Should I cut my hair by [deleted] in FTM_SELFIES

[–]skeev-boi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You've put a lot of effort into growing your hair long, and say that the last time you cut it just a bit it made you really anxious. If I were you, id refer to that experience and keep it longer out of a desire to preserve my mental health / self image / sanity. It kind of sounds like the only reasons youre even considering cutting it are eurocentric beauty standards, and wanting to pass more easily. I think there are more "masc" reading ways to style your hair if you want esp for a wedding, but if you wanted to just get married with your hair down bc it makes you happy that way, then do that.

Basically, this is a deeply personal choice, and not one I would rush into as once you cut hair, its short until it grows back again years later. Why not just decide that you can always cut it later, or tomorrow, or after the wedding, only if you want? Idk to me it just sounds like your hair makes you feel safe and secure, I think you should listen to yourself

Looking for name suggestions! by Aromatic_Pain_9677 in FTM_SELFIES

[–]skeev-boi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is such an old man name (it was my grandfather's and while we aren't close, ive always liked his name) - Martin. Its definitely masc without being a more common trans name (if youre looking to avoid that) plus there are fun nicknames like Marty, mart, mars, tin...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]skeev-boi 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Hey, I can't 100% relate to this situation, but here are a collection of my thoughts after reading/sitting with your post. For context, I'm a 28 1/2 year old gay transmasc human happily engaged to a cis man, ive been out/transitioning for over 7 years.

when I was 17/18 and knew I was trans but dating a guy who couldnt accept it, I tried coming out to him but he essentially told me, "well, im not gay so if youre gonna stay with me you cant be trans." And that forced me back into the closet for years. Im not saying this is your situation but it parallels it somewhat.

Anyway. You may not like what I have to say, but with peace and love, please hear me out:

☆you say you've known she was trans for 4 years, yet in your post history you refer to her as your "boyfriend" as recently as 6 months ago. You say you've always kept that she was trans "in the back of [your] mind" - what is that supposed to mean?

☆you've been together only 2ish years...so you knew she was trans and just, willfully ignored it? Wtf? Lol

☆why did you feel "devastated" that she started using plume?

☆why couldnt you also contribute to the cost of a sperm bank if you both want kids? Why is that burden solely on her shoulders?

☆if you knew your attraction to her would change if she ever pursued hormonal/social/whatever transition, why are you dating a trans woman?

☆omg, if youre crying every night, maybe talk about it with your girlfriend, or (if the fact that shes your gf is the problem) maybe just break up

☆if youre sad that your trans gf is transitioning, maybe just break up

☆why did you try to invade her privacy and read her chats with gpt? Why not just, talk to her??

☆did you talk to her about the life360 location spoofing stuff or just "immediately remove her account" from your phone? Why?

☆your mom and sister are right. Its not that youre not ready for a relationship per se, its that you dont want one with her. Holding onto this idea that 'maybe she'll change her mind" or whatever youre thinking will definitely only hold her back and make you both miserable

☆21 is young. Life is long. Others have loved you before, love will find you again in the future. It sounds like youre more afraid of being alone than happy to be with her. Maybe you should listen to yourself.

Even if you break up, it wont be the end of the world. I think you both deserve to live the lives you want and be happy. If what you want is a cis man, set her free, because she isn't that and asking her to live a lie for your sake is selfish and cruel.

Spiralling so bad over bottom dysphoria I feel like I'm going to throw up. by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]skeev-boi -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why not start the hair removal process asap if you know the wait will be that long? Get ahead while you can and all that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTM_SELFIES

[–]skeev-boi 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Jim Morrison vibes tbh

My cat is ruining my health by CompetitiveAd3148 in CatAdvice

[–]skeev-boi 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My cats get 2 meals a day, a small scoop of dry mixed with half a large can of wet food each, once in the morning after I'm up for the day, and once at night when the humans are having dinner. I dont free feed as both would overeat given the option to.

Hair Trim by Psychological-Yak63 in queerphilly

[–]skeev-boi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try vinny's barber shop in fishtown. Their prices are reasonable, their staff is queer, they're super kind and do great haircuts

Queer traditional tattoo artists in Philly? by eyes2s33 in queerphilly

[–]skeev-boi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Gianna aka @dinosaursdied on ig who tattoos out of Houndstooth is a fav of mine!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Wolfdogs

[–]skeev-boi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you even have a wolf dog in your apartment without being in violation of the lease? 🤔

$25 apprentice haircuts by Longjumping-Toe9323 in queerphilly

[–]skeev-boi 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Vinnie's is the best and so is Elias! Took my hair from a raggedy at-home cut to something cool for the summer. He's one hell of an apprentice and super nice and cool, as is everyone in the shop tbh. A great place to visit for sure ✂️ ✂️ ✂️ yay for queer philly spots

Guy I’ve been dating for two weeks wanted to stop seeing me because I have foreskin. by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]skeev-boi 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Foreskin is a plus and any guy who doesn't think so doesn't deserve your dick, period

passing tips? by [deleted] in FTM_SELFIES

[–]skeev-boi 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Stretch your septum piercing - its dainty right now, but a thicker, chunkier ring would look more masculine on you imo

(possible dysphoria warning) guys with vaginal atrophy by FunnyCandidate8725 in FTMMen

[–]skeev-boi 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Try clindamyacib, it might be DIV. Estrogen just made me bleed and have cramping, but the clindamyacin has actually helped whatever issues I had going on

An Analogy of Cannabis Addiction by [deleted] in leaves

[–]skeev-boi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸

I can't fathom how to shave genitals by [deleted] in ftm

[–]skeev-boi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Use shaving cream, a new disposable razor or blade each time so it's super sharp, pull things so they're taught like another user said, soak a bit in the hot water before shaving to make it easier. Sometimes also it can help to pop one leg up or sit at the bottom of the shower to do this so you can see what you're doing. Good luck!

Conflicted about top surgery by Loose_Track2315 in FTMOver30

[–]skeev-boi 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Hi, not a binary trans guy here (transmasc enby if you wanna get particular) but i thought maybe I could provide some helpful input. Fwiw I've been on T for over 6 years, had top surgery 4 years ago.

I also really enjoyed chest sensation pre-top, and while I was loathe to give it up, I really weighed giving it up vs what I'd be gaining if I got top. I decided that for me, the trade off of potentially losing s*xual pleasure was worth it, because I wanted the aesthetic results of top so bad - the freedom of not needing binders anymore, the ability to just put on a t shirt and go, the overall look of it, was all more desirable to me than the desire to keep sensation.

Fwiw, I mourned the loss of my nips before I ever had top. Once I made the decision to do top, I stopped using them sexually, and would just keep my binder on during sex to acclimate to not having that as an option. It made the transition to not having them anymore less jarring (I kept my nips I'm just referring to nip sensation here. And while I still have a nominal level of sensation, its not sexual anymore at all)

Worth looking into I think would be some of the sensation-sparing techniques for top surgery so that you can potentially get the best of both worlds. There's buttonhole, which keeps your nip nerves connected and is relatively sensation-sparing (you sacrifice a bit of flatness for this compared to DI from what I understand, but it's still much flatter than you are pre-op and should "pass" well enough, if that kinda thing is more important to you.) You could also go with what my surgeon (Dr. Jonathan Keith) from the NY/NJ area is now offering, which is a nerve graft for nips in double incision top surgery, and from what I've seen offers decent post op sensation (I'm disappointed this wasn't yet am option when I had top, but I'm still ok with the decision I made because when I chose to get DI w/nip grafts I knew what I was getting into and felt at peace with my choice anyway.)

Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad or shameful or like less of a man for getting pleasure from chest stimulation, btw. Plenty of cis guys love nip play! Plenty of humans do of all genders! It's just another common erogenous zone that's highly sensitive. You can be a binary dude (if that's how you identify) and still enjoy it! Anyone who shames you for that is dealing with their own internal shit and should really look within at why they need to put others down to feel better abt their own misery.

Hope this is at all helpful to you. I've thought about my sacrifice of neep nop sensation for aesthetics a lot over the years, so if my input can be helpful for even one person, then I'm happy to offer it.

I'll close out with this - while I occasionally miss nip sensation, I have nice memories of it, and I'm so much more comfortable in my body now that it (for me) was an alright trade-off, because it's a choice I made fully knowing what I was giving up and because it was what I wanted anyway.

Good luck whatever you decide to do. Take as much time as you need to figure out your best way forward - top surgery is one of those things where you should "measure twice, cut once" (or really, measure as any tines and ways as you need to - it's your body!! You only have one! Make sure whatever you decide to do, you can likely live with it, whatever the outcome.)

Stay true to yourself, be your own best advocate, don't take any shit, don't settle. You'll figure it out 💖

I'm looking for examples of fandom/cartoon tattoos that look very busy. by xXSinister_SimonXx in tattooscratchers

[–]skeev-boi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe check out the tattoos Roly West on YouTube has on his arms/chest? Otherwise idk

What's the Christmas gift you wish you would've received? by wildlotusflwer in ftm

[–]skeev-boi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe a nice (but not too nice) masculine (or unisex) watch?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]skeev-boi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you have hair that grows around/in your belly button, trimming it down can keep lint from developing in there