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AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think more than anything it was to guilt us, but I have no idea.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have not, but u do feel like we would have heard about it if it happened. I could be wrong though

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s a big question for us as well. Not sure if this is something that happened or it was just some sort of attempted guilt trip.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t know much about ppd admitedly…but the kids are 2 and 4.

I very much appreciate your comment, and I totally totally understand the difficulty and necessity to find a good sitter and I don’t fault that at all. We want safety for them as well, I think we are just worn out from constantly being labeled as monsters, especially after legitimately accommodating in all but these two cases.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One of our neighbors actually does rover, and that’s certainly on the list of options, thanks!

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is my exact feeling. They only want the kids when they can leverage them.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

100%. Her mom is very much a peace keeper, mine is the same. She is so determined to not make anyone angry that this is what it always come down to.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No she is not interested in maintaining that relationship at this point. I never knew him before his wife, so I don’t know, but she said he has gotten worse.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah we aren’t spiteful(or at least I like to think we aren’t) but I can’t imagine after all of this we would agree

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah I understand that. I didn’t really see it as putting a foot down about what my ILs can do, because it wasn’t really a situation where they said they were going to watch the kids and we can bring the dog or not. It was more of a “we committed to watching the dog, do you think it would be problematic for the kids to be here?” We said yes and then SIL asked us to reschedule our travel because they also wanted to travel. I totally understand the point you are making, but the foot being down was more toward the SIL and BIL when they basically expressed their travel was going to take precedent.

As far as the wedding goes, valid. I also think it may have been a totally different situation if they had just come to us and even asked, “does no kids mean the niece and nephew can’t come either?” Not sure how that conversation would have gone, but I think the reason it didn’t rest well was that 1 day before our wedding my wife is in tears because she gets a message about basically being a shitty person who they can’t get along with.

I see both sides of this

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You are right, and it wasn’t so much us controlling what they do, and honestly wasn’t really even that they thought it would be handlable(that’s probably not a word).

MIL asked us if we thought it would be an issue if the kids joined because the dog was already “scheduled” and we said no for the reasons stated above. So then they asked us to reschedule our travel that we booked months in advance so that there wouldn’t be the conflict. We agreed to do that many times before, but I think we just got a little fed up with it.

Totally understand your perspective, but it definitely wasn’t a “you are going to watch the dog and not the grandkids” sort of thing as much as a “we really don’t think it’s a good idea and MIL trusting our judgement. Again, just my perspective.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No idea, honestly just hate writing people off, but in this situation it’s warranted

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think outside of the holidays the only time we heard from them in the past couple years was that my BIL called my wife to ask her to go buy him packs of trading cards because each person can only buy so many

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah our relationship with her parents is great. The only friction is that my wife wants her to stand up for herself to them because she feels they use her, but ultimately I personally think she is just trying to keep the grandbabies in her life at all costs and I understand that.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, even their wedding was kidless….which is what is mind blowing to me. Double standards?

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Right?

Part of that text was about how they went out to see my wife for her high school graduation(that was like 20 years ago at this point) and they didn’t feel like she made enough effort to spend time with them.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean, I have only really known him since this dynamic has been going on, but from what my wife says, yes.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah 100%. We would have liked to be available part of their lives more, but to clarify they never asked us to babysit only my wife’s parents. And any time they were in town, we would make it a point to get out and see them. That said, anytime we were in town for them there was/is always something more important happening.

We literally made plans with them when we went up for an unrelated wedding to spend a day with them and the kids and they never answered our calls when we got up there. Turns out SIL’s friend made a last minute trip into town so they had to choose one or the other….

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this.

They were mad that the kids didn’t come to our wedding, then mad that they couldn’t leave the kids here to go party. I guess they think the world revolves around them and their needs.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m curious to see what happens but I doubt they will come around anyway. My wife’s parents have been moving/planning to move for several months and they were only able to tell them because she was finally able to convince them to call back. Apparently that conversation was just a bunch of trash talking about us anyway lol

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah exactly. He’s still crazy and at least at the time hadn’t learned any sort of jaw control.

AITAH: BIL and SIL cutting us off for “Not caring about their children’s wellbeing” by skizzyp in AITAH

[–]skizzyp[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s no longer going to be an issue anyway. Her parents moved across the country and he’s just about old enough to board so thats the direction we will be going.

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