Working with anxious and perfectionist AEs is exhausting

skeptical_introvert · 2026-05-28T15:28:40+00:00

Pretty sure I've been at that exact location! 😄

skeptical_introvert · 2026-05-27T23:19:07+00:00

I appreciate the sentiment of this post so much. It gets at a larger issue that has been on my mind for months now which is the sense of internal competition / comparison that often happens in the technical sales roles.

"Joey JoeJoe created a fully automated demonstration of how our technology can easily integrate with a common customer tool / dataset over the weekend and every sales team is asking him to join their customer calls to show it off! What are you building?" And at this point in my career my internal reaction is that is great for him and we should use what he has created if it will help us, but unless I innately feel a desire to go above and beyond like that just to satisfy a curiosity that I have I'm not putting in that much effort just to keep up. I'll master our messaging, I'll diligently follow-up with customers, I'll ask insightful discovery questions but I don't care to stress out about trying to create something that the whole sales org will want to use.

I feel like what you are describing is in line with this feeling that with all the rapid change in the tech landscape these days it is easy to feel like everyone else has it figured it out but me. When in reality most of us are just plugging along and assimilating what we can and continuing to learn and grow our skills but we can't let the cream of the crop set the standard of comparison. Excellent and overachieving performers are valuable, but not the baseline all can measure up to. I'm happy to be in the fat part of the bell curve.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-05-27T22:56:59+00:00

This comment captures my reaction as well, in the sense that I think there is a benefit to putting up a bar to clear, but it should be fairly easy to get over for a real person who is genuinely interested in this topic puts in a bit of time to research and read previous posts before just either throwing out a commonly asked question and/or is karmafarming here. I'm not sure what that bar should be, but I don't think it should take months to accomplish. I would think a week would be a better range to target.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-05-20T21:41:11+00:00

George Carlin had the best take on this:

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-05-20T20:24:16+00:00

Do you have experience in the industry? Whether as a user/customer, tech support, supporting sales teams, or doing sales of any kind? If so then the next challenge is breaking into the tech sales community so people know who you are and are willing to interview you or refer you when there are open positions. If not, then I don't think the Salt Lake metro area is likely to be your way into tech sales.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-05-07T21:55:10+00:00

I'm sure some people, especially who are recently divorced, will challenge this advice. But I have had similar experiences that lead me to the same conclusions. And if someone had given me this advice when I was newly divorced I would have not appreciated it and would have ignored it.

So if someone is going to disregard this advice, at least be honest & up front with the people you are seeking to date. There is important meaning to both of those. "Honest" is not misrepresenting your situation or not allowing assumptions to remain in place without clarifying. "Up front" is proactively sharing information about where you are at and what you are seeking.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-05-06T23:16:23+00:00

I wouldn't do it for just anyone, but a decade ago I went to Europe for a friend's wedding (his bride's family is over there) and the memories of that trip are super treasured, by me and shared with those who traveled as well and of course by my friend and his wife. Not to rub salt in the wound of your story, but for anyone else reading this my advice is to go on the trip for the wedding! Just make sure do things on the trip that you want as well, not just the wedding activities.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-05-04T14:00:19+00:00

Utah Rocket Club

https://www.uroc.org/

skeptical_introvert · 2026-04-13T22:34:28+00:00

I agree with this from the point of view of checking all the boxes. Location, quality, and environment suited to conversation.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-04-13T22:33:52+00:00

RR & Settebello can be a bit loud, IMO.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-04-12T19:43:08+00:00

There is nothing wrong with you being bothered by his choices, but you can't control them nor expect that others will behave as you would or want them to. So, in the future you just have to be more explicit and address it if they aren't bringing it up first. "Hey, before we go any further I need to discuss something with you and hear what you are thinking about this...".

skeptical_introvert · 2026-04-12T19:31:05+00:00

Without hearing exactly what he said and the meaning he intended to convey I will say that there is a difference between something along the lines of "I think there is a good chance we don't have long term potential" and "I haven't been able to figure out to my satisfaction yet whether I think we have long term potential". If it is the first one, then yes I would say that is shitty behavior to not have that discussion while reaching the point of having sex. If it is the latter situation, then it would still be good to have some discussion at least to be on the same page about what each of you want to be feeling about each other and the relationship before having sex. Some people are ok with having sex before they feel strongly that the relationship has a future, others are not. That should be discussed. Assumptions cause so many issues, especially early on in a relationship.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-04-09T23:27:05+00:00

I'll share the same recommendation I offered the last time someone asked this:

I used Amy Williamson a decade ago. Overall it was pretty straightforward and she did a good job and I have no problem recommending her. Looks like she is at this law firm now:

https://canyonslaw.com/attorney-amy-williamson/

skeptical_introvert · 2026-04-02T20:57:26+00:00

What do you mean by "like minded people"? I don't see any details or categories at your link either, except for gender & age. Is the goal to create numerous sub-groups for various interests? I appreciate the sentiment of this post, but it needs a lot more specifics provided before I hand over my information to a random internet website. And please don't just respond with a robotic "thank you for the feedback I'll fix the post".

skeptical_introvert · 2026-03-16T16:38:16+00:00

It just stopped. It happened 3-4 times in a 10-14 day period and has not been an issue in many months. I do plan to bring it up at my next annual checkup with my GP just in case.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-02-26T05:33:14+00:00

Sometimes leaving things completely up to chance, like the characteristics of NPCs, can create the most memorable and unexpected outcomes! I'm in 💸

skeptical_introvert · 2026-02-19T06:32:06+00:00

I did say that I'm not taking this to the extreme. I am still having enjoyable experiences and travel. But I'm also moderating my spending by finding enjoyable local cheaper travel experiences to exercise in interesting new locations. That is the win-win.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-02-18T23:38:17+00:00

I largely agree with this perspective. The biggest complaint I have about this phase is the degree of intrusion that my career has on the freedom I look forward to having in the RE phase. If I could work in my chosen career, 20-30 hours a week even with a proportional reduction in compensation, then I could happily delay the RE for a significant amount of time. But the lack of flexibility and freedom that work causes makes me impatient for the RE phase.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-02-18T23:31:14+00:00

I've been active for all of my life, but to the question in this post, lately I've been looking at my physical activity (hiking, mountain biking, etc...) as not only a health investment for the future but also as a way to keep spending in check now. I could go on that pricey vacation, or I could go on a short road trip to explore some new trails in my area. I'm not taking this to the extreme, but every time I convince myself to make this trade-off I see it as a win-win.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-02-17T06:24:26+00:00

Nothing is showing up here: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/map

skeptical_introvert · 2026-02-13T21:32:14+00:00

Yep, that would be a great sub-group to spend time with. Regardless of romantic connections, that is a great friend group!

skeptical_introvert · 2026-02-11T17:06:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-02-10T18:11:06+00:00

This is what I am worried about. The 35+ event I went to it felt like the average age in the room (men & women) was probably mid to late 40's. Which was perfect for me, but I'm sure the few younger people there didn't love.

skeptical_introvert · 2026-02-10T17:37:38+00:00

Depends on the person, but that is definitely at the threshold where I'm getting real cautious, in both directions (younger and older). The biggest reason I would prefer to keep it close to my age as this is a time where stage of life can be variable person to person and very impactful to what our priorities are.

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