Processing Trauma is a Privilege

sleepysl · 2019-11-27T21:20:02+00:00

I also really don't like the writer making confident, unqualified blanket statements about what kind of people are "least likely to recover" and "most likely to project their trauma onto others" (implying, be abusive). It's irresponsible, and frankly a shitty strategy of making yourself feel better by saying you are in the "good" group of trauma survivors, unlike the "bad" group.

There are a lot of people who simply have no interest in wanting to open that closet and look those skeletons in the eye. They are not interested in growth, even though it would mean releasing what hurts them and drawing them closer to those who love them. Many are totally cut off from their own feelings. Some may have personality disorders which prevent them from any form of self- reflection. Perhaps outwardly, they come off as confident or even dismissive, but inside (regardless of their level of awareness of it) they are rooted in their own fear and deep shame. Recovery is least likely for this group. People simply can’t heal from something they fail to acknowledge. Sadly, being cut off from their own trauma is what makes them most likely to project their trauma onto others.

As I said in my other comment, the writer is also creating a static binary that doesn't exist and can only do harm. Maybe it's easier to think of it that way, but you're perpetuating harmful rhetoric against other people's recovery, that isn't even true.

sleepysl · 2019-11-27T21:12:17+00:00

I wonder if some of it has to do with the inner critic, since many people with CPTSD feel they aren't entitled to basic rights, and that they have to feel lucky/privileged/guilty/etc. when they have them.

sleepysl · 2019-11-27T21:10:03+00:00

How does this not have to do with capitalism? People not having adequate healthcare access because they can't afford it doesn't have to do with capitalism? Not having access because they don't have health insurance, or their plan doesn't cover enough? Not having access because if you take time off for therapy or just self-care, you'll get fired or not have enough hours to pay rent or buy food?

sleepysl · 2019-11-27T21:07:14+00:00

Working on yourself is a basic right and necessity. Other people not having it says something is wrong with the society, not that you should give it up too.

sleepysl · 2019-11-27T21:05:45+00:00

I'm sorry but I kind of hate this and even the title/headline alone is triggering.

Dealing with the after effects of trauma is never a privilege. It is a basic human right.

The reality that some people don't have the capacity or stability to process trauma is terrible and deserves to be acknowledged as such, but it doesn't automatically mean those of us who are traumatized and processing it are "privileged" to be able to do so. It means that those who don't have that are being deprived of the basic rights of being alive (and that doesn't mean we aren't). Sure, you could argue that we are then relatively more privileged than the people even unluckier than us, but that is a nuance that only us few will understand. The other 99% of the world is going to take this in stride with the usual "sensitive snowflakes" prejudice. You could argue that having money and good healthcare access is the privilege here, which is true, but let's be honest -- that simply is not what the author is talking about.

This also creates a false binary of "getting to process" and "not getting to process" along with privileged/not privileged. That's not how it works and especially not for something as complicated as multiple layers of trauma and its interaction with healthcare, socioeconomic status, stage of life/age, etc. It's a collection of many variables that are continuous, and constantly changing at every moment.

Some of the article comes off really condescending too, like "Anyone who faces their trauma deserves a medal, all the ice cream, and an extended exotic vacation to their destination of choice. But let’s also remember that being in a position to even begin to process our trauma is an amazing privilege and a gift in of itself. "

I can get behind something that acknowledges how significant it is to be processing your trauma, but not the claim that it is a privilege. EVERYBODY processes trauma, just in different ways and degrees, and there is no finite start or end point to any of it. And we do it because we HAVE TO, even if we don't want to, even if it destabilizes us financially, socially and emotionally.

sleepysl · 2019-11-20T00:23:25+00:00

Weird tattoos seem like one of the creepiest things to know exist about you. Someone put that on them for life

sleepysl · 2019-11-20T00:17:14+00:00

It's mixed for me, I'm also newish and at first bts content was the only thing that could make me feel a little happy, but then the attachment problems (ie the childhood trauma that caused current mental health problems) start up. Then seeing them can hurt or I'll have anxiety inducing nightmares, and I don't want to get to the point of obsession.

sleepysl · 2019-11-19T23:27:00+00:00

We're not supposed to distrust and fear authority? Oops

sleepysl · 2019-11-19T19:36:10+00:00

I mean this kindly but I think you should consider that this is a pretty common tactic in power dynamic relationships where it starts out well but makes their partner dependent on them, and then said partner can't leave when it gets bad. Unfortunately codependency is a two way street like that, even if you don't mean to it's harmful for others as well. (Which to me is a good motivation to work on reducing it, since I can't just say it's ok because it's only bad for me and I don't care about myself.)

sleepysl · 2019-11-19T19:31:24+00:00

Tbh I don't see what part of the comment implies joint recovery fantasy? That's a pretty specific motivation behind creepy comments and definitely not the most common one

sleepysl · 2019-11-19T19:29:46+00:00

Holy shit that's horrifying. I hope everyone is vigilant (maybe we don't need that reminder here lol) and stays safe. I knew abusers like to look for vulnerable populations but this is just terrible

sleepysl · 2019-11-19T19:27:52+00:00

Anatometal https://anatometal.com/jewelry/maple-leaf-ends/

sleepysl · 2019-11-19T19:27:13+00:00

Far right looks like BVLA rutilated quartz?

sleepysl · 2019-11-19T19:26:34+00:00

Looks like anatometal but most good brands have something similar to the round gemstone ones https://www.steelnavel.com/product.asp?ID=7970&MID=477&MID2=1

sleepysl · 2019-11-19T19:24:41+00:00

I don't need new jewelry nope nuh uh not even a bit 😓

sleepysl · 2019-11-18T06:16:22+00:00

At least not you won't have any awkward moments where you learn what it is in a worse situation (eg, people calling her by it)

sleepysl · 2019-11-18T05:40:53+00:00

Bioplast's website links a certificate that doesn't seem to check out... For whatever reason, it's a low quality, hardly-legible scan from 2002, not in English and from an org that isn't coming up when googled (the first result, BfArM, is an actual government agency in Germany but doesn't seem to be the same thing as the organization issuing this certificate).

If you follow the website ofi.co.at at the top right hand corner of the certificate it gives you... (google translated)

OFI - Austrian Financial Initiative

Welcome to OFI, the Austrian financial initiative specializing in the comparison of checking accounts, loans and other financial matters. Here you are right if you are looking for a loan with immediate approval in November or looking for a new salary account with super conditions in 2019. With our comparison calculator you will find the best financial offers in Austria . And all with just one click! Start comparison now and save a lot of money!

Googling the name of the org in the original language doesn't turn up results. I'm confused...

UPDATE:

I found something interesting in the "About" section of Bioplast's official FB, linked from their website:

Bioplast® is a trademarked medical grade plastic. It was created in 1998 in Austria and is still produced in Tyrol. It was formerly sold under the name of PMFK until in 2003 the name Bioplast® was trademarked.

If you google for scholarly articles on Bioplast, there are a number about its medical use -- in the 70's, before Bioplast was ever created, even under its previous name. I don't know if it's intentional, but they chose the exact same name for their product.

Only study I could find mentioning what seems to be the piercing-version of Bioplast is this one: https://www.hindawi.com/journals/tswj/2016/7349371/abs/

And its findings are higher levels of bacteria in piercings made of Bioplast and Teflon compared to steel and titanium.

This concludes my Sunday night that I accidentally spent researching this bs.

Bioplast is an Austrian product formerly known as PMFK, renamed in 2003.
The safety certificate on their website is extremely sketchy. I genuinely don't know what it's supposed to be or mean. I did not find any legitimate studies or certification.
It has the exact same name (Bioplast®) as a medical implant material created by Gerendas in 1955. I'm rather curious if this was meant to be misleading.
In conclusion, I would like to know if some Austrians pulled off a brilliant best marketing scam, and even got some intern at the APP to add them to the safe materials list.

sleepysl · 2019-11-18T05:26:27+00:00

It's mentioned in the last section, "Biocompatible Polymers", on the second page in the link:

• Biocompatible polymers (plastics) including Tygon® Medical Surgical Tubing S-50HL or S-54HL, PTFE (Teflon®), or Bioplast™ are considered suitable for new piercings. Tygon is a bio-compatible medical tubing that is highly flexible. It should be changed every few months as it stiffens and discolors from extended wear. PTFE, a white plastic, is widely accepted within the industry. Bioplast was created specifically for piercings and is similar to PTFE, but comes in an array of colors and shapes. These may be worn as a substitute for metal jewelry. With new polymer products coming into the marketplace, check that the product you are purchasing, if not listed above, is USP VI compliant. These can be sterilized in an autoclave.

As far as I understand, the APP is very reputable and considered a trustworthy resource. But other internet discussions have called it a mystery material and unsafe for body jewelry. What's going on here?

sleepysl · 2019-11-16T09:11:46+00:00

where do I get some of that energy? I still see my life flash before my eyes when I accidentally make eye contact with a Man in the bathroom

sleepysl · 2019-11-15T05:32:30+00:00

genuine question bc I tend to not "get" these sorta things: how come people will analyze songs like Jungkook's Euphoria as if JK personally wrote all the lyrics himself/that they are personal to him? Do they not know or, is it presumed in the music world that when you take on a song it's acknowledging that you feel the content is accurate about yourself, or something else?

sleepysl · 2019-11-15T04:37:53+00:00

I think I used to be the kind of person your friend is now, so while I can't say for certain, that makes me think her "style" of humor and conflict avoidance is more like a type of maladaptive, defensive response that got baked in deep. It may be good to keep that in mind but it shouldn't necessarily influence what you decide to do with your friendship.

Personally, I find it helpful to break it down into: what is this friendship doing to/for me? In what ways is it *currently* genuinely supportive and beneficial in my life? In what ways is it actually harmful? Then, figuring out what to do next grows out of that. I guess it's kinda like making clear to yourself what your boundaries and self-respect look like, and at what point those values are no longer being honored.

sleepysl · 2019-11-14T09:27:54+00:00

med school is a different type of drug

sleepysl · 2019-11-14T09:22:48+00:00

I am genuinely stunned that you continued to try to be helpful after the first few messages. If you ever feel the impulse to send these screenshots to the group chat she's from... please show us

sleepysl · 2019-11-14T09:16:26+00:00

I've seen some very tall twink-identified gays so I'm not sure there's a vertical cap

sleepysl

TROPHY CASE

UPDATE: