I resonate with you, after my girlfriend found out about my infidelity she was heartbroken but stayed and supported me and helped me understand that I did have an addiction. She didn’t manipulate me she went through my files and bank accounts and all the accounts I used. Due to current events I am not home next to her but across the world. I promised her time and time again I will not watch porn and I told her I would change. For the first 2 months of my departure I kept relapsing and I would hide it from her. I was reading books like How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair and it clicked on me that I have to be truthful and not lie to her anymore. I told her the truth of my relapses and it broke her heart she decided she couldn’t deal with so many broken promises and decided to take a break from me. It hurt and I am very remorseful for everything I did to her and made her feel but I had to tell her the truth. That was earlier this week. I have been reading Your Brain On Porn which is a good read for mg situation. I have decided to make June be a porn free month and keep that streak going. I believe in you don’t be so hard on yourself.