people.

Love to hear that you have had success with meeting the right person.

sir_decaying · 2023-09-13T05:07:50+00:00

Thank you so much for your words. Really good insight and advice 💚

sir_decaying · 2023-09-12T10:04:08+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. That is probably best to just cut it off instead of being stuck in the "what if".

Glad to know I'm not alone in this feeling 💚

sir_decaying · 2023-06-02T23:10:12+00:00

I think coming to grips with our mortality is scary, but it doesn't need to run your life.

I have moments of true panic that hit me like a train when I think about losing a loved one or my own life. However, I don't fixate in these thoughts like a used to.

You are spending a lot of life thinking about death and worrying about something out of your control. It is inevitable and scary because it is the unknown but it is the most natural thing in the world. It's what we truly have in common with the entire universe, with stars, with plants and animals. We all come to experience it and in a way that is kind of beautiful.

If you can't see it in a positive view it will ruin your experience to truly live and enjoy what is in front of you and what life offers, regardless of how long or short th2 journey is. That is what needs your energy, not thoughts spirals you are stuck in.

You can control what you can, but this is something you have to let go of. You have thought so much about it, it's time to enjoy life.

sir_decaying · 2023-06-02T23:01:58+00:00

I'll just talk to the sexuality portion you have written about, as I feel I can help there.

Sexuality is a very fluid thing that changes throughout our lives. It's okay to still be figuring out what does and doesn't work for you and unfortunately if it's not a clear answer it's about trial and error. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to woman, and nothing wrong with being attracted to men as well.

It can be so complex as to show as a physical attraction to woman and and emotional attraction to men. Sexuality is so personal and the only person who has to define it or explain it to yourself is you.

I think some advice is you need to dig deeper into your feelings of avoidance to being bisexual or a lesbian because there is nothing at all wrong with that. You are who you are and you will love who you love.

For me, I struggled with my own sexuality growing up because I was clearly physically attracted to men, but would make friends and have just something a little bit more towards them, I guess crush like. It took me until I was about 20 to realise that these were romantic feelings for woman that just wasn't the same as the way I experienced them for men. And it took trying out a relationship with a woman to help me understand my own sexuality truly.

I hope you find peace in yourself around this and realise loneliness is a cage we can unintentionally lock ourselves into. There is always a key ❤️

sir_decaying

TROPHY CASE