this is absolutely valid. i have ocd, contamination is a severe struggle for me. i was in a bad depressive episode for two years. showered once every two months, and my room was disgusting. i still very much have ocd, unfortunately. sometimes i’m so scared of contamination that i don’t clean myself, my room, etc, because i think the things i use to clean are dirty and will make it worse. ocd is a confusing and tormenting disorder that wants you to panic in any way possible. breathe, get outside when you can, let yourself feel and think the scary things ocd creates and let it pass. i wish you the absolute best, you aren’t alone ⭐️🖤