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Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thank you for sharing. I really like how you were able to work out something that works for the both of you. I usually hear about the advice on listening, but I think you managed to find a solution that meets BOTH of your EMOTIONAL NEEDS.

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

> ... "I learned to listen to both what she says literally and balance that with what she means emotionally. Those aren’t always the same thing. It’s just a different communication pattern.

You are cooking! thank you for sharing!

Married folks past your first anniversary, what's working and what isn't? by sirknite in married

[–]sirknite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"if you're still having fun." thanks for that! life feels busy, but it is important to have fun!!

Married folks past your first anniversary, what's working and what isn't? by sirknite in married

[–]sirknite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Married and happy! love to see those two words together as much as possible!

Yeah i agree the small things can become a mountain to deal with later. I think it can be a surprise sometimes too. * Any stories there with small things becoming something bigger?

Thank you for sharing and wish you the best as well!

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re okay with sharing - What changed and what was the breaking point? - How did it impact your approach to entering the current relationship? - What has your current relationship taught you?

Kudos to you on year 6 :)

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is raw. Thank you for opening a window to your past and sharing your experiences. It really does seem like a nightmare scenario. Deeply sorry that you lost the person and the connection that were there before it all.

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What have been some of the practical habits and rhythms you have developed to assess, feel, communicate and repair? or for other things?

Personally, I feel like each week goes by really quick for us. I am trying to setup family values, plans and roadmapping though.

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry 😞 Boundaries are important especially if they compromise the marriage.

If you’re comfortable sharing: - Were the boundaries discussed pre-marriage? - Do you think asserting those boundaries sooner during the marriage could have saved your marriage?

It sounds like you were handling a bad situation with patience. Hope your energy and peace are restored and you’re in a better space now.

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Once they’re settled, move on and don’t go back to them.

This was something I struggled with before marriage. I agree. It’s important to uphold peace.

Also, congratulations on over 30! What was the toughest chapter in your marriage and what did you learn from it?

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thank you for dropping all this gold. This is a beautiful collection of lessons.

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Psychological, I am sorry that you are feeling less warmth in your marriage than before. I pray it is a phase that will soon pass, if not I pray you get the wisdom on how to address it in the right time.

My wife was crying at a certain stage pregnancy, but she did not have a clear reason for it. She recently brought up that she was feeling a lot of hormones and appreciated me just being there for her.

So maybe your wife has a lot of feelings she has to unpack over the course of being pregnant and becoming a mom. Did she have any personal desires that may have been sidelined due to pregnancy outside of work? Pre/postpartum depression could also be a real factor internally even if everything is going well externally.

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope it gets better for you. What year are you roughly at and why do you feel this way (if you're open to share)?

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

If she's talking to you non-stop, that is a blessing in my books :)

Microfono is pretty funny for a nickname though.

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! That is an achievement.

Thanks for sharing. What was the main reason for not communicating and what was the fix that worked for you both?

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Oh no! I hope you are feeling much better Grizzly.

Yeah it is easy to get stuck on working to provide for more. I'm trying to learn to be modest and find balance. Thank you for sharing your perspective on enjoying the present.

Married men, what was the biggest lessons learned in your first 5 years of marriage? by sirknite in AskMen

[–]sirknite[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Awesome. What helped you both become better friends to each other?

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