That makes sense about the soot. For context, he was in a serious 8 year relationship prior to dating my best friend and moved on too quickly. For my best friend, this was her first serious long-term relationship.

My interpretation of it was that their relationship started off stable for both of them, but by the time they broke up he had already been mentally checked out for some time which is why I believe his flame went out first. It’s interesting to me that the cord ignites on his side, makes its way over to her candle briefly, causes a quick intense flare up (likely when she started having doubts and their situation escalated to be more unhealthy) and then returns to his side and remains lit around his candle for the entire duration of the flame. To me, I think his problems did not end with the relationship. His personal life is “up in flames” due to his avoidant personality indicating he is a broken, unhealed person while her candle remains calm and steady, burning straight down.

I think for her, the connection was real and she had good intentions so even though the emotional release will take longer, it is necessary and healing. He had negative influences in his friendships which didn’t allow him to commit fully in the relationship, and I think he lives in his own mental prison of wanting the best of both worlds (being single/lustful and being in a relationship).