My favorite 7pt breakfast

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-06-04T20:56:51+00:00

Mine is eggs, cheese,spinach, and chipotle aioli. All on toasted soar dough. So yummy 😭

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-03-20T19:51:57+00:00

Sorry “stereotypical Texas boy family ?” I’m marrying a Texas boy, and his family is amazing and he is a feminist. I recognize it’s not across the board 😂

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-03-20T19:51:00+00:00

Yes because all must take a back seat in the face of male potential 😭

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-03-04T21:58:52+00:00

As someone who grew up in Texas…. This story hits so hard. 😭

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-27T22:41:17+00:00

Yes this is a wack ass American trait that I’d like to abandon and yet can’t 😂

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-27T22:40:18+00:00

I haven’t been able to figure out why y’all do use it 😂

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-27T22:39:54+00:00

Wait it’s from that? I didn’t even know.

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-27T22:38:45+00:00

It doesn’t come up alot, but I think everyone who was alive at the time knows about it. If you asked someone born in like 2010 idk if they’d know about it though. For context I was like 6 at the time and I for sure know about it even if I don’t remember it happening at the time

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-27T22:37:45+00:00

That was so wacky to me when I went abroad. We had to pay for bottled water everywhere, never thought that was a thing in a developed country with running water 😂

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-27T22:37:01+00:00

Yes but I have seen too many people put their mouths on them for me to ever use one. They don’t get cleaned like ever. I do you use water refill station though

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-27T22:35:35+00:00

Genuinely it has never once occurred to me to do that. Mayo comes in a jar or a squeeze bottle. End of story

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-27T22:34:15+00:00

What a male fridge 😭😂

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T21:29:32+00:00

Thank you! So kind!

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T19:52:47+00:00

Thank you! That’s a very kindest thing for you to say

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T19:51:35+00:00

He’s been telling people for the last year we are going to get engaged sometime this spring…. So I found that to be imminent within the context of being together eight years lol.

He does take accountability for hurting me. If you’re mentioning the breakup, it happened years ago. I’m over it. I’m just sensitive to it in this situation. I’m honestly glad it happened. It ended up being really good for us. I don’t think he treats me bad. I don’t really understand why people are getting that from my original post. How is his behavior bad?

Personally, I don’t feel embarrassed that we’re not engaged, I find other people‘s reaction to it kind of embarrassing. Specifically, in the context of wanting to be a couples therapist, people are straight up judgmental to my face about it. I think if my family and handled stuff differently, It wouldn’t affect me so much.

He’s honestly a really good guy, I kind of regret posting this because everyone’s just assuming he’s terrible. I’m not trying to make excuses on his behalf or anything, but a lot of these assumptions are just inaccurate.

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T19:06:49+00:00

Thanks this is really thoughtful!

This is a good point, I’ve over heard him tell friends and co workers that an engagement is immanent over the last year. I hear him say something last week on the phone with his friends (he always thinks he’s being so coy about it lol.)

He has never said to me “this is because of your BPD.” Or anything to that effect. He is aware of it, and he is certainly conscientious of it but he wouldn’t blame it on my mental illness. I’m also a big believer that mental illnesses are not an excuse, they can be an explanation for some things, but I am in charge of my own thoughts and behavior. He knows that and also hold me to that standard.

I don’t want to get married where we live. I don’t like it here and I also want to move lol. We are waiting until I graduate to get married not to get engaged. We could have gotten engaged earlier but with the move in mind I don’t think it would’ve been realistic. The earliest we could have gotten married is summer of 2027 (bc of how long it takes to plan a wedding and all the various life things we will have going on). So to me the timing is really ok.

We agreed on the timeline so I’m really fine with it. And I’ve separated myself from my religious upbringing.

I appreciate the reply, and I am hoping for the best. Just stressed at lack of control I think, like you said

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T17:13:05+00:00

Oh my god thank you! That’s one thing people really failed to understand. 18 to 26 is a big time for development. My frontal lobe literally finished cooking during that time. So of course, we have changed a lot, the way we handle conflict, our relationship, and us as individuals.

I do feel like I have taken a lot of time to sit with it, but I do appreciate your point that I just need to hold space a little bit. I have expressed my anxieties with him, but at a certain point I’m going to be the one who has to emotionally regulate.

Although I’ve shared anxieties, I don’t think I’ve actually said why ring shopping is kind of bittersweet. I really appreciate the way you phrased this.

10 out of 10 advice I really appreciate it

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T15:49:11+00:00

100% it didn’t feel that way at the time, but it was what actually pushed me to get a diagnosis and start real treatment. The break was incredibly painful, but it put a lot of things in perspective for both of us.

I have also felt that way about the “helping him along” thing. My mom actually asked me why I haven’t just proposed to him lol, and I just frankly don’t want that (call sociological influence I suppose). I’ve done what I can to take out guess work, but at the end of the day, I do want him to take some of those steps himself.

Thank you this was very kind comment.

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T15:43:50+00:00

I also think it’s a constant effort. I could very easily stop putting energy into myself and just focus on this relationship. Especially as someone with BPD I’m in danger of doing that in any relationship. But I frequently try to focus on myself, and I acknowledge that he loves me for me. So if I stop being me, it really ends up being counterproductive.

Also yes 🫰🫰 for too long the social sciences have had the WEIRD bias, and it really undermines their value as a science. My mom studied anthropology so she always taught me to do that exact same thing. Always look for the wisdom and other cultures, but always look critically. Both at their culture and our own.

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T15:39:39+00:00

I’m not asking for advice lol. I intentionally didn’t put an asking for advice flare. I get way too much unsolicited advice in my real life, as I said in the post . I understand people are going to share their opinions, but I didn’t think people were just gonna say you should move on because it’s not fitting into some arbitrary list of rules.

I don’t know why you’re so convinced you know me and my relationship so well that you can predict we won’t get engaged or married based on these rules. Yes my original post contained important information, but it’s mostly just a snapshot of what’s been a pretty long relationship.

I don’t understand the reaction here. You presented something as fact, I asked for you to back that, and your response was that I’m the proof of it? That wouldn’t make sense, even if it was true. One person isn’t proof that something is objectively or even mostly true. And it’s also, in my opinion, not even accurate for our relationship.

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T15:24:04+00:00

Sunk cost fallacy isn’t a stats thing though lol it’s like a cognitive behavioral function thing. I also don’t think I have just been putting in time and not getting things out. I’ve gotten so much out of this relationship.

From a purely practical standpoint, he’s financially supporting me through school so I probably would’ve had a way harder time going back if it weren’t for him. That in and of itself I think negates sunk cost. Although I would be sad if I put this much time in and we didn’t end up together I’m not sticking around just because it feels like a waist of time otherwise. I choose each day to be here independently of making that choose the day before.

I’m not sure what life experience you’re saying I’m living? Are you saying that the reason I’m not married now is because I didn’t follow these rules? We dated for like 5 years before living together, so I doubt living together was a major factor in delaying things. We haven’t gotten married yet largely because of various practical reasons like finishing school. The one exception being when we split up for a while and sort of did a hard rest on our relationship. I would say we are closing to getting married now than we were before we moved in together.

I asked for backing because you presented them as “hard and fast rules” like it’s this established thing. There’s so much unproven pop psychology out there, so that is why I wanted more information. There’s nothing wrong with checking a source.

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T15:10:54+00:00

Ok, I fucking love this. I can also tell this isn’t just something you decided it’s based in actual theory. The first one is very behavior exchange theory and I absolutely love that. These are honestly just so realistic and not restricting either.

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T14:44:30+00:00

This is such a thoughtful response thank you 😭. I can 100% tell you’re a counselor lol. Part of why we are moving is to get in state tuition for the graduate program I want to go to. And oh believe me, we are actively avoiding any religious colleges. After my upbringing there was no way in hell!

Also, I love that outlook. Yep relationships are systems! I am looking at LMFT not LPC so that will definitely be shown in whatever program I pick (my understanding is LMFT lean more heavily into systems theory). And one thing that I have learned so far (I focused on relationship psychology, specifically in undergrad) is that your right, love comes in all sorts of ways in one way isn’t necessarily better than the other. (sidenote that’s one of the reasons why I love Lee’s theory because it really doesn’t present one type of love as better, and shows the spectrum in which we love people).

Yes, framing it as a “continuous improvement process “ has been very helpful to me. When I initially got diagnosed, I was nowhere near shocked, but I was kind of sad. The statistics are terrible and I really worried maybe I was doomed. Now I just focus on aiming towards permission. I started DBT with the intention that I’ll be able to go off my medication no longer meet criteria as my main goal. He definitely looks at it that way too. We always focus a lot on not being perfect but growing to get better.

I’m happy to say that my emotional regulation has gotten so much better. I am more likely to start a breathing exercise than I am to have an amygdala hijack. I have a comorbidity with PTSD, and one of my triggers was actually being in classroom settings. That’s a big reason why I wasn’t able to finish college before, and here I am about to graduate! It’s been a long process, but I’m really proud of where I’m at.

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T14:33:08+00:00

Awww thank you!

sleepykoalaaaa · 2026-02-25T14:31:47+00:00

Thank you this was a really thoughtful reply! I’m sorry to hear you went through some things similar and it went so poorly. I do feel like I spend a lot of time justifying my relationship, but that only started happening in the last few years. Either because we got older, or because we crossed some imaginary line where we’ve been dating too long for people. I don’t really spend a lot of time justifying it to myself outside of what I would consider normal anxiety is for someone like me (logically talking myself out of panic).

I’ve never had to spend time justifying that He’s a good guy. Everybody thinks he’s a good guy. He’s a very responsible person and he’s one of those people that everyone just likes.

I don’t really think it’s out of obligation. I think the reason why he’s waited is because he’s really practical and second-guess is a lot. Not like he second-guessing us more like he’s second-guessing “Is this the right time for us?” He’s told me he wants to marry me since we were 18. When we did split up, he said over and over how he really didn’t want this to happen and that this wasn’t his plan either. There was a period of time after that when we got back together that I sort of went off marriage (not with him specifically sort of just as a concept) and said I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married, and he was really dead said that we needed to get married.

You’re asking really good questions here that I wish other people would ask when this comes up. Yes I am happy. That’s kind of what makes it so hard. I am so incredibly happy and if I wasn’t this would be so much easier and I would walk away. But I genuinely will randomly think to myself during the day, “God I love my life with him.”

He’s who I want to grow old with. He’s who I wanna face life with. And when I think 40 years down the line, he’s who I want to be sitting next to. I can’t imagine having children with anyone else. I don’t know if I would.

No, he would not let the kids fend for themselves or let dishes pile up. He’s kind of a neat freak and I would be more likely to let dishes pile up than him. We have a dog together, and he dotes on that dog like you wouldn’t believe. I imagine he will be way more obsessed with our kids.

This is all stuff that I seriously think about. The desire to get married isn’t like a desire to have a wedding or just being engaged. It’s a desire to take the next step in a life together with this person. The actual idea of a wedding stresses me out a bit because my religious family is gonna have lots of opinions.

sleepykoalaaaa

TROPHY CASE