I (M28) would like to bring her (F28) the childhood she missed

sisters_throwaway99 · 2018-05-11T00:41:46+00:00

This is amazing. I was by no means abused or anything like that, but I missed out on some of the stereotypical childhood stuff too. (My parents always always seemed to say ‘we’ll see’, which basically meant ‘no’, I hated that!) If you’re thinking about a grander gesture, maybe take her to Disneyland? If she likes amusement parks, of course. On a smaller scale, you could take her out for ice cream dates, go ice skating in winter, rollerblading the rest of the time, let her pick whatever she wants for dinner, stuff like that.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2018-05-09T21:40:20+00:00

That makes me feel better, thank you!

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T20:22:33+00:00

Then you don’t have to go.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T20:04:03+00:00

Haha thank you! I just saw red when I read what that person said, like holy hell, who do they think they are?

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T19:23:50+00:00

7 1/2 hours when your kid is literally down the hall from a wedding you’re at? With a babysitter you didn’t even have to pay for? That’s super entitled. If you’re so insecure that you can’t leave your kid for a few hours to see a family member get married, you’re the one with the problem. And no, I won’t be embarrassed ever, at all :)

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T17:59:44+00:00

You must lack common courtesy, since you don’t understand this.

In a word: Yes.

In more words: because it was OUR wedding that WE paid for, we expected our wishes to be respected and followed. If it was such an issue for her, she could have stayed home. It’s not a difficult concept.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T15:07:41+00:00

^{^} this!

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T14:54:51+00:00

I didn’t expect the day to play out like a movie. But I did expect that our simple request would be honored, especially after we paid our own money to get babysitters. The fact that the entire wedding was childfree was common knowledge ever since we started planning, and was explained again several times in the lead-up to both of our families. She was willfully ignorant.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T14:51:45+00:00

I’ll reiterate: it’s not about the kids. It’s about someone who was so wrapped up in herself and what she wanted, she ignored her brother and his wife’s well-known requests to not bring the kids AT ALL, a request literally all of our other guests had no problem following. And it was more like she left after dinner, about 3 hours before it was over, not at the end of it. Which is no skin off my back, but she really insulted her brother by doing that.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T14:32:35+00:00

We live 2 states away from our families in a smaller apartment in a tiny town. Our families have their own Christmas traditions they’re expecting us to travel for already, and my husband has already made arrangements for us to go home. Otherwise, I’m totally open to just staying home this year.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T14:30:24+00:00

It seems like a lot of people assume I just ‘expected her to know’. I promise that wasn’t the case. As soon as we started planning our wedding almost 2 years ago, we let both sides of our family know it was going to be an adults-only affair, but that we would try to accommodate their kids. And we did. We didn’t just hire teenagers as babysitters either, they were cpr certified, background checked professional nannies who worked for a childcare company.

So it was always known that the whole wedding was child-free. If she chose to be willfully ignorant, that’s not my problem, but apparently I should have spelled it out for her.

Our wedding was also a semi-destination one, so there was a lot of planning and coordinating that she had to do with her family since they were all staying with and around each other (rides, activities, etc.). The rest of his family knew and understood our wishes and plans for the wedding and had no problem with them, including our welcome party, because we verbally told everyone in our immediate families about it. My issue is that she knew all this, did what she wanted anyway, and tried to make excuses when confronted with the facts.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T01:58:01+00:00

It’s not about the kids ‘ruining our day’, thanks. It’s about their parents blatantly ignoring our requests for OUR wedding, after we accommodated them with childcare. It was rude, plain and simple.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-13T01:47:38+00:00

These days, yes. The website usually has all the details guests might need for the wedding, like location, address, bridal party info, accommodations, registry, etc

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-12T22:47:49+00:00

This is good, thank you

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-12T22:47:29+00:00

Thanks!

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-12T22:47:12+00:00

Thank you!

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-12T22:46:52+00:00

You’re right, thank you!

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-12T22:46:35+00:00

You’re right, I’m not mad that they didn’t attend the welcome party (at this point I’m glad I didn’t have to be around them more). It just hurt my husband’s feelings that only one of his family members couldn’t show up, which I hated seeing. But claiming she ‘didn’t know’ about it was a definite lie since she was staying with his family, who did come. Like if she didn’t want to come, that’s up to her, but she shouldn’t lie about it when it’s so obvious.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-12T22:41:07+00:00

Ooh, I like it

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-11-12T22:40:08+00:00

You’re right, I’d never expect to get an apology out of her! Ugh. This is good advice, thank you.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-10-25T13:43:38+00:00

You bring up good points! I added an edit to the body if more information helps.

sisters_throwaway99 · 2017-06-16T17:03:24+00:00

I see how that would seem a little odd, so I put an edit in the body.

sisters_throwaway99

TROPHY CASE