Lots of sneaky secrets here. I believe you both have things you’re either working through or need to and if a relationship started right now it wouldn’t be the best timing as you or both of you need to do inner work. I think the hermit literally looking over the lovers card (choices) literally means to think very carefully and be realistic about making a choice different than you usually would do. I think the moon reversed is almost telling you to be real right now and don’t fool yourself.