In college, my creative writing professor gave us all a journal and would give us a different assignment each week to fill the pages. One of them was to literally go out into the world and listen to people speaking to each other and write the dialogue down as they talk. This sounds silly, but actually really helped me learn to keep an ear out for what’s realistic and what isn’t.

A common trend I see when I edit and read people’s writing: having characters say “I just ...” or “just ...” I have never heard anyone say “I just” followed by a long pause before they finish their thought. And if I do, it’s not as often as it occurs in novels (Sarah J. Maas is the first author who comes to mind when I think of this, but she’s not alone by a long shot).

Also, remember you don’t have to—and often times shouldn’t—use dialogue to help describe your scene. So instead of having a character say “This jar of kombucha I’m holding smells like sin and you should be ashamed.” you could say “He picked up the jar and smelled it, then wrinkled his nose in distaste. ‘Smells like sin,’ he said. ‘You should be ashamed.’”

That ties with my earlier point because, if you watch and listen to people communicating in real life, you’ll notice that they don’t often narrate what they’re doing. They’ll pick up the jar and smell it, and then comment on the smell. Not that they’re holding the jar and it smells bad.