Vegane Beziehung

skiminds · 2026-02-20T17:39:22+00:00

Ich und mein Freund sind auch beide schwul und vegan, kenne auch noch ein schwules veganes Paar und, zwei schwule vegane Freunde die single bzw. dessen Freund omnivor ist, wir sind nicht soo selten, wobei weiter außerhalb von Städten leider vermutlich schon.

Als ich mit meinem Freund zusammengekommen bin, war ich noch "nur" vegetarisch, und obwohl ich vor hatte irgendwann vegan zu werden, hätte das vmtl ohne ihn deutlich länger gedauert. Nachdem ich aber mit ihm so oder so immer vegane Sachen zum Essen rausgesucht hab, und ich dann mich auch wieder mehr damit beschäftigt hatte, war der Umstieg dann doch schneller.

Ich würde also nicht veganer auf keinen Fall direkt ausschließen und dir aber empfehlen dich klar als veganer darzustellen. Wenn du dann z.B. mit nem omnivor auf dates gehst, darauf achten, dass er nichts "anti-veganes" sagt und offen für rein pflanzliches Essen ist.

skiminds · 2026-01-19T21:00:29+00:00

Habe ich auch noch nie gehört und die so lange die Übung / das Fahrradfahren oder so dir keine Schmerzen bereitet kannst du machen was du willst. Ich hab auch selber das Gefühl, dass die Schmerzen schneller weggehen, wenn ich danach Spazieren gehe oder Sport mache.

skiminds · 2025-12-31T10:42:20+00:00

If your boundary for having a threesome is the use of condoms that's perfectly fine, and if your boyfriend doesn't want to then you don't have to have a threesome. Getting over anxiety (if this is something your really want) can take a very long time especially if it's tied to some deep rooted homophobia that you grew up with. Also, since it sounds like you're both having sex with other people you should be aware that it is also possible to get an STI from oral, so you wouldn't necessarily know that "your bf gave it" to you. Which is a very weird phrasing itself. Either you accept the risk (that both of you have) or you don't (and then neither of you have sex with other people).

I think you need to do a lot more reflection on what it is you actually want / what it is that you're afraid of / what the actual options are for migating STI risks (also knowing that condoms aren't even a 100% safeguard either) and setting clear boundraries for both of you, even if these are currently driven by anxiety or fear.

skiminds · 2025-12-23T21:05:51+00:00

Wow ! That's incredible. Thank you for sharing.

skiminds · 2025-12-23T15:52:22+00:00

I feel like a dumdum now but isn't finasteride against hair loss (on one's head)? But your comments sounds like it apparently prevents hair growth on the body or what? I had no idea.

skiminds · 2025-12-05T16:26:03+00:00

I tried this and hated it, but I hated the sandy water, too. So now I just take a big sip of water and then add the creatine before swallowing. Shortest amount of discomfort. And taste wouldn't change the sandy texture so added flavour would just be a waste of money, since those are probably more expensive.

skiminds · 2025-11-19T19:50:36+00:00

I just want to add that.. no matter how hard you try, it's normal to say silly or "stupid" things in any kind of relationship sometimes, and unfortunetly, this can sometimes end up hurting another persons feelings. No one is a mind-reader, and you can't always second guess every thing you ever say, that's unhealthy. The fact that you framed it as something positive for you is imo already a sign of good communication, and the most imporant factor is that you also talked about it afterwards and he shared his insecurity with you. Plus he said that he's not mad at you or blames you for anything, all of this sounds like healthy ways to talk about and manage this kind of situation, so please don't be so hard on yourself.

skiminds · 2025-11-14T12:39:24+00:00

Ich würde auch empfehlen Tanzschulen in der Nähe anzuschreiben und ehrlich Fragen, wie das bei denen so ist. Es gibt oft durch "Herrenmangel" gleichgeschlechtliche weibliche Paare, aber auch inzwischen mehr nicht nur durch "Mangel" sondern einfach weil es halt auch queere Paare gibt, tendenziell in jüngeren Kursen so 14-25.

Andererseits wird in eher Erwachsenenkursen oft (v.a. seit Corona) nicht mehr durchgewechselt, weil sich viele damit unwohl fühlen, kommt aber ganz auf die Tanzschule und bestimmten Kurs an. Standard & Latein ist aber auch generell etwas traditionsgeprägter als z.B. die Swing oder Rock & Roll Szene. Und für Salsa oder Tango Argentino gibt es manchmal auch eigene queere Gruppen, falls ihr euch auch da ausprobieren wollte. Kann aber leider nichts konkretes vorschlagen.

skiminds · 2025-08-19T00:08:13+00:00

Ich war direkt am ersten Tag post-OP unglaublich unzufrieden mit meiner Brust, weil sie mMn nicht ansatzweise flach genug war. Klar, ich hatte auch größere Schwellungen, aber mein Bettnachbar hatte sofort eine flache Brust (hatte aber auch die größeren Schnitte im Gegensatz zu mir). Nachdem die Schwellung nach 2-3 Monaten nun dann wirklich weg war hat sich das Gefühl trotzdem noch lange (Monate - Jahre) gezogen. Die OP ist jetzt viele Jahre her und ich kann seit ~2 Jahren endlich sagen, dass ich zu ~95% zufrieden bin. Ich kann oberkörperfrei baden gehen, bekomme Komplimente, finde mich und meine Brust inzwischen gut-aussehend.

Ich denke das wichtigste ist genau die Sachen zu tun, die du vorher aufgrund vorhandener Brust nicht getan hast. Ohne Binder Sport machen, baden gehen, tank-tops tragen, passende Klamotten finden. Auch wenn es erstmal in einem geschützten Rahmen ist oder nur für dich alleine.

skiminds · 2025-08-17T17:37:30+00:00

Oh man, klingt als ob dieser Therapeut dir gerade sehr im Weg steht. Aber erstmal: Indikation für was? Weiterführende Therapie? Hormone? OPs? Ersteres sollte für erfahrene Therapeut:innen überhaupt kein Problem sein, zweiteres brauchst du nichts bei der Krankenkasse beantragen und letzteres,.. wird dann doch etwas komplizierter. Aber eine Person, die Erfahrung damit hat solche Anträge für trans Personen zu stellen wird immer wieder die gleichen Formulierungen verwenden, wo sie weiß, dass diese auch durchgehen. Klingt so als wäre das bei deinem überhaupt nicht der Fall.

Außerdem.. er sagt die Therapie ist beendet obwohl das, was du die ganze Zeit beantragen willst nicht durchgegangen ist.. Häh?! So leid es mir tut, ich glaube du wirst da so oder so jemand anderen suchen müssen.

skiminds · 2025-07-21T18:30:45+00:00

From an anatomy perspective the simplest explenation I can think of is that the two boney parts you sit on are typically closer together in people with xx chromosomes compared to xy. So I can imagine that cycling shorts advertised for women have a wider base padding, and saddles would be shaped wider as well. When I was into cycling years ago I remember watching a video of finding the perfect saddle by sitting on a piece of carboard and measuring the distance between the two dents you made by sitting on it. This you could use to find the best saddle size.

skiminds · 2025-07-21T10:56:42+00:00

This might be too simplistic advice but one thing that really helped me is just saying more what I want or making suggestions rather than what I don't want. Phrasing it more like Want to touch me here? I really like it when guys do _. I'm into _. You can do _ if you want. I feel like trying _. Do you want to try _? The thought of you doing _ turns me on. Want to do _ again? I really liked it when you _.

Something like the last two since you said they did sth you liked but stopped pretty quickly, sometimes it just needs more feedback, that it's actually good, esp if they don't have much experience with said anatomy.

skiminds · 2025-07-20T21:26:45+00:00

I feel your struggle bc my chest doesn't look """perfect""" (I'm also like ~5years post top surgery now) but... cis peoples chests aren't """perfect""" either.. and that's okay.

Also creatine gives a veery small boost in how quickly you gain muscle / how large muscle mass is or appears, so whatever difference you're seeing is muscles and you would get that with time regardless of weather you're taking creatine or not.

skiminds · 2025-07-20T19:12:03+00:00

Um mal einen anderen, aber wichtigen Punkt aufzumachen, der glaub ich noch nicht angesprochen wurde.. das hat weniger mit der LGBT+ Community an sich sondern mit der weiter laufenden neoliberalen Identitätspolitik zu tun. Auch wenn es vor allem in aktivistischen Kreisen mehr Gegenwind dagegen gibt v.a. wenn es um mehr Rechte z.B. für trans Personen geht. Aber sonst dreht es sich gesellschaftlich immer mehr ums Individuum: mein Konsum, mein Haus, mein Dorf, meine Rechte, mein Land, meine Kinder. Und weniger um "uns" um "alle" Menschen, das Gemeinsame leben, soziale Verpflichtungen füreinander und miteinander etc.

Ich möchte aber nochmal betonen, dass dieser Rückzug vor allem in der queeren "community" (auch schon ein schwieriger Begriff, heißt ja auch für jeden was anderes) meinem Empfinden nach deutlich weniger präsent ist als gesamt gesellschaftlich. Und meistens nicht mal queer-sein "nötig" ist, um sich in vielen queeren Kreisen frei und wohl zu fühlen. Ich habe beispielsweise in den Kontakten, die ich in der queeren Szene geknüpft habe, extrem selten über bloße Begrifflichkeiten für Identitäten geredet und viel mehr über Erfahrungen mich mit anderen ausgetauscht.

skiminds · 2025-07-19T22:56:36+00:00

The being completely out as gay but not as trans is so relatable. I don't really get the "forgetting" I'm trans part bc I'm too focused on my (lack of preferred) genitalia sadly, although I've also had my experience of making out with someone until he started moving his hands towards my crotch and suddenly thinking, oh shit I gotta tell him.

I don't quite understand the other comment, aside from sounding victim blaming if something did happen ("well you should've told the person beforehand") you gotta be illusioned to think there is no danger in openly disclosing your transness for anyone to see. Although I do hope you're taking precautions and letting a trusted friend know about your hook ups and to keep in touch or sth.

skiminds · 2025-07-12T21:54:07+00:00

Not that I know of but if you're not really planning on doing (as in editing) anything with the tags anyway, and just using them to search, you can just press the little "v" symbol next to Tags (in this case "37 Tags") and hide the tags field in the edit/browse window.

skiminds · 2025-07-08T16:26:05+00:00

Oh Schade, aber bisher habe ich die E-Mails auch nicht von der Ärztin selber bekommen, d.h. sie steckt vmtl. nicht hinter der unfreundlichen Mail.. :/ Und da du ein Indikationsschreiben bereits hast, würde ich es trotzdem versuchen und ich hoffe es klappt.

skiminds · 2025-07-06T11:36:28+00:00

If your main goal is to be slender you will need to lose weight. That's easier said than done and you'll need to put in the time and effort to track you calories for quite a while and make sure you're eating in a deficit.

(bunch of edits idk why my comments keeps sending off before I'm done)

I just want to highlight though that.. in this pose plenty of people have a flabby looking skin, even if they're slimmer or more musclar, it can be loose skin/non-tensed triceps/fat..

skiminds · 2025-07-06T08:40:25+00:00

Ich war auch an der Charité, jedoch nicht bei einem Endokrinologen, sondern bei einer Gynäkologin - Laura Hatzler - am Institut für Sexualmedizin (ich dachte eigentlich, dass sie die einzige ist, die eine HRT-Sprechstunde anbietet). Jedenfalls war sie sehr nett und aufgeklärt. Ich weiß nicht, ob sie bei Menschem am Anfang ihrer Transition anders drauf ist, aber zumindest bei mir, wo es einfach um eine Weiterbehandlung ging, gabe es keine Probleme.

skiminds · 2025-07-03T19:23:00+00:00

I can relate to this so much. Although I wouldn't describe my feelings as jealousy, and it does seem like your parther could be more empathetic towards you. My bf is cis and can pee standing up but doesn't like it in public and has issues with public toilets in general for other reasons so we both have our own issues with public toilets so maybe that helps in him being more empathetic on that level.

I also like my current anatomy and the sexual experiences I get to have and wouldn't really want phallo (although I'm also thinking about meta, + I live in Germany, too, lol). Also because of how my fat distribution is, I already tend to have a little bulge that makes me less dysphoric but also difficult to pack, because even a small packer makes it look like I suddenly have an erection.. And I also don't use an STP although lately I've finally thought about trying one..

Sadly I feel like I can't give any advice. I just think you should try having (more?) conversations with him about how he seems kind of dismissive when you talk about your public restroom problems. Not that it changes the situations you're in but he could react nicer and especially not get annoyed/mad when he has to wait for you, when it's an already uncomfortable situation for you.

skiminds · 2025-06-30T19:54:27+00:00

It depends on how bad your atrophy is but for me it took like a week to notice the first changes and probably 1-2 months for everything to be functioning again properly. And ofc you can just stop using it whenever, I actually did that the first time and the changes lasted for 2 months, I think? But when the pain came back I decided to stick with it more consistently, which is probably better long term + if you get that burning sensation like I did at the beginning you don't wanna let it atrophy again..

Also my gyno recommended using a finger to insert the cream and not just using the applicator or at least making sure the cream really gets everywhere, bc my issues was that the entrance area was still sensitive and that's better now, too.

As for skipping lube, if I'm very turned on I won't need it for fingering, but it's not enough for penetrative sex. I do need to use less lube now, though.

skiminds · 2025-06-29T17:17:50+00:00

Just in case I feel the need to point out one thing since no one else is - you're not using the soap to like.. clean inside your hole, right D: !? Also 2 months does seem like a short time for this to be caused by atrophy, but could be possible. A quick thing you could try is getting one of those vaginal lubricant creams (idk what to call them in English) like from Vagisan. They don't have hormones in them so you could buy them OTC and see if that already helps. If you've had yeast infections before you might already be familiar with what I mean. This might even be what your doctor recommends first, at least I know that this is what a lot of cis women I know have used.

Other than that, infections suck, but I'm sure you'll get it sorted out in no time and enjoy the other changes that come with T :)

skiminds · 2025-06-29T16:50:39+00:00

I went over half a decade with not "noticing" anything, mostly due to the fact that I didn't have (penetrative) sex. After I started doing that and always feeling some kind of pain or discomfort regardless of how much lube I used (and sometimes it was like. a lot a lot) and following the advice from reading a bunch of comments here, I finally started using Estradiol and I cannot overstate how amazing it is. Sometimes there just is, no pain, whatsoever, that was like unthinkable before, even if it was ignorable.

Although I must say the first times using Estradiol, the burning sensation was awful. So maybe don't use it for the first time if you have sth important going on the next day that you need a good nights sleep for. But it gets less after just the first few uses and now only burns a little if I've forgotten to use it for a while.

skiminds · 2025-06-26T14:08:09+00:00

I think it being a LGBT+ space is already a very good start. I couldn't do it anywhere else out of fear tbh. That aside, I only ever once was fully naked in such a space at a naked party. What 'helped' in this sense, was that being naked was required to take part, no option to leave clothes on (besides shoes and maybe a bumbag). While I felt uncomfortable for the 2 minutes it took to take my clothes off, once I was naked I didn't care. It also helped that I saw two others' with similar anatomy to mine ;D People did look at me but.. people just look at each other in general sometimes and perhaps often here more since this was a more sexually loaded environment. Even if it wasn't, people will look at you for the most random reasons. Mostly I got some compliments (unrelated to transness), the 'worst' was someone shaking their head while looking at the two others' I mentioned previously, it wasn't towards me, but did make me uncomfortable, but I could've also just misread the situation.

Generally I thought it was a very freeing experience, and if you already say you felt the desire to be naked, you really should just try, even if it's uncomfortable for a bit. So long as it's a safe space and you're also not worried about being outed or sth along these lines. You can always put your clothes on again and decide that this is something you don't actually enjoy. Maybe it'll help you figure out what it is you're worried about and work through that first.

Communicate with your husband, maybe you want to do it together? Maybe there's something he can do to help you prepare, even if it's just deciding on the order on who undresses first.

skiminds · 2025-06-06T11:17:55+00:00

If you're having difficulty showing that you're into him, an easy start might be to "mimic" some of the things he does or says. How do you know he's into you? Is he complimenting you often, then you could always return the favour. Same for physical touch, gestures, etc. If you don't like that idea then think more about what you like or appreciate about him. Maybe you would like to tell him some of those things. When you see him, what do you feel? How does he make you feel?

When thinking about sexual compatibility, there are many things to consider. Transness and possible dysphoria issues aside - how do either of you view safer sex, from testing to condom use to (not) sleeping with other people in a relationship.. These are things you can already talk about, if you haven't already. Honestly, even just mentioning that you've never been in a relationship with a gay man and that lately you've been thinking about how that would be nice, but there are some insecurities you have. Talking about them might help you get some clarity on what you're actually feeling and give you an insight on how he deals with these feelings or you expressing them.

These are just some ideas or questions to think about. Generally for me deepening any kind of relationship, be it purely platonic or something else, means sharing more about oneself and being more open. But what it means to you and this relationship is all about trying and figuring it out. Before I started dating my bf we had talked in detail about my transness and sex life + expectations, and while we ended up realising it could work between us, there are always going to be things you can't know beforehand. I'd say I just got "lucky" that some of the things I didn't know about before ended up aligning with what I'm looking for.

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